Subject: PPC Agents Wed; Disaster Fails to Occur!
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Posted on: 2011-08-07 01:42:00 UTC
by Agent T. Monk
ALMA, MI (IRL) -- Although a sprinkling of light rain threatened a potential crisis, the real-world wedding of PPC operatives Phobos and Neshomeh was, in blatant defiance of the Universal Laws of Comedy and Irony, not blighted by disaster or allegedly hilarious hijinks.
The two operatives, known to PPCers for Neshomeh's devoted service to the organization and Phobos' unholy glee in participating in the badfic game, were married at the chapel of the college of Alma in a simple ceremony that was not crashed by anyone. Phobos and his groomsmen sported formal kilts, while the bride wore trailing white accented with a sash in correction-ink red. (This reporter may have teared up a little when she saw Neshomeh walking down the aisle, but you didn't hear it from her. Stop looking at her like that.) Rings were exchanged, and the new Mr. and Mrs. Phobos were played out by a piano medley that included, among other things, the Star Wars imperial march.
We cannot confirm or deny a Flower presence at the reception, which was held in a college hall next to the chapel, but it should be noted that despite the heat the bride's bouquet was looking suspiciously fresh and lively.
The alarming trend of heartwarming non-disaster was continued at the reception, where the bride and groom shared dances with their loved ones and did, as far as this reporter can tell, both the Cha Cha Slide and the Hokey-Pokey. Another form of potentially hilarious crisis was averted via a clever scheme; knowing the wedding tradition of chiming glasses to force the bride and groom to kiss, the reception's DJ announced that every time the assembled party tried to do that, he would draw the name of another couple in the room and force them to "show the bride and groom how it's done." This prevented too many spontaneous attempts at inducing kissing and only added to the agreeable, lighthearted and completely non-ironic air of the occasion. This reporter caught the bouquet.
Photographs will be provided when this reporter's camera stops being an ass, which is unfortunately a rare occasion indeed.
Congratulations, Phobos and Neshomeh! May Eru smile upon you. Also, please don't kill me for writing this. *hides*