Critique

Permission Request by Antigone68104 on 2011-05-12 23:48:00 UTC Reply

I would like to put a couple agents to work for the PPC. I would also like to request Response Center 8345 for them.

Agent Arthur Briggs, DMS-Freelance.
Agent Briggs was recruited from a (fictional) Third Doctor badfic. He was a member of UNIT, only in the story to die covering the Sue's escape. Instead, he was recruited to the PPC.

Intern Lynn Gillies
Intern Gillies is a World One recruit, who learned of the PPC when a CPS team paid a visit to her D&D game. Some of the other players had been working on a crossover fic; their player-characters and the crew of the Enterprise.

Full agent bios are here: http://gamingkitty.livejournal.com/15805.html#cutid1

The intro/permission piece is here: http://gamingkitty.livejournal.com/16085.html#cutid1

Their first mission: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2839210/1/Chantel (Hogan's Heroes)

Permission granted! by Techno-Dann on 2011-05-21 04:00:00 UTC Reply

Sorry about the wait. Consider yourself Permissioned, official, and etcetera, quod erat demonstrandum.

One quick note, though. The PPC really isn't allowed to operate against authors - they have Rights which their characters don't, and out-of-verse, there's miles and miles of difference between killing someone's fictional character and threatening them in person. So, yeah. It'd be easy enough to justify (They were OFU students who should have known better, and the visit was a "please don't" rather than anything more formal, perhaps), but please don't make a habit of going after authors instead of Sues. (It just causes problems.)

No problem by Antigone68104 on 2011-05-21 13:17:00 UTC Reply

Schedules get busy, especially this time of year.

I'll clean up Gillies' background. I was going for CPS having a "please don't make this much extra work for us" chat, obviously it didn't come across that way. Sorry.

Critique by DigitalSocrates on 2011-05-20 18:38:00 UTC Reply

Disclaimer: I'm not a PG but here's my two cents anyway.

Start off with the bad first (there's not much of it):

1) Gillies' entrance into the PPC is unlikely. The PPC's jurisdiction doesn't stretch into World One, nor would they be likely to interrupt a DnD game. The PPC is more concerned with published works.

2) The intro is informative, concise and well written, but it's not funny. Not even situationally funny.

If you amend Gillie's character/backstory to have a bit more likely and maybe make some other tweaks so that humor creeps in more, this would be perfect.