Subject: The Fellowship of the Ring: Achtung Spitfire!
Author:
Posted on: 2011-05-25 09:03:00 UTC

"Chloe Bowerbank has died, and been transported to Lothlorien. Here she tries her best to piss off the elves and be annoying. 10th walker. No romance. Quite a bit of swearing. R&R. Please?"

"Instead of a Dark Lord, you shall have a queen!" Galadriel cried, her voice booming through the trees. A wind had picked up, stirring her hair and gown as she stood by the mirror. Frodo cowered, clutching the Ring, unnerved by the sight. "Not dark, but beautiful and--"

A portal opened up in the air between them, through which the limp body of an oddly-dressed girl dropped, flopping unceremoniously to the ground like a puppet with cut strings.

The wind and light died down. Hobbit an elf queen were left staring awkwardly at the corpse, neither quite sure what the appropriate reaction to this sort of thing was supposed to be.

"Holy shit," said Frodo.

---

Because nothing's more annoying than being interrupted by a falling corpse when you're in the middle of a dramatic proclamation.

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