bluh bluh

Star Fox Badfic (Warning: Badic is Rated Mature!) by ThatLeaf on 2011-04-04 15:09:00 UTC Reply

I have recently located a bad fic courtesy of the Star Fox series. For those who are unfamiliar with Star Fox, information about the series can be found at this Wikipedia:

http://starfox.wikia.com/wiki/MainPage

The story is just... *shudder*. Gratuitous OOCness, a flimsy plot and content disturbing enough to make one scream in agony are the mainstays of this "fan fiction". The foul piece of writing can be located at the following address. Be warned, as it was rated Mature for a very good reason (It involves adult content with anthropomorphic animals):

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5717655/1/GreenerFieldsBluerSkies">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5717655/1/GreenerFieldsBluer_Skies

Now if you'll excuse me, I must slam a door against my skull to try to forget this atrocity.

bluh by DigitalSocrates on 2011-04-08 20:46:00 UTC Reply

27 chapters. There's no way I'm gonna read be able to read this thing casually.

bluh bluh by DigitalSocrates on 2011-04-08 21:04:00 UTC Reply

I'm now on chapter 4, and the most notable thing so far is not the dramatic oocness of the supporting cast, or the fetish factor (which is actually far to subtle - vague descriptions and implied scenes rather than graphic descriptions), but how boring it is. Four chapters in and we're still doing nothing but exposition and setup.

Not to mention just how uninteresting Krystal is. "Oh, I'm a telepath and I'm also a the high priestess so everyone does what I says unconditionally so don't bother trying to escape."

7 chapters in now by DigitalSocrates on 2011-04-08 21:53:00 UTC Reply

The invasion story arch is complete. I can't imagine the reason that the author hated Peppy so much that they had him killed in such a horrible, painful, humiliating way, topped off by the fact that they trapped his soul into a crystal so he'd be in a dark place for eternity.

They also hated Slippy and Leon, but not enough that they spent more than a sentence mentioning it.

There's also 20 more chapters to go and there's no more threat that's been foreshadowed so far - all the prophesies and cutaways were all resolved with that extremely anticlimactic 'battle' between Fox and Falco. So what are they going to do for 20 chapters?

Forgot the Summary! by ThatLeaf on 2011-04-05 05:47:00 UTC Reply

In my anger over the story, I had forgotten to post a summary. This is what I can gather from the story (Readers be warned):

Two months after the endings of Star Fox Command, Fox is alone and living in his aging Arwing. He attempts suicide by crashing his ship on a nearby planet, but he survives. Krystal, a priestess from a forest village and her bodyguard Caruso rescue Fox and heal his wounds.

Fox is then idolized as a deity by the entire village and used as a sex toy by Krystal. Later in the story, Falco and his teammates, including Wolf and Leon, try to “rescue” Fox so they could use him to their advantages. However, the villagers successfully defense themselves and capture Falco, Katt, Wolf and Peppy. Slippy and Leon die in the attack and Bill escapes with his life. All of the captives are made slaves, with the exception of Peppy being buried alive and sealed in a crystal for eternity.

Over the course of the story, Fox ends up being meeting Neil Zap, who is ordered to find information about Krystal’s village and see if it’s useful for Bill and someone named Sprinkles. Fara Phoenix appears and joins the village, while Falco is transformed into a woman by Katt’s wishes (because she is a lesbian). Fox becomes a polygamist when Krystal marries him to a village guard. Lucy Hare then attacks the village to find and kill Fox, but she’s captured, skinned alive, enslaved and turned into a twisted sex being. Also, Krystal becomes so enamored with the male reproductive system, she carries out a plan to grow her own while turning Fox into a woman to impregnate him.

Just stopped at chapter 18 by DigitalSocrates on 2011-04-08 22:27:00 UTC Reply

After having skimmed like 10 more chapters. The one truly amazing thing about this fic is how they make all these bizarre crazy things boring with over-explanations and redundancies and overly passive characters.

Half of one of the longest chapters is Katt explaining to Crystal and Fara what a lesbian is. It's also 90% dialogue in large cumbersome chunks mixed with righteous indignation about the holiness of man-seed.

Reading it is like pulling teeth.
Yeah, probably. by Aster Corbett on 2011-04-05 14:07:00 UTC Reply

Yeah, it's badfic. But I wouldn't spork it. GET READY FOR A LONG DISCUSSION-PROMPTING RANT. PUT ON YOUR RANT HELMETS.

I'd like to delicately point out that the 'grossness' of a fanfic does not necessarily indicate it's worthiness to be sporked. Just because it grosses you out doesn't mean that's the reason why it should be sporked.

I recognize a lot of these nasty things as fetish material, publicly displayed or not. After reading a bit of the fic, I see that the writer was VERY aware of what he/she was writing and none of it was a mistake or an ignorance of biology-- more like a kink for twisted or different biology.

The best 'gross' bad slash for missions is fun to make fun of. Say, a story describes somebody not knowing people have intestines, or is made from an utter ignorance of how the act is done at all. This makes hilarious images of Ikea Erotica or silly physically-impossible stunts.

TL;DR-- don't look for 'gross.' Look for 'bad' -- the ones that say that an Arwing looks like a croissant, or ones that describe Fox's eyes as 'thunderclouding orbs.'

A normal, or even beige and lame sex scene with a guy who shoots lightning from cue-balls where his eyeballs should be is way funnier to write about than a canon character growing the other set of funtools.