The link's not working.

New Floaters Mission! by HerrWozzeck on 2011-09-24 14:48:00 UTC Reply

In which Cindy, Anneli, and Xanthus deal with a particularly egregious case of bad retelling, as well as a really awful character replacement and gobs of bad spelling and grammar.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vHZlZHWmPv-yVD1dEAOL3ZfGdYFk8dkpzDcXGLxyjBU/edit?hl=enUS#

Seriously, you're not going to believe how bad it gets.

Anyway, this sporking picked up a whopping thirteen minis. Here, have a list:

Origani Killer
Shawn Mars
Hasan
riza
Madison Page
Lauren Winters
Gordy Kramer
Cosmo Kramer
tripocaine
John Shepard
shelpy
Jasno
Jasen

There is no way I'm keeping that many minis in the same place, so every last one of them is up for adoption.

And some loot:
1 'mopy' mop

Also, because I feel masochistic and feel you need to see the badfic itself to get a sense of how awful it truly is, here, have a link:

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6161964/1/HeavyRainAndTheMysteryOfTheKiller">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6161964/1/HeavyRainAndTheMysteryOfThe_Killer

So yeah, there's their second mission.

You may be able to add another charge... by Calista on 2011-09-29 01:44:00 UTC Reply

...which is "Writing a fanfic without ever actually playing the game"!

I know, the author said he played the game; but somehow, I doubt it: I think he just watched this LP:

http://bd.baldurk.org/lp/84

It's a pretty good LP, and comments are made through subtitles. Referring to the intruders as "ninjas" comes from those subtitles (from part 9) and so does "Fish Tank" as the name of the bar (part 33).

So it's my theory that this guy watched this LP instead of playing the game, decided to write a fanfic anyway, and trashed the ending despite having access to it (through the LP).

All in all, very nice work, folks. The mission dragged a bit in the middle because, like you said, it was keeping to canon (and no I don't have any suggestions for preventing this because I couldn't have solved the problem myself); but by the end it was obvious just how much of a badfic this is.

There is one thing that could disprove that... by HerrWozzeck on 2011-09-29 02:37:00 UTC Reply

When was the LP posted? The fanfic was started in... July of last year, I think. So depending on when this LP went through, that might change a few things.

(And yeah, LordMune does good LP's. I watched his Indigo Prophecy/Farenheit LP, and that was pretty good. Oh, and his LP of American McGee's Alice is also really good, though I do wonder why he left Something Awful...)

Thanks for the information anyway, though. :)

And thanks for the feedback! =D

Aha! June 28, 2010. by Calista on 2011-09-29 07:14:00 UTC Reply

Thank you, Wayback Machine.

http://web.archive.org/web/20100701151334/http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3321713

So yeah, it's definitely possible. It seems like this kid watched the videos as they came out, got impatient, and designed his own ending.
Older than six months, anyway... by Calista on 2011-09-29 07:12:00 UTC Reply

I tried to find the LP thread on the Something Awful forums, and it gave me the "you need to have archives access" message. It's likely that this is an old topic.

Oh yeah, one other clue; the LP also explains the "we ARE the cops" joke.

I think you're right... by HerrWozzeck on 2011-10-28 04:23:00 UTC Reply

...but I didn't get at it the same way.

See, he says that he got the game from his brother, who brought his PS3 with him. But... he can't get the name of said brother straight. In the A/N in the fic, he says his brother's name is Louie. However, in a recent PM he sent me over TVTropes (long story, don't ask), he said his brother's name was Joe.

He can't keep the name of his fictional brother straight. THAT says a LOT.

So yeah, I think he may have just played off LordMune.
Yeah, I see your point there. by HerrWozzeck on 2011-09-29 12:13:00 UTC Reply

In which case, that just makes the author even lazier than before. That just gets infuriating, but unfortunately, I can't charge him for that in-fic, as it's hard to tell, so...

Outside of the mission, though... ;)

Re: Mission by doctorlit on 2011-09-25 05:44:00 UTC Reply

This was a long mission, and it took me a while to get into it. Until I got towards the end, and sheer madness took over the universe. For what it's worth, I do think this author is a troll; the majority of the fic may just be a failure to understand the game's plot; but that ending chapter with the reveal is just utter, utter insanity. There's no way that was the result of thinking out the clues; I think the whole fic was setup for the nonsensical, pointless ending (hence why it omitted so much dialogue and condensed scenes down to a few sentences). Also, egsomelete. Egsomelete is the most beautiful misspelling I've ever come across, and we should totally start serving it in the Cafeteria now.

Anyway, that was all a long-winded way of saying that I can understand why this mission was so hard to get through, and I'm impressed that you kept at it long enough to get it posted.

If I may be so bold to point out a few typos:
He took in a deep breath. Oh, and the Origami Killer never kills babies...
You're missing the opening quotation before "Oh."
“A Gary Stu?” asked Xanthus. “But that doesn’t make any sense. He hasn’t really done that much to be breaking the canon so hard, so… This doesn’t make any sense.”
“I guess we’ll find out later,” replied Xanthus, shaking his head. “For now… I think this charge list might finally have a definite victim.”
You've got poor Xanthus replying to himself! Surely, his new partners are better company than that!
As Norman was not wearing ARI, he was not affected by the flash of light.
I don't know what ARI is, but since he does get successfully neuralyzed, I think you meant to say he was affected by the flash.

Yeah... by HerrWozzeck on 2011-09-25 13:06:00 UTC Reply

It helps when he keeps trying to post it to the TVTropes fanfic recs page as I mentioned in the mission A/N.

I dunno about the troll thing. He's got about ten other stories that are just as badly written. One guy referred to his Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fanfic as "Vogon prose poetry". I actually found that realy funny for a lot of reasons.

Yeah, we should start serving that.

Fixed all the errors, so thanks for pointing them out. :D

The link's not working. by Tomash on 2011-09-24 15:46:00 UTC Reply

GDocs says I need permission to get in, which i don't have. Could you please open up the doc?

D'oh! *facepalm* by HerrWozzeck on 2011-09-24 15:50:00 UTC Reply

Jesus, I do everything else I'm supposed to do with this thing, and then I completely forget that the document is set to private by default!

You'll have to excuse me for a moment. I need to go flagellate myself now.

*grabs a whip, and starts whipping himself*