First off, a grammar thing.

“The last group of minis who tried to have fun with him was threatened.”

The subject is odd here. I think changing who into the singular that fixes this issue.

I guess that's my first good point: that was the only SPaG issue I personally saw, so good job on that.

I also really liked the army of mini-Discords, well, acting like Discord. Playing keep away with the RA was funny, as well as mildly tormenting the agents.

There were some issues, though. First off, the beginning part, before the minis steal the RA, reads like an MST. I don't really have a sense of the agents being there. The same thing occurs again after the brief fun with the mini-discords. Tieing into this, I forgot that the agents were disguised as ponies until the end when it's brought up again. I think it was mentioned twice during the whole mission. (At one point, a hoof is mentioned.) This seems odd; shifting into something with a non-human anatomy seems like it would be a bigger deal. So maybe more should have been made of that. As far as length goes, good job! This was short enough that I could easily read it, but long enough that I got a good sense off the fic. So yeah, it was a pretty good mission overall, just some things to keep in mind.

(I also disagree with your assessment of whether or not this is trollfic, but that really isn't a big deal.)

A absolutely terrible mission, told in a really entertaining way. I did a mission once with eight minis in and thought that was bad, but 23 is just taking the biscuit. Surely it HAS to be a Troll fic. Either that or written by someone who dropped out of school at Kindergarten level.

Nonetheless, as I said, entertainingly told and looking forward to seeing Florestan and Eusabius deal with something a little tamer next time. If only for their own sanity.

I'd like to take in flutershy, once I get Permission.

Hey, Herr, could I request that you not hand out the mini-Discords in such manner?

The thing is, there's an MLP OFU in progress (literally being written as I type this), and... well, I'm one of the cowriters. When there's an active OFU going on mini adoption is typically processed by the people operating the university, rather than the PPCers sporking the fics.

So, if it's not too much trouble?


(Also look for a thread regarding that juicy tidbit soon)

Good job! I notice you're really trying to cut down on the length, and I'm actually really impressed with how much that improved this mission writing. Keep it up! It's always feels really good to see people working on pacing and getting the hang of their length. It's not easy...

Aside, they do mention death in MLP, albeit very indirectly. Several ponies last episode were seen attending a funeral. But yeah, it's not treated with any amount of attention as a plot device, and making it be a central idea of what happened really is against MLP ideas...

Adopting one of these mini-Discords sounds very tempting at the moment. I may take Raimbowdash if I'm feeling up to it sometime.


he just leared a good trick to do in her spare tire when sh wasent busey with her clouds.

As for the fic... dear sweet Celestia is it stupid! Makes me wanna bang my head against something...

(Oh, in the way of minis, can I take Rainbowdash? Though out of curiosity, what exactly are they capable of?)

Well, I don't think Discord counts as a spirit of fun. He's a bit like Pony Joker, taking sadistic glee in breaking minds in the most traumatic way possible.

On the other hand...WOW. Just... just wow. The stupidity, it buuurns.

If it's all the same, I'd like spitrire. Hopefully Hacken Form, Teana Lanstar, and rein like her.