Subject: Mm. One... commentrequest.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-05-31 10:29:00 UTC

Judy: Why do we care? Describe your shitbag Mary Sue in-story, you talentless hack.

You are of course free to write whatever you like, and this isn't explicitly connected to the PPC, but I still need to say this: that's a flame, right there. I'm uncomfortable with flames under any circumstances, and would ask you to reconsider that line. The rest of the MST is fine in that regard.

In fact, since it's short, I've actually finished it while writing this, so I'll comment properly. The story itself was... quite painful, and you had some good comments ('You're introducing yourself while under fire?' especially, and also the interpretation of 'spitting image of her father'). I find myself a bit lost in your references to other things - but that's why I don't often read MSTs, not a reflection on yours particularly.

And finally: wow, she's nicknamed after her horse? That's... that's quite something.

hS

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