Subject: Really good mission!
Author:
Posted on: 2011-05-12 23:07:00 UTC
I'm just going to point out an error in the first paragraph...Unless I'm totally wrong, shouldn't "What do you think where badfic comes from?" be "WHERE do you think..."? I'm also pretty sure that there's a few missing commas in various places.
Anyway, just saying.
Again, nice job otherwise! I especially liked the carp-slapping. Heh.
I finally finished my first mission. Big thanks go to the IRC channel people for giving some hints and especially for Caddy for betaing.
Also, I have a new web hoster: http://rc7331.freezoka.net
Link to the mission: http://rc7331.freezoka.net/mission1.html
Typos are free for all.
Also, I have found the two Wrath Cadets Keal'thas and Vasj and the mini-dwarf Magni. He's a reverse mini.
You may adopt them, but I warn you, the cadets like to poke agents with pointy things and Magni... he's a dwarf. No further comments.
~EF
Overall I liked your mission. There were a few places I had some trouble following along with the canon, because I know nothing at all about Warcraft. Other than a bit of vagueness that wouldn't have bothered me had I known canon, I didn't notice any nitpicks.
Oh wait! One. I prefer reading online materials that have a space between each paragraph for ease on my eyes. That's not really a nitpick, though, more a personal preference.
Nice one, I enjoyed reading that!
However, you might want to put the 'change colour scheme' option at the top, as it took a while for me to find it, and white on black is hard to read for some people.
Oh, and I think there might be an error in the last line: "...ignore that Forks, WA wasn't that far from Los Angeles away". Shouldn't that be "...wasn't that far away from Los Angeles"?
Sorry for the nitpicks!
They help me correct things.
Also, I'm not sure where I could put the but- oh wait I do have an idea right now.
Much better with the links at the top, but they, er... don't appear to work correctly. They send you to the webhost's main page as opposed to reloading the mission page.
I'm just going to point out an error in the first paragraph...Unless I'm totally wrong, shouldn't "What do you think where badfic comes from?" be "WHERE do you think..."? I'm also pretty sure that there's a few missing commas in various places.
Anyway, just saying.
Again, nice job otherwise! I especially liked the carp-slapping. Heh.