AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH.

Subject: AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH.
Author: Lily Winterwood
Posted on: 2013-05-23 05:23:00 UTC

SLORP 2: NOW WITH THE ATTITUDE OF AN OBNOXIOUS FANBRAT!

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An idea is tossed unceremoniously into the crowd... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-22 22:33:00 UTC Reply

...And bonks a couple agents on the head as it goes.

So Kitty and I were gigglesnorting over how badly movies from our childhood abuse our feels, and I suddenly came up with a potential thing:

A therapy clinic for abused feels.

Is that covered by FicPsyche already, or could this potentially become a thing in future missions for people?

*Idea gets up from the ground, dazed and bruised, and attempts to stumble away.*

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We hijack your post to bring you... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-23 02:38:00 UTC Reply

...quite possibly the greatest human incarnation of an egotistical badfic author that cameras could ever record.

No, really.

Apparently, after the episode aired, it blew up the social media like crazy, to the point where I feel it may become a meme soon, if it isn't already.

It's people like the two represented in this video that reminds me why I so greatly enjoy MSTing badfics.

Because people like this REALLY DO EXIST, and their reactions to the littlest things are just amazing.

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This woman makes badfic authors look modest and rational. (nm) by Ugolino on 2013-05-25 12:43:00 UTC Reply

Myeah. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-25 18:28:00 UTC Reply

She's basically the badfic author akin to that of My Immortal, only in real life.

Yikes. by Legacy on 2013-05-23 20:21:00 UTC Reply

Yeah, I can remember the days when I was a fresh little nut job set loose on Fanfiction.net. The first critical review I got sparked a reaction somewhat like this.

Fortunately, now the nut job knows how to take constructive criticism.

Mmm, yeah. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-24 01:07:00 UTC Reply

Being able to take criticism could save financial lives and reputations, amongst other things.

Good to start early, yes?

Certainly. by Legacy on 2013-05-29 02:20:00 UTC Reply

I don't want to end up attempting to actually injure my critics!

Brrr.

And they're in Scottsdale. by doctorlit on 2013-05-23 06:39:00 UTC Reply

I wish I could say I were surprised.

Let's see... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-23 07:41:00 UTC Reply

John Taffer's done a bar rescue in Scottsdale - twice, I think -

And that's about all I got, really.

Scottsdale is: by doctorlit on 2013-05-23 15:21:00 UTC Reply

A. The bum crack of Arizona.

B. The schoolyard bully capitol of Arizona (not that that's relevant here).

So, pretty much... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-24 01:00:00 UTC Reply

I should expect news of the whole town just imploding within the next four years?

Have you seen the Tumblr? by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 03:08:00 UTC Reply

I'm not sure if it's a troll or not, but it's hilarious. And extremely offensive. And makes me, as a hostess at a fine restaurant myself, cringe in horror.

Worse - I saw the twitter feed. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-23 03:43:00 UTC Reply

ABC Amy's Bakery something-some-odd, it was a long username.

It's like a twelve-year-old who can't handle trolls going on a rampage, man.

I'm not even employed (yet) and I can practice better business operations than these two worms. (Heck, sometimes I have to, given how wacky my mom's office can get!)

Can you imagine PPC Agents going there? by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 03:48:00 UTC Reply

"Gosh, I'd take the Cafeteria meatloaf over this cr*p."

Careful. by Karen on 2013-05-23 05:02:00 UTC Reply

The owner might get offended and make meatloaf.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 05:23:00 UTC Reply

SLORP 2: NOW WITH THE ATTITUDE OF AN OBNOXIOUS FANBRAT!

Can we make this happen? by SeaTurtle on 2013-05-23 05:39:00 UTC Reply

It could be like a special Halloween RP or something, with an appropriate horror movie title:

"The return of the son of the bride of the nephew of the cousin twice removed of the grandfather of the mother of the niece of the brother of the sister of the grandson of Slorp."

AKA: Everyone bring some butterfly nets and a grenade. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 06:20:00 UTC Reply

And call the Doctor if you can.

Or, even better, the Doctor's indisposed because he's in FicPsych (again).

Better-better: by SeaTurtle on 2013-05-23 06:36:00 UTC Reply

Commander Strax.

With his scissor grenades.

Projected casualties will be as low as 80%.

Oh yes. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 06:43:00 UTC Reply

Just make sure the ...descendant... of Slorp doesn't get anywhere near the Cafeteria again. Maybe DoSAT can rig the containment field or something, if there's going to be one.

...We could even have it interrupt a Halloween party and people trying to figure out if it's a costume or not.

Slorp Juniors could be like a recurring infestation. by SeaTurtle on 2013-05-23 06:56:00 UTC Reply

They undergo mitosis every once in a while as long as there is food nearby, so you can never truly be free of the infestation so long as there is one still left alive.

Kinda like Cybermen or zerg, really: it just takes one...

That'd be an excellent Cafeteria Worker story arc. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 06:58:00 UTC Reply

Nerys Carpenter and Elysa Webber in: The Hunting of the Slorps!

In which our intrepid Cafeteria ladies embark on the dangerous quest to rid HQ of all possible questionable foods that will spawn Slorps!

Maybe the Cafeteria food will actually become edible after their efforts!

Oh no... what have you done? by Huinesoron on 2013-05-24 12:37:00 UTC Reply

"Just the place for a Slorp!" the agent cried,
As he ladled meatloaf with care;
And lifted each scoop on its perilous ride
To be sure it went here - not there.

"Just the place for a Slorp! I have said it twice:
That alone makes it better than stew.
Just the place for a Slorp! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true."

(With sincerest apologies to Lewis Carroll - although I suspect he'd be amused)

hS

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Hey, if we're gonna be starting THINGS now... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-24 15:00:00 UTC Reply

We might want to start a new thread for convenience's sake. XD

Also, how in the world did a conversation about crazy Amy spawn the Son Of Slorp? What, was everybody watching old Friday The Thirteenth films or something?

Some people just have to drag Slorp into everything. :P (nm) by Ekyl on 2013-05-25 08:20:00 UTC Reply

Feels like it'd just run the Slorp thing into the ground. (nm) by Ekyl on 2013-05-23 18:36:00 UTC Reply

I think it'd work as long as it's just a few people doing it by Outhra on 2013-05-24 01:48:00 UTC Reply

Slorp's only shown up once in the PPC stories proper, so if he, or his progeny in that case, gets a sequel, it would just be an extension of that story, and it would probably still work in a narrative sense.

Then again, if everyone and their mini starts writing stories about finding Slorp or Slorp derivatives in everything, then it would get old really fast. Once or twice, and it's still a novelty. If it gets to ten or twelve times, people would have gotten tired of seeing it long ago. But I don't think writing one more story's going to make Slorp overplayed just yet.

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Dubious meatloaf is fine, yeah. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-24 02:10:00 UTC Reply

Sentient meatloaf monsters, on the other hand.....

Seems to kinda lose the charm if done repeatedly, no offence by Ekyl on 2013-05-24 04:27:00 UTC Reply

Plus the Slorp thing's kinda dominated the past couple months, so yeah. :P

...Can we weaponize it? by Ugolino on 2013-05-28 01:21:00 UTC Reply

Mary Sue? Apply Slorp directly to forehead.

No. (nm) by Ekyl on 2013-05-28 01:54:00 UTC Reply

Wholeheartedly agreeing with Ekyl here. by Outhra on 2013-05-28 02:25:00 UTC Reply

Even if a prospective weaponsmith does manage to get a Slorp sample, which would involve a probably-unsanctioned form of timestream-crossing, throwing it onto a Sue or otherwise using it to destroy a Sue would just give the Slorpling more biomass.

Slorp is made of Sue-flesh. Slorp is capable of subsuming other creatures and gaining their abilities. Those two points, when combined, would make a Slorp-weapon a bigger danger to the continuum than the Sue would have been by herself. At least a Sue usually won't run around devouring anything in its path. And gods help us if the Slorp-copy starts subsuming canon characters!

So, yeah. Slorp-launching weapons=Bad Idea.

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In that case, we've gotta start watching out for evil Jello. (nm by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-24 04:28:00 UTC Reply

-_- (nm) by Ekyl on 2013-05-24 04:28:00 UTC Reply

;P (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-24 04:29:00 UTC Reply

Or maybe everyone would starve o.O (nm) by DawnFire on 2013-05-23 17:08:00 UTC Reply
DO EEET (nm) by SeaTurtle on 2013-05-23 07:16:00 UTC Reply

Oh, the SO's gonna be pissed when he gets word of this... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-23 07:58:00 UTC Reply

Be prepared for unusually and extremely harsh punishments if it comes to pass.

What, for making HQ safe again? by SeaTurtle on 2013-05-23 08:07:00 UTC Reply

Cafeteria workers doing what the DIA could not accomplish FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

No, no! by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-23 08:13:00 UTC Reply

He'll be pissed when he hears about Slorp's return!

Given that half of the PPC thinks... by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 08:23:00 UTC Reply

that Slorp was a Flower conspiracy, it may be for the best for the SO to appear angered by the return of the PPC's new foul-smelling nemesis.

Why doesn't it surprise me... by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-23 08:26:00 UTC Reply

That the agents who highly dislike the Flowers would call this a Flower conspiracy?

Because anything at the PPC could be a Flower conspiracy. by Lily Winterwood on 2013-05-23 08:28:00 UTC Reply

I'm pretty sure that if they weren't so sure that they were going to get mauled by other agents those conspiracy theorists would imply that a lot of the PPC's past emergencies were Flower conspiracies.

Okay, some of them could have involved Flowers, but that doesn't mean all of them were in on it. Right? Riiiiiight?

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I'm willing to excuse whoever runs slash. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-23 08:47:00 UTC Reply

They're probably, er... Preoccupied, at the moment.

I'm half willing to excuse the Foxglove Official. by World-Jumper on 2013-05-23 17:02:00 UTC Reply

After all, only half of his personalities were in on the plan anyway.

Did...did I just... by Karen on 2013-05-23 18:53:00 UTC Reply

Did I just spark the Return of Slorp?

Yes, and you should be ashamed. by SpecstacularSC on 2013-05-24 00:59:00 UTC Reply

Don't enough agents suffer in the cafeteria already?
It appears so! (nm) by Ailavyn Siniyash on 2013-05-24 00:37:00 UTC Reply

Looked it up. by DemonFiren on 2013-05-22 22:59:00 UTC Reply

I...I do not think so. Doses of Bleepesteem should be cure enough, though.