Pith Helmet

Subject: Pith Helmet
Author: Anonymous
Posted on: 2012-01-08 03:28:00 UTC

What is a pith helmet?

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Heya! by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-07 21:20:00 UTC Reply

So, this is the PPC message board. As most of you might notice, I'm new here. I'm a longtime fan of the PPC, and a fan of the Redwall series, LotR, Harry Potter, and The Hunger Games, to name a few. Favorite fanfics include The Urthblood Saga, the various OFUs, and others. I started out on FFnet, which can be sort of a hellhole, pardon my language. It's not always bad, but in certain fandoms you have to sift through a lot of dirt, filth, and general unpleasantness to find anything worth reading. There are some gems though.

Moving on. I came here in hopes of finally becoming an Agent, after hangin' for a while. Badfic never sleeps, and neither do I, although for entirely different reasons... Redneck Trees... Raketooth... never again...

Moving on from that now, my favorite foods include chocolate(preferred brand is Lindt), pizza, spaghetti, and burgers. I'm sort of odd, although it doesn't mean anything here, as nobody's odd when everybody's odd.

Well, here's to whatever comes!

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Hi there! by Tomash on 2012-01-11 23:00:00 UTC Reply

Have some Bleepka.

Re: Hi there! by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-12 02:13:00 UTC Reply

Oh my Eru, thank you! *guzzles Bleepka*

I might not be an Agent (yet... I'll be one if it's the last thing I do), but I've seen some stuff. It's been around for a long time, and most of you have seen it too, but it's still Bad Stuff. This is what happens when you have morbid curiosity and hail from the Troll-ridden Pit. Agents Laburnum, Stormsong, Skyfire, Naomi, Drake, and a few others dealt with it originally, and they could, theoretically, attest to how bad it is. I doubt they'd talk about it though. Just out of curiosity, by the way, I'd like to ask something about Legendary Badfic. Even though it's been previously sporked, could a hypothetical new Agent spork it as well, even if only just for fun? Also, what are the qualifications for something to be Legendary Badfic?

Moving on to something pleasant. I'd like to ask what sort of music people around here like. I know Laburnum is a huge Nine Inch Nails fan, and Jay and Acacia are Rammstien fans last I checked, but I don't know about the other Agents. My own personal favorites are mostly metal bands- Five Finger Death Punch, Avenged Sevenfold, Killswitch Engage, etc. I'm also into some older metal like Iron Maiden. On top of that, I'm also a fan of rock- Green Day, Paramore, Marianas Trench, and the Scorpions. And then there's classic rock- AC/DC, Aerosmith, Queen, and Twisted Sister. And I guess I like Cat Stevens a bit. I never could get into pop or rap, though. Not sure why.

I'm also a musician myself. I play with the school band for my fine arts credit, but I'm more of a marching musician. Always, always 120bpm is stuck in my head. And people can tell it to look at me too, I've been told. And Merlin help people who won't iron their uniforms...

Oddly, I've never learned to play guitar. So, what does everyone else here like to listen to?

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Greetings! by PoorCynic on 2012-01-09 01:33:00 UTC Reply

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this fine selection of Throwing Bricks as a welcoming gift.
First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2012-01-09 00:20:00 UTC Reply
Heya back! by OpinionedAngel on 2012-01-08 14:40:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!
Oh, hey, another Redwaller! by The Warrior of Many Faces on 2012-01-08 14:04:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Have a pair of pared pears as a welcome gift! What you'd do with them, I'm not sure, though. XD

Redwall by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-08 18:57:00 UTC Reply

I can't get enough of Redwall. Pair of pared pares? I suppose I could coat them in the venom of a blue-ringed octopus and feed them to someone I don't like. But it's a skin-contact poison, so that would be dangerous. I guess I'll just eat them. Thanks! *tosses you a large box of Bleepolates filled with Bleepka*

Blue-ringed octopus? :D by The Warrior of Many Faces on 2012-01-09 23:17:00 UTC Reply

Glad to meet a fellow blue-ringed octopus fan!
Thanks for the Bleepolates!
I'm sorry to say, however, that I do not drink Bleepka or any of the faux-alcoholic Bleep beverages; too close to the real thing for my liking, fictional or not. Thanks anyway, however! :D

Blue-Ringed Octopus by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-10 05:12:00 UTC Reply

Hi!

Hm. Yes, the BRO, as I like to call it, has a wonderful poison. What a way to go. I like poisons. Especially Ye Olde Poisonous Poison. That stuff's fun. *mutters something incoherent in French, for no reason at all- something about sodium hydroxide, cuprous sulfate, and an annoyance at the lack of chlorine to be found in the highschool chem lab*

Other fun poisons include rattlesnake venom and, of course, everybody's staple poison, arsenic! The sad part is I have to travel to get anything cool. Cape Breton doesn't have much in the way of poisonous wildlife. 95% of everything non-plant on this island seems to be coyotes, foxes, idiots, and moose- mildly dangerous, but not venomous. Unless you count rabies as a venom. Mmmm, rabies...

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Any poison can be fun by The Warrior of Many Faces on 2012-01-10 22:40:00 UTC Reply

I personally think that the more exotic a poison is, the funner it is. BRO, taipan, Brazilian wandering spider, etc. Although there's always room for Ye Olde Poisonous Poison as well, due to the irony of Sues being killed by products of their own reality warping. *fiendish grin*

Re: Any poison can be fun by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-12 00:48:00 UTC Reply

That's true. I like the BWS (Brazilian Wandering Spider) as well. There's a gift it gives before your heart stops, though. But only to men. Apparently it's an amazing aphrodisiac. But it does kill you, so it's not really worth it. I also like more easily obtainable poisons like rattlesnake (only have to travel to Saskatchewan!), but Ye Olde Poisonous Poison is also good.

Re: Heya! by Antigone68104 on 2012-01-08 12:30:00 UTC Reply

Hi, have some fudge!
Another Hunger Games fan? by HerrWozzeck on 2012-01-08 04:11:00 UTC Reply

Sweet! :D

I haven't actually started hunting for Hunger Games badfic yet (mostly because I have yet to start reading "Mockingjay"), but I'd really like to spork a Hunger Games badfic in the future, so...

So welcome!

Here, have some Mahler for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Px44IuVKM&feature=related

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Good to have you a-Board! by doctorlit on 2012-01-08 02:29:00 UTC Reply

Greetings, new friend! Have an Internet Explorer pith helmet!

Pith Helmet by Anonymous on 2012-01-08 03:28:00 UTC Reply

What is a pith helmet?

Behold, the pith! by doctorlit on 2012-01-08 04:05:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to PPC! by Aile Harper on 2012-01-07 23:20:00 UTC Reply

As a reward for joining PPC, you can have a lifetime supply of Bleeprin and chocolate bonbons. Anyway, have fun in your stay here in the PPC.
Salutations! by Fractal Dawn on 2012-01-07 22:47:00 UTC Reply

Nice to see another new face around! Have some home-made Bleepolate truffles.

Heya! by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-07 23:08:00 UTC Reply

Ohmygod, Bleepolate?! Oh, thank you! And in return, have some Bleepettes! I don't smoke, I just nicked these off someone on the way in. I'd been hoping to get their wallet. *devours Bleepolate* Is that sea salt I detect? And was one of those filled with Bleepka? Alcohol, chocolate, and Bleeprin all in one would make my life!

So, which fandoms do you like?

I should make PPC-deco truffles. by Fractal Dawn on 2012-01-08 00:46:00 UTC Reply

Yup, Bleepka--although I tried to add something to flavor it more like gran marnier, it goes great in white chocolate ganache and wrapped in dark chocolate.

Ahah. Which fandoms? Current top two are Codex Alera and especially Smallville-flavored DCU, although I'm getting more acquainted with the DCU as a whole (quagmire or not). Velgarth, Tamora Pierce, Arda, Discworld, Babylon 5, Sherlock (BBC), Doctor Who, Dresden Files, Laundry Files, Exalted, Kingdom Hearts...

Tons of stuff, really.

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Heya by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-08 01:10:00 UTC Reply

Discworld? I have heard so much good about that fandom! I've been meaning to start that, and Watership Down, for a while now and just never got around to it. If you like Discworld, you might like Redwall as well. I find that many Redwall fans also like Discworld and vice-versa. In fact, many fandoms are linked like that. It's rather interesting, and you'll see it a lot in the Pit. And many of those fandoms that are really crossover-compatible with one another. PJO and The Hunger Games could easily be crossed over. Katniss is actually Apollo's daughter. It fits perfectly. She's an expert archer, she's a good singer, she's badass, and a lot of really horrible things happen to her.

And Harry Potter could xover with just about anything, due to the capabilities of magic.

Moving on.

You know, I think I like it here. It's so much more fun than the Pit, at least in terms of conversation.

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Re: Heya by Fractal Dawn on 2012-01-08 01:40:00 UTC Reply

Ahaha, considering that the Pit is a source of much of our material, I'm not surprised. Certainly we try to be friendly, entertaining, and witty.

Actually, as I type this I'm sitting looking at my half-a-shelf or so of Redwall. I never got too terribly much into it--I'm not sure why, really, I just didn't. That said, I do love Redwall itself, and the world is very cute. I should probably try it again.

I'll admit that I rarely--if ever--read crossovers, although I've seen an author cross-over U.F.O. with Superman Returns/Lois and Clark and have it go well. I also haven't actually read either Hunger Games or PJO--although I have a few volumes of the latter and keep intending to start it.

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For Discworld... by SeaTurtle on 2012-01-08 01:30:00 UTC Reply

... I suggest starting by Guards! Guards!

Heya! by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-07 22:35:00 UTC Reply

Eugh, sorry about not being logged in, but I'm doing this from a phone and it won't allow me to stay properly logged in to post.

Most of us don't bother logging in. by Neshomeh on 2012-01-07 23:25:00 UTC Reply

Really, it's easier just to enter your name every time and not worry about it. {= )

Anyway, hello and welcome! I recommend keeping your Bleeprin and your alcohol as far away from each other as possible, since they explode when combined.

Have a link to PPC Wiki! The front page contains lots of handy links for the newcomer to the community, not to mention a list of recent mission releases for the attentive reader.

~Neshomeh

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Bleeprin/Alcohol by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-01-07 23:33:00 UTC Reply

I knew about that. But it's obviously been done *holds forward bottle of Bleeprin* I actually linked here from the wiki, originally. Hey, is death or portal malfunction an acceptable form of entry from World One to PPC HQ?

Hmm. by Neshomeh on 2012-01-08 01:50:00 UTC Reply

Well, for portal malfunction, there would have to be a portal first. Still, that's a bit more interesting than the usual "fell through a plothole" routine, so I don't see why not.

Death could be awkward, and also interesting. If you die in one world but are still alive in another, are there restrictions on returning to the world in which you're supposed to be dead...?

And yeah, a few ~~idiots~~ brave souls have managed to combine Bleeprin and alcohol, but the results tend to be nigh-undrinkable and have nasty side effects.

~Neshomeh

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Death and Entering HQ by Anonymous on 2012-01-08 03:25:00 UTC Reply

Well, if through death, I'd probably black out here on World One and wake up in PPC HQ. The question would be, would any wounds received on World One carry on to HQ? For instance, if I took a shotgun blast to the stomach and my "soul" went to HQ and formed itself a new body or something, would that new body still have a shotgun wound? I'm not entirely sure of how the Laws of the Universe work on things like that, although it seems that some new guy stumbling through the cafeteria with a shotgun wound in the belly would make a really fun scene.

The option of Portal malfunction would involve a PPC Agent's portal opening up on World One and me falling through.

I'm not sure what I'd rather do...

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Heya! by SeaTurtle on 2012-01-07 21:24:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board, good sir/ma'am. Have some of my patented hydrophobic water! Fun to watch but not to eat.

Heya! by Anonymous on 2012-01-07 22:24:00 UTC Reply

Well, I'm a guy, but don't call me "sir". I know you're just trying to be polite, but on a technical level I'm not suppose to be "sir"- NCO and all that. On a related note, my name may change to Warrant Sporky later on, dependant on whether I get promoted. Then you may call me "sir".

But yay! Hydrophobic water! Yes, it is interesting. I'm surprised the bottle hasn't simply exploded, though! What's it made of? Steelglass? It looks like steelglass. *tosses a bottle of Bleeprin* I feel like you could use this brain-bleaching material. Everyone needs it sometimes. If I ever get an RC, then I'll be sure to put this water on a shelf someplace.

I like chocolate. Have you ever tried chocolate with sea salt or hot peppers? I know it doesn't sound good, but it is! Soooo good!

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Ohh, chocolate... by SeaTurtle on 2012-01-07 22:47:00 UTC Reply

As a matter of fact, yes, I have tasted those flavours. I usually like dark (70% or higher) chocolate, but the sea salt one is really, really good. It tastes somewhat like caramel, come to think of it. Unfortunately, I can't find it in the States, which is a major bummer...

Sorry about the "sir"-ing. Force of habit.

Re: Heya! by Anonymous on 2012-01-07 22:24:00 UTC Reply

Well, I'm a guy, but don't call me "sir". I know you're just trying to be polite, but on a technical level I'm not suppose to be "sir"- NCO and all that. On a related note, my name may change to Warrant Sporky later on, dependant on whether I get promoted. Then you may call me "sir".

But yay! Hydrophobic water! Yes, it is interesting. I'm surprised the bottle hasn't simply exploded, though! What's it made of? Steelglass? It looks like steelglass. *tosses a bottle of Bleeprin* I feel like you could use this brain-bleaching material. Everyone needs it sometimes. If I ever get an RC, then I'll be sure to put this water on a shelf someplace.

I like chocolate. Have you ever tried chocolate with sea salt or hot peppers? I know it doesn't sound good, but it is! Soooo good!

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