Better

Semi-MST amidst the glaurunging spam by Jacer on 2011-07-22 23:30:00 UTC Reply

So, I tried my hand at an MST. It's not finished yet, and I doubt it's very good, but I thought I'd share anyway. It's mostly practice for writing (hopefully) future agents Lophy and Anta.

http://ajeckaea.tripod.com/mst-sotrr.html

Paaaaaart 6. (nm) by Jacer on 2011-07-31 01:10:00 UTC Reply
Whee! Part 5! (nm) by Jacer on 2011-07-30 03:35:00 UTC Reply
Part 4 is up! (nm) by Jacer on 2011-07-24 23:34:00 UTC Reply

Better by High Voltage on 2011-07-26 05:48:00 UTC Reply

I like how you reacted more to the story in this one. The moments involving singing patriotic songs and the banter about documents actually made me laugh out loud.

That said, is part 5 the final part? If the whole purpose of this story is for these two girls to wake up and live happily ever after in Narnia, I'm going to take something heavy and bash it against my skull.

Please make this your mission, someday. Don't make me beg.

Looking forward to part 5!

I take that back. by Jacer on 2011-07-28 00:06:00 UTC Reply

Chapter 6 was just posted today, after more than a month. Curses. Now I have to edit the end of Part 5.

Ah well. Such is life.
Yay! by Jacer on 2011-07-27 22:32:00 UTC Reply

I'm glad it was better.

The story only has five chapters at the moment, so unless the author updates, Part 5 will be the final part.

I don't know if it's missionable. Most of the charges are language-related, not canon-related. Are we allowed to kill things just based on various abuses of the English language?

Maybe by High Voltage on 2011-07-28 05:38:00 UTC Reply

I read ahead to Chapters 5 and 6 on the original. She exhibits all the characteristics of a Sue, but the story isn't far enough yet for her to disrupt the canon. It also looks like the author really is trying to make a character out of her self-insertion.

All you can really nail her on right now are grammatical problems, spelling, and minor temporal/spacial distortions (seriously, how freaking long does it take to go over a cliff or open a door?). There are departments for that.

If you want to assassinate her, it looks like you'll have to wait for the rest of the story.

Jokes vs. Corrections by doctorlit on 2011-07-23 05:31:00 UTC Reply

This was fun to read, but generally, an MST should focus less on pointing out each punctuation error, and more on making jokes about what's happening in the story. Obviously, sometimes the grammar can fuel such jokes, when they cause funny or unusual imagery, but just pointing out every missing period and misspelled word gets repetitive for the reader. For example, I found your running gag about the capitalized Father referring to God hilarious, as the MSTers got more and more flustered by it. So in future MSTs, try to make more of the stupid behavior in the fic, rather than the writing errors of the fic's author (except those that make for funny jokes).

Yeah... by Jacer on 2011-07-24 02:59:00 UTC Reply

*beats down inner punctuation nazi* Will do. Thanks much.
Got it. by Jacer on 2011-07-24 02:10:00 UTC Reply

I was starting to think that myself.

OT, if I had a Twitter...

7:40 PM: Have discovered that HP 1 movie started on TV at 7. Have decided to watch.

7:45 PM: Am feeling very much the same about the Harry Potter movies as many PPCers felt about the LOTR movies.

*wrinkles nose* I suppose all the movie fans think that people are sorted in random order, then? And that the Sorting Hat talks out loud? And--never mind.

This is what I get for reading HPSS two days ago.

Pretty good by High Voltage on 2011-07-23 04:48:00 UTC Reply

It's a pretty good assessment of the fic. I actually laughed out loud when I read "Suedanese."

FYI, the original cast recording of Sweeney Todd is old enough for cassette ;)

Mkay, will fix. by Jacer on 2011-07-23 04:51:00 UTC Reply

Thanks!

More commentary by High Voltage on 2011-07-23 05:08:00 UTC Reply

It's really getting good around Chapter 3, especially since they're more concerned with taking shots at the horrible story. At that point, bad punctuation is a given.

I hope you can eventually return to this fic as an agent. I'm getting really sick of this protagonist. This is begging to be sporked.

"non-Twitter" update by Jacer on 2011-07-24 04:01:00 UTC Reply

10:00 PM: It's done. I officially hate, hate, HATE HATE HATE this movie. *goes off to rant wildly*
What annoys me most is... by Jacer on 2011-07-24 02:49:00 UTC Reply

...that there is absolutely NO mention of finding any help for these girls. I can only guess that in this world, there's no such thing as Child Protective Services, the police, foster care, 911, etc.

It's so. Blasted. ANNOYING.

Also, am going to edit Part 4 to clean up the excessive punctuation corrections etc.

Off topic, if I had a Twitter:

7:40 PM: Have discovered that HPSS movie is on TV and started at 7. Am going to watch.
7:45 PM: Am VERY much feeling like many PPCers did when the LOTR movies came out.

Later observations include "What the...Neville is NOT supposed to be careening around!!!", "You did NOT just open the broomstick at the table," and "Madam Hooch SUCKS at refereeing."

This is what I get for re-reading the book two days ago. I detect another fandom where I will may become rabidly bookverse.