Well, it's like this.

I have a pair of Floaters working a 'Sue in the Redwall continuum. It's this real crackfic; it was originally written in Russian, then sent through some cheap-as-free translation software into English.

So, due to circumstances that are ENTIRELY their own faults and NOTHING to do with my desire to torture my characters at every possible opportunity, they have to sink a cruise ship roughly the size of the Titanic with a sword, a bow, and a dozen arrows. Oh, yes, and said cruise ship is occupied by upwards of three dozen canonical rats that they are allowed to kill under no circumstances. Oh, and one of them is possesed by the Author-Wraith of the fic, merged with Cluny the Scourge, horribly mutated (beyond being merged with Cluny), and therefore only sporadically helpful, if at all, so this all has to be accomplished by only one Agent. Oh, and said Agent has a completely unmedicatd case of ADHD, an leather armchair he's lugging around and totally unwilling to give up, and a mini-Deepgloomer (named George) currently living in a Nalgene bottle.

...

I appear to be up a tree without a creek, paddled into a hole, dug into a corner, painted to a point where I can't do something else humorous, et cetera, et alii, ad nauseam.

Ahem. And so, dear friends, I beseech you. Please, help a brother out, so he does not have to rewrite ten damn pages and can post this freakin' mission already. Thank you. God bless.

L'Homme Arbre

P.S. Oh, and before someone suggests it, just letting this slide under 'Acceptable margin of error' isn't going to happen. Namely because the 'Sue they're trying to kill has already died in the fic. Twice. And is still walking around. Well, crawling around, since her legs have detached from her body and are moving independantly. Oh, and despite her legless condition, she's desperately trying to make out with the mutated Cluny/Agent thing in a way that will make it look like she's being raped.

Yeah. Any acceptable margin of error that ever existed has been exceeded (with style) a long, long time ago.