Some concrit (spoilers.) by
PoorCynic
on 2011-11-14 02:22:00 UTC
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First off, OOH BACKSTORY! Seriously though, this mission does a very good job of fleshing out Orken's character. It gives him a greater sense of depth, which is something that is always good to shoot for. Kudos to you for that!
That being said, the mission as a whole feels a bit scattershot regarding the overall tone. Jeannine's descent into maddness initially seems like it's going to be played somewhat dramatically. However, this preconception is almost immediately discarded with a kinda goofy crossover and a very goofy breakdown. Then, at the very end of the mission, we return to the present day and back to everything geared towards drama.
Sometimes drastic tonal switches like the ones in this mission work very well. Dark comedy, dramedy, whatever you what to call it: it's a legitmate genre. However, I personally don't think that it worked in this case. Jeannine ranting about historical politicians and coffee rain made it very difficult for me to take the story seriously. Had her breakdown been a little more darker, I probably would have enjoyed this mission a great deal more than I did.
Still, you did some nice character-building here, and there seems to be some interesting strain building between your agents. I'm looking forward to your next mission.
Wow. (Spoilers!) by
Caddy-Shack
on 2011-11-13 22:23:00 UTC
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Yeah, that sure was different then usual. Don't see someone going mad (well, long-term anyway) very often. I can sorta sympathize with Orken, and agree with him. But, he probably should have found something better then Luxury for that, of course, Orken probably isn't used to those emotions (Well, genocide toilets aside) so, he still gets a hug.
*Hugs Orken* ^_^
Can;t wait to see more of this unfold!
*cue the depressing music* (spoilers) by
HerrWozzeck
on 2011-11-13 13:11:00 UTC
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zq9U8oL7D04
Sorry, it just kinda felt like it called for it. Poor Orken indeed... :(
And yeah, that fic was incredibly trippy. The word mishaps were all absolutely wonderful, and I had a great time with it. Please do keep up the good work!
Trippiest fic ever. (Here there be spoilers.) by
Ellipsis Flood
on 2011-11-13 09:23:00 UTC
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I imagine that this is how the world looks like when you take drugs. Which drugs? I don't know, but I wouldn't recommend them.
Also, poor Orken. The new ending made him so perfectly aww-inducing. *hugs Orken* Ha! I did it.