What was the assignment? Is your teacher doing a course on Sue recognition and reform?

Ok, first, formatting. Please, for the love of Yawgmoth, at least indent your paragraphs.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give her 6.5. Yes, it's bad, and you've got the overbaked description down pat (though, frankly, I think you're tipping your hand with overuse. "Firey crimson" is bad enough for most sues, but "firey crimson blood red" reads like a parody) but Sues often have more than just cascades of adjectives. She doesn't have any titles, skills, or accomplishments, or even any powers beyond self-cleaning feet, mood-ring eyes, and teenage boy metabolism. If you're going for 24-karat Sue, she needs to at least have a power level over 9000 and be able to take Voldemort in a stand-up fight.