You have a few typos:

"“Yes, yes, but we can't charge her with breaking our canon.”"

and

"“Aren’t Isn't eighteen the legal age in most of the Real World?” Mittens asked. “Why can’t she decide for herself? And for that matter, why won’t her parents let her stay at home alone?”"

But I really enjoyed the mission, even though I don't know Labyrinth.

That was definitely a long, long, long, long, long, long mission. I started reading around 1 P.M. and just finished it after getting home from work, at 1:30 A.M.! That said, I think you managed to prevent it from growing boring. You kept the pacing moving forward, introducing each new section of problems in turn and letting your agents react, then moving on. Kudos on slogging through the whole thing!

One nitpick that I, as a volunteer zookeeper, must make: A couple of times, you refer to snake poison. Technically, when poison comes from an animal, it should be called venom. (Poison is more for man-made chemicals or stuff that comes out of plants, fungi, etc.)

Seriously, this thing is just... BAD. I had to skim over the paragraphs of description to get to the good stuff!

Well, at least ya got some good stuff out of it, like some new recruits, and some weapons (by the way, are the swords still up for grabs? And maybe the wand as well?)

Congratulations on toughing that one out!

Arthur Briggs would like the rapier/dagger set. Lynn Gillies would like one of the falchions -- I used one in my Society for Creative Anachronism days, and they're nice for us shorter people. And thanks!

I honestly can't believe how bad that fic was. My head started imploding about a quarter of the way through. Good job sporking it, though.

What exactly is Sue-length hair? Is it a particular length? A length that might be implausible in the circumstances, like a chemotherapy patient having waist-length hair a year later? A length that's treated unrealistically, like being floor-length and rarely needs brushing? A length that's just there for the pretty factor, a la "her sunshine-golden curls swayed past her hips"?

Being that I and a few of my OCs have hip- or thigh-length hair, I had to ask.

It was so loooooooooooooong. (Seriously.) But it was a relatively fun read, though I did find myself facepalming at a lot of the stupidity from the fic. I mean, you know it's bad when the plot can't keep itself straight. No wonder this girl eventually abandoned it is how I see it.

If I had to complain... I'd watch out for the SPaG here. I caught a Mini-Umbrigde at one point, so... It was good, but there was the odd missing word and misspelled thing.

Other than that, fun mission! :D

I think you have found and rescued an entirely newly created mini-Balrog. I'll be happy to take him into the Adoption Centre if nobody else wants him.