Subject: Black Horizons
Author:
Posted on: 2011-05-26 00:38:00 UTC

a 21st century girl winds up in Middle Earth and finds herself befriending the last person she expected. I own nothing. Forgot to type this at the beginning, but I don't own anything at all! Complete!

Caroline awoke on the apex of a rolling grassy knoll. Still too hazy to register the growing plume of smoke in the distance, or the muted sounds of warfare, she knew only that she was not at her house or the 21st Century insurance office where she worked as a sales clerk.

Before she could fully get her bearings, her attention was stolen to a nearby individual who found her lying on the ground. His voice was charmingly uplifting, with slight hints of exploitation and folksiness that seemed out of place.

"Damn, girl, watchoo doing all the way out here?"

She sat up and looked at the strange man, wearing a bright green football jersey and baseball cap.

"Martin Lawrence, playing Jamal from the 2001 Hollywood movie Black Knight?" she asked incredulously. "You are the last person I would have expected!"

"We don't got time for this!" he chided her with embarrassingly white-washed Ebonics. "There's a whole mess of orcs coming this way."

"Are we going to start as an ill-matched pair, but during the course of our adventures you'll teach me the down-to-earth practicality of life in the hood, and I'll teach you the values of middle class liberal privilege, and we'll eventually emerge through the conflict as life long friends?"

"B**ch, we don't have time to deal with your crazy sh*t - those orcs are -"

But it was too late, a host of Uruk-hai arrived before he finished his sentence. They were captured and brought before the band leader who recognized them as a genre-savvy pair of upstarts and ordered them to be immediately executed.

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