Subject: Re: Excellent!
Author:
Posted on: 2012-01-13 19:44:00 UTC
Oh yeah! That CAD was good. I liked its level of sentience and smart aleck-iness. And the execution was definitely unique. It should go on the list of execution methods.
This is a collaboration between Aster Corbett and Ray Chell, somewhat more goofy, and humorous and light-hearted in the face of a lot of srs bsns.
"After screwing up yet again, Aster Corbett guides a new transfer to the DMS through a story containing a terrible trajeck backstory, unexplained mood swings, and a total disregard of Dragon Quest humor."
Link here!
This is definently a lot more light hearted then usual for missions, and my mental image is pretty cartoony. A very funny and amusing mission through and through.
My favorite part has to be... Hmm. Probably the CAD talking HK-47! Yeah, great idea using that, he was my favorite character! ^___^ Either that or the execution method, having a faulty sense of humor is something I'd never have thought of. Good idea!
Oh yeah! That CAD was good. I liked its level of sentience and smart aleck-iness. And the execution was definitely unique. It should go on the list of execution methods.
I loved that gag. It was one of my favorite parts of The Emperor's New Groove.
I don't know the Dragon Age canon at all, but that Sue was patently awful. Good kill.
I thought the interaction between the agents at the very end was a bit odd, with the sudden prostate begging, but overall the interactions were good. It kept the mission moving along nicely and made some nice jokes with the fic.
I abused that gag many, many times in a crossover I wrote with my friends several years ago. In fact, we added the characters from the movie only to use the gag.
And I find it amusing. The Sue's trajeck past was not convincing the agents after her over-the-top show of her Suelike characteristics.
I just had to say, the two assassinations in this mission are probably my favorite ever! (As in, funniest.)
I noticed a few minor issues in the mission. First,
"Marcello seemed to be in a ‘good mood’ and thought she was looking ‘exceptionally pretty.’ he bHgan to smile, and there was a light in his green eyes as he asked her if Angelo was bothering her earlier, although he was there to witness it."
The underlined part looks to be missing a sentence seperator and contains a typo. Short after that
"The papers made a special effort to saturate every square foot of the interior's volume"
Volume does not work with square feet. Use a different expression to show that they are filling up the whole room.
Other than that, the mission was rather well done.
Some stuff always slips through. Even with two betas. Will get on this right away, but I'm still happy you enjoyed it. :)
...but I knew that Sue was really bad from the moment she started being all "I don't want your sympathy, you idiots!" That is a common trait with trajeck Sues indeed.
Really fun mission, you two. :D
I find it amusing how the Sue was all like "I'm telling my backstory, so DON'T INTERRUPT ME!"
That was when all rest of possible believability was lost.