Subject: Re: Mission plug!
Author:
Posted on: 2013-05-16 11:55:00 UTC
Wonderful, Lily (you already know my opinions, I've been giving them to you throughout...)
What happened to the mini-Reapers? Did someone adopt them? You've only mentioned the mini-Aragog here.
~DF
A Girl Out of Time (NSFW; the fic is kinda NSFB too. The fic has a warning for dub-con; the mission has a warning for mentions of past abuse)
Target: Suemione Granger, Doctor Stu, the Spirit of Hogwarts, and various other Character Replaced canons
Agents: Christianne Shieh and Eledhwen Elerossiel (DMS) with the Disentangler and the Agent (DIC)
Fandoms: "Foul Suvians, cease your show between the glitter and the woe! Vanish like a tinker's cuss; I say to thee: EXPELLIARMUS!"
Things added to continuity:
-More on Dis and the Agent's backstory
-More on Christianne's backstory
-Eledhwen's real lore name and father name are given (I'm still trying to find her chosen/mother name) as Elethwen Eithriel
-The TARDIS is OOC-Resistant and the Disentangler is protective over it. If the TARDIS is replaced, the replacement is called a SUEDIS (Suvian Upstaging Exemplar Dimension In Style). TARDISes that belong to Time Lord Sues could also be called SUEDISes.
-Time Lords use Suebuprofen, not Bleeprin, since aspirin is poisonous to Gallifreyans
-This is set shortly before the Blackout
Things up for grabs:
-Amulet of Gryffindor (uncanonical Horcrux; touch at your own risk)
-Mask of Slytherin (apparently has a curse on it like that of the more canonical opal necklace in HBP)
The sonic wand remains with the Disentangler, unless you can win it off her at cards or something.
Mini-Aragog: Hermiones
...nice mission! That badfic made me want to puke, and I don't even know Doctor Who!
-Aila
A few paragraphs into your mission:
"[A] purple briefcase appeared in the middle of the RC. There was a rattling of the clasps, and the briefcase opened itself to reveal a hole descending into a brightly-lit control room.
Perched at the top of the ladder was a young blonde woman with a set of pencils in her hair and a grin."
If the ladder was descending, shouldn't the blonde be at the bottom of the ladder?
The Disentangler went up the ladder, which was propped at the bottom, to the top, where the opening descended into the TARDIS, to speak to with the DMS Agents.
The ladder was bridging the floor of the TARDIS and the top, where the opening was. If she'd been at the bottom, the other Agents might not have been able to see her in as much detail, and the description would have been out of place.
Should I clarify that?
Wonderful, Lily (you already know my opinions, I've been giving them to you throughout...)
What happened to the mini-Reapers? Did someone adopt them? You've only mentioned the mini-Aragog here.
~DF
The Sue Lord mission is the one with all of the mini-Reapers.
We did forget to grab 'Hororcruxes', though.
My mistake.
Heh. Do you want the Archangels (and Ariel) to find Hororcruxes and take it on as a sidekick, or something? It can guide them around HQ, assuming they get there...
~DF
This is going to be fuuuuunnnnnnn.......
*gobbles extra ellipses*
~DF
But, to be fair, I did look at it and did not find any errors. So yeah.
Now, as for the mission. This was really, really good. Outside of killing an awful fic that simply hearing about made me sick, the massive amount of character development was handled very well. It was very smooth in the revelation of Christianne's past relationship, and the banter of the two Tile Lords was brilliant. May I say, I am a huge fan of the Disentangler. She is very funny, and wonderfully snarky.
Now, did I notice a reference to a Blackout story that I have not written yet? next thing you know GLaDOS is going to show up and try to take over the place or something. That was exactly what I was planning to do. Man, now I have to get on with writing the darn thing. Or pass it on to someone else.
Now, if I may, I would love to acquire the Amulet of Gryffindor. It may be a Horcrux, but I can still do something with it. Look at it probably.
I am looking forward to reading more missions from you, especially from the Time Lords. Their relationship is fascinating, and really fun to read.
What do those guys do, put new tiles into bathrooms?
Anyway, thank you! Actually, that was an oblique reference to Fish Custard's interlude, which involves his agents rescuing a stampede of ypurs from Aperture. So GLaDOS does kinda show up with the Blackout, just not... really.
Sure, go ahead! But once you're done, give it to the DMSE&R; they're conducting research into Uncanonical Rings of Power/Horcrux properties.
I should really triple check my posts.
in the BBC show Meister Who!
I think DawnFire showed me a section of this you didn't cover, where they had a maaaaaagical~ circle and were doing a ritual and it didn't seem very Harry Potter-y.
Good to know it's been sporked.
The agents originally were going to interrupt that ceremony, but then the badness of just about everything else got too much for them to handle.
Also, when they go to the Chamber of Secrets, you say "five canons," but you only mention four (the Doctor, Hermione, Ron, and Dumbledore).
And I sort of love your Time Lord agents now.
I missed that. Originally Snape was there, too, but I had to move him, so...
Where /did/ Snape come from, anyways?