Subject: When I was taking care of T.C. . . .
Author:
Posted on: 2011-07-10 22:13:00 UTC
. . . I consulted with my brothers (both ex-USMC) about likely fates for the Sue, who was an overpowered bully in a military setting and disregarded rank, chain of command, or anything else in her quest to be Big Woman on Base. They gave me several ideas, which I unfortunately couldn't use because they might have technically run afoul of the torture clause. The two I remember are:
1) The ironing board treatment. Take the offender outside, place a common ironing board on top of them, and start piling the board with the heaviest things you can find. Has been known to happen to servicemen that screw others over (the way the Sue was doing), but it smacked too much of the old crush-a-witch-slowly thing.
2) Suicide watch. This one's psychological torture. If you hate someone, and the whole unit is focused on making that person's life miserable, one of the worst things you can do is have that person put on suicide watch. Now, in addition to being loathed by everyone around them, the hated person is never allowed to be alone and gets woken up once an hour every night. Ostensibly it's to make sure they don't kill themselves, but it's really just to drive them insane and make them suffer sleep deprivation. Again, it was too close to torture, and I had to shelve that one.
Moral of the story: don't consult with vengeful military guys when trying to dispose of a military Sue. Anything they propose is likely going to cross the line.