Subject: Three filk songs I would like you to cover
Author:
Posted on: 2011-06-17 15:45:00 UTC

Mary Sues from Japan
The Mary Sue in Denial
Old Cooper's Gary Stus

"The Agent's List", to the tune of "I've Got a Little List" from The Mikado, is not yet on DA. Yes, I've seen most of these Sues (Saavedro's nephew was my own Stu from a long time ago).

1ST. AGENT:
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list! I've got a little list!
Of Suvian offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed! They never would be missed!
First there's Legolas' beloved who's half-Vanya, half-Maia.
There's Sirius' beloved who's a fifth Marauder. Gah!
The sorcerer who is in love with Susan Pevensie,
And Achenar's twin sister who's as mad as mad can be,
And poor Worf's Klingon lover who is "less brave than a wrist,"
They'll none of them be missed! They'll none of them be missed!

CHORUS:
He's got them on the list! He's got them on the list!
And they'll none of them be missed! They'll none of them be missed!

1ST. AGENT:
There's the sister to Darth Vader who will soon Darth Caedus face.
Saavy's nephew raised on Myst, I've got him on the list.
The tootsitramps who're screwing every warlock in the place
They'd none of them be missed! They'd none of them be missed!
Then the "piratess" so pretty who's not much more than a girl,
Who woos Jack Sparrow and makes him forget about the Pearl
And the Lady Firebird's cousin from bloodlines that never were
Who's also Brennan's kin by uncles kidnapped by the Shuhr.
And that singular anomaly, Tom Riddle's little sis
I don't think she'll be missed! I'm sure she'll not be missed!

CHORUS:
He's got her on the list! He's got her on the list!
And he's sure she'll not be missed! He's sure she'll not be missed!

1ST. AGENT:
And that puella nimia nuisance who just now is rather rife:
The Paravel Fifth-Throne-ist (I've got her on the list).
The Pegacorn who's humanoid and who'd be Leggy's wife
I don't think she'll be missed! I don't think she'll be missed!
And those fan-created phantoms of a canon-warping type
Such as once made Garfield Odie kill and Jon Arbuckle. Yipe!
Likewise such as make Harry go to bed with You-Know-Who.
I'm sure that much more of such types will soon occur to you.
And you ought to put as many as will fit upon the list
For they'll none of them be missed! They'll none of them be missed!

CHORUS:
You may put them on the list! You may put them on the list!
And they'll none of them be missed! They'll none of them be missed!

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