Subject: Well done.
Author:
Posted on: 2011-06-04 13:53:00 UTC
You already received what feedback I had to offer in my beta comments. Still, a bit more positive reinforcement never hurts. Kudos to you both for suffering through this for our entertainment.
This is rather special, since it's Nume and Ilraen's fifth mission together. {= D
This is also special for other reasons, one of which is that Tungsten Monk co-wrote it with me. Her agents are Suicide and Diocletian, if you didn't know. Nume came across them hiding out in Azeroth during his last mission, and now they're back in action for:
Ring Child, a LotR x HP crossover. Sort of. WARNING: lots of swearing and suggestive situations. I don't know if it's quite NSFW or B, but it tries.
This mission has been divided into sections for your convenience, since it topped off at about 27,000 words. At the behest of our betas, we reflected carefully about the pre- and post-fic sections, and decided to keep them because of what they contribute to our spin-offs overall and, indeed, the PPC canon. You'll see.
We came across a panoply of interesting minis on this mission. I don't know their adoption status (check with Cassie to be sure), but here they are:
Tom Bombadill
Baliman
Elrdon
Cheif of the Dunedain
Bormir
Arwin
Sarmon
Udyn
Haldri
Khazad-dym
Cnrdan the Shipwright
Flui
Gluin
Lothlurien
Meras
Cereborn
Boromis
I suspect some of them are due to transcription errors of characters with accents, like Udyn and Khazad-dym, Flui, Gluin, and Lurien, etc. Still, no excuse for not checking over your work.
~Neshomeh
Nicely done! Seriously, this fic... I dunno how to describe it. Thank goodness that abomination's over and done with...
Yay for Suicide, Diocletian, and... Makes-Things? Huh.
...I can say, wow, that was a pretty awesome mission. It was a little slow to start, but once it got going, which it did pretty quickly, it was great. I just wish they'd thought to take Flanor back to HQ with them...
Very impressed,
Lleu
They did take it back, though. It's the latest addition to the decor in RC #999. I suspect they probably hung it on a wall rather than using it as a blanket, though. That would be a little creepy.
Glad you enjoyed it.
~Neshomeh
I finally got to read it. And finish it, since that was the longest mission I've ever read. I mean, that's almost novella-length! That fic was AWFUL. It's one of the worst I've read a mission for. And I still can't figure out why they bothered to say he was Harry Potter.
Suicide is very cool, but I especially like Dio, so I'm glad she's back. The other agent pair isn't as interesting to me, especially since Ilraen doesn't (yet) have very much personality that I can see.
Two things. First, some people think Tom Bombadil was a Vala, and there's nothing I know of in canon to say that Valar are affected by the Ring. I don't know why they would be. So I don't see a reason to assume that only Eru isn't affected.
Second, you'll have to have a really good explanation for who said that Makes-Things was dead and why they said that. The theory I'd heard was that he created the dead body so he could go on a long vacation away from PPC agents. Then, he'd know why we think he's dead. Or maybe he told someone to hide where he's going, and that person did it by claiming they'd seen his body. I don't know the details of his supposed death, but we need some good explanation of why someone said he was dead and why he doesn't know that someone said he was dead. Please don't just tell me that's how the PPC works.
You should've met Ilraen before he had a personality at all.
For Tom Bombadil, I hadn't heard that particular theory, but I'd ask which Vala he's supposed to be, if that's the case. I'm not sure he fits any one of them. The theory I'd heard draws on his Elvish name (Iarwain Ben-adar, oldest and fatherless) to support the idea that he might be Eru incarnate, among other evidence (such as the Ring not affecting him). As for evidence for the Ring's ability to corrupt Valar, we do know that they can be corrupt (Melkor), and it certainly can corrupt Maiar, or Gandalf wouldn't have been concerned about handling it. It seems logical that anything less perfect than Eru would be at least a little susceptible.
As for Makes-Things' death, I'm not the one you need to ask (see this article for information and links), and I don't plan on offering any "official" explanation for his return. I'd rather see what kinds of theories the agents come up with, because I'm sure it'll be way more entertaining that way. So, what do you think happened? {= D
~Neshomeh
I did read that, yes. So I know he's improving. And him going temporarily nuts was definitely interesting.
There's a long, good article on that... somewhere. I'm not sure I could find him again. Anyway, we don't know for sure what the Valar thought of the Ring because they didn't want to get involved. As far as I remember, they thought that since the Ring was created by Middle-Earth, Middle-Earth had to deal with it, not them. This also indicates that they aren't very interested in the Ring as it applies to themselves - because it won't affect them. Plus, since it was created from Sauron's power and he's a Maiar, it shouldn't be powerful enough to overcome a Vala's power. A Maia's, yes, though I thought a lot of Gandalf's hesitancy was that the Istar were forbidden to gain power in Middle-Earth Of course Melkor was corrupt, but he CREATED corruption.
I'm going with: he said, "This is too much. I'm getting out of here. Someone cover for me," and someone made up the idea of him having died.
This mission was purely awesome. It seemed like every little thing that could possibly be a problem for the agents was, and it serves as a great example of not making things too easy for them.
The Harry thing was just severely creepy for me. I like how you guys characterized him as sucking energy from powerful canons to explain the constant cuddling. It reminded me of the character replacements from For Your Eyes Only; I hate it when a mature character is made to act babyish. It's just...unsettling.
Wow, that was an amazingly terrible badfic and a really entertaining mission. It's good to see Suicide, Diocletian, and Makes-Things back.
Funny, sarcastic, and overall wonderfully well-written. :)
~Xani
A great mission there, of epic proportions! Not only that you solved my problem of finding a DoSat PPC for my next mission. Makes-Things is alive!!
Curse my phone and it's predictive typing. That should be DoSAT NPC not PPC!
...as opposed to, I don't know, OPENED? I laughed way more at that then I should have...
I give you and Tungsten Monk my sincerest sympathy for having braved this thing. I give you more credit for having turned it into an absolutely awesome mission. That, and Makes-Things.
"Undead" instead of "not dead," I ask you. The fic was full of stuff like that; we just picked out the cream of the crop. Like I said, you really have to read it to appreciate all the little things that make it so awful.
Glad you enjoyed it!
~Neshomeh
The fight with the ficubus was very well-written. I almost thought Nume would end up dead/quite injured.
I'm glad to hear that, because that's exactly what I was going for. Thanks! ^_^
~Neshomeh
I forgot to mention that on my other response. That was awesome of Nume to quote canon at the monster that was about to eat him. Incredibly brave.
Yeah, that was a really long mission. I had to read it in two sittings, but it was totally worth it, especially for the Sue-wraith manifesting. (I almost wanted you to say that the glitter level was over 9000, though...)
Awesome job, Nesh. =D
Having read the mission through, my platonic affection for Nume and Ilraen is even more deeply rooted now. I also think Suicide is hilarious and Diocletian deserves a medal for handling him. :D
*dissolves into incomprehensible squeeing in which the words "and ohmygod Makes-Things is alive and back and YAY!" can be made out*
Diocletian does deserve a medal. We didn't really get to see her shine here, IMO, but that's because she was being such a trooper, putting up with the two big lunatics, sometimes three lunatics, she got stuck with. She's pretty much awesome just for that. {= D
~Neshomeh
You already received what feedback I had to offer in my beta comments. Still, a bit more positive reinforcement never hurts. Kudos to you both for suffering through this for our entertainment.
And thanks again for checking it over in the first place. ♥
~Neshomeh
That was a lovely mission and it made me very happy. I do not have concrit right now unfortunately; it is lost in the midst of my brain going splort in both joy and a frazzling day. If you like I will give you more detailed thoughts later but for now I thought it important to inform you that it was awesome, and so are you and Tungsten Monk. Cheers. :D
(Posting on behalf of Neshomeh as well, since she's busy right now.)
It's great to hear that you enjoyed it! The thing fought back the whole way (I swear it killed our computers at least once) but it's finally, finally dead.
That was an awesome mission! So much awesomeness.
Also, Makes-Things! Excuse me while I squee uncontrollably for a while.
. . . I'm afraid of getting Makes-Things cranky. He might not realize he was dead, and he might get suspicious if we all seem happy to see him. <>>
Glad you liked the mission! We had a lot of fun (and a few brain-breaking "WTF did I just read?") moments writing it.
I saw this story on the Pit when it first came out and I'm so very glad it became the subject of a mission. :D I figured I'd stop being a creeper just to say thanks for taking it on.
Unfortunately, we could only get through about a quarter of the story, because there was just . . . too . . . much.
Glad you liked the mission! It was great fun. :) (I'm replying for Neshomeh, since she's incommunicado for a bit.)
I like them long! ... The missions.
And a properly horrible story. I think that the worst fics makes the best PPCings.
Oh, minor nitpick. I found this mistake: "before before replacing it again"
Thanks for finding that! I don't have access to the coding, unfortunately, but I'll let Neshomeh know about it.
Glad you enjoyed it! And yes, it was hella long. And big. And girthy. And formidable. And I'll stop now.
They were already written, so it would have been a shame to delete them after the fact.
My litany of comments during the Beta'ing is probably enough from me, so all I have left is 'yay'!
Several, in fact. ;) We thought a lot before choosing to keep them. Like Neshomeh said in the OP, we thought it provided some moments we were hesitant to remove--like Suicide and Nume finally manning up and apologizing.
Thanks so much for your work on the beta, especially on a monster this size.
A great read, kudos for turning something so... wrong into something so amusing and entertaining! ^_^
And it's nice to see Makes-Things back in action. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey and all that.
. . . on behalf of Neshomeh, since she's gonna be busy for a while. :) I was thrilled myself when she decided to bring Makes-Things back; like Agent Luxury, he's sort of an institution of the PPC.
Really, really great mission! It was a good mix of funny (oh man, some of the horrible things in that were hilarious!) and also somewhat dramatic.
I found myself loving Agent Suicide. I have a terrible urge to make one of my agents a fan of Agent Suicide, just because that would be funny. >_>;
Also, I thought somebody did give an on screen death to Makes-Things after the fact...? Ah, here's a link: http://warrior-joe.livejournal.com/5155.html
Though, this may or may not matter. Weirder things have happened in HQ than people somehow returning back from the dead... Or never having been dead in the first place. Or the /wrong/ them being dead...
*eyes that duplicator/transmogrifier/time machine warily...*
You/your agent would not be the first to succumb to Suicide's charms. Back in the day there was a pretty even split between Dafydd fangirls and Suicide fangirls, both in and out of HQ. Around here we're far too dignified to fight over a silly thing like who has the better LO, though. Plus, Diocletian would probably beat up anybody who got out of hand, and Constance definitely would. *g*
As for "The Last Hurrah," read carefully. Did you see him actually die, or actually dead after the fact? I didn't. ^_^
~Neshomeh
It would be just like HQ for somebody to appear 'dead' for a long time, and really not be dead-- but simply lost such that nobody knew what happened to them for years. :U
I'll have to read the mission when I have a few hours to spare (the curse of going online before work :P ) but I've done a quick check on my minis-database.
Congrats, Nesh, you found twelve new minis!
New (unadopted) minis:
Tom Bombadill
Baliman
Gluin
Lothlurien
Meras
Cereborn
Boromis
Cheif of the Dunedain
Sarmon
Udyn
Haldri
Cnrdan the Shipwright
Kidnapped (adopted) minis:
Elrdon
Bormir
Arwin
Khazad-dym
Flui
Anyone's welcome to come and adopt one of the unadopted ones! ^^
I honestly thought Khazad-dym would be one of the new ones--ditto Elrdon and Flui. But then, nothing made very much sense in this 'fic, so why should the minis? :D
I'm surprised that some of those hadn't been found before. I mean, sure, Tom Bombadil doesn't get that much press, but it's such an easy mistake to stick an extra l on the end. Same with "Meras" and "Cheif of the Dunedain." Or, wait, is it just that they're unadopted rather than never-before seen?
Thanks for posting the actual lists, anyway. {= D
~Neshomeh
You found never-before-seen minis. And they're now waiting to be adopted.
Aren't you proud? :P
You dropped a bridge on him! And I get to be the first one to say so!
This was so great! Seriously. I loved what you did with the opening. The agent interaction was interesting.
I get the feeling that perhaps we are going to learn something about Nume's past soon. It was really interesting how frantic he suddenly became when they arrived at FicPsych. And Ilraen! He's getting so responsible and mature and his own character now! (You know excepting the whole psychotic break thing.)
I have the link open to read more of Suicide and Dio's missions--I swear!--but I've not read them yet. I love these guys. I really think that Suicide has just become my favorite agent. He's hilarious--and dirty minded! It's a wonderful combination.
I liked watching him and Nume play off each other, and I hope they go on more missions together, just to see what happens.
The only thing that I thought was a bit odd was how laid back Nume and Suicide took it when Ilraen went off his rockers. I thought they'd have a bit more urgency in making sure the two of them didn't fall off the edge. I did love how Suicide was being all instructive about it. He really seems to have a teaching side to him on occasion.
I saved some lines that I really liked.
After considering them for a moment, he discreetly laid a couple of pieces of bacon on top of them.
(was that just a hint of a triumphant, I-just-made-someone-I-don't-like-really-uncomfortable swagger in his walk? Why yes, it was),
Diocletian leaned over and gently closed Suicide's gaping jaw, and lifted Nume's wrist to check his pulse.
nor the fact that his eyes turned "plead," which manifested as a hreen-blello plaid.new Sue color. It sounds properly revolting.
"'A hord,'" he said, "'was being blown.'"
From the fic:
The bridge may have fallen, but there was no body under there. All hearsay, I tell ya. ^_~
Nume doesn't want his past learned or talked about, which just about explains everything about him--certainly everything that comes out of his mouth. That said... yeah, maybe we are.
I know, Ilraen's all growing up and stuff. *sniff* He still has those moments of innocence, but I think the next time we see him he'll no longer be following along and struggling to get a word in. No doubt that's the cause of the psychotic episode. He knows what he needs now, though, so he'll work it out. Eventually. Probably. Narrative Laws willing. *g*
I think Nume and Suicide were a bit too tired to react more than they did. On top of everything else that happened in that mission, someone's partner losing it is not that momentous, really.
I heartily second everything you said about Su, and I can promise that you will see him and Nume on at least one more mission together. Muaha. Muahaha. Muahahaha! *lightning cracks*
...
>.>
<.>
~Neshomeh
I was really feeling the agents' frustration with this stinker, and I can't wait to see where all the little hints you were dropping about them are going to lead. "A breeze stirred at the invocation of canon" was a nice touch, as well.
One minor issue that didn't really detract from the story: assuming you were aiming for German, the word is "scheiss" or "scheiß", not "scheist".
Whoops, I'll fix that.
I wonder which hints you mean. There ARE hints, certainly, but some of them pertain to things that are or were rather than things that may yet be. Still, I encourage analysis of the text to see what you can come up with, if you're into close reading. I'd be interested to know what you find. *g*
~Neshomeh, who has aspirations of writing stories that can stand up to serious analysis.
Those are mostly what I was referring to. It's really fun getting these little glimpses into Nume's past, and trying to figure out what he so desperately wants to leave behind.