If you already know the ending, there's little that will surprise you in the telling (actually, for Origins, that's not true after, um, the prologue. It gets complicated).

I... have no idea about icebergs, alas. Don't know about KG, who's doing the actual writing on this one.

hS

That's the thing where there is the top layer, which is what is written, and then two more layers below the surface, one being the implied things and the other being metaphorical. Or something like that. I think I just butchered it. >.

I generally tried to make it basically a fleshed-out version of hS's short, and where I couldn't stick as close to it as possible I had to fill in a few areas where there wasn't as much detail and the like; given how it's being worked on, I figured hS would stop me if he saw something that clashed with his story and whatnot. I think the prose might've ended up looking a bit patchwork, because I kept changing bits around and whatnot. I don't know, sorry.

Maybe it's an AU Earth? I mean, Voyager isn't a real ship, and she was certainly never eaten by a plothole.

hS

1. Yes, it was true. In addition to a selection of crops, animals, tools and the usual assorted junk the Voyager routinely transported across the Ocean, there were, in a secluded corner of the hold, several pots of assorted seeds. Smith had a small house in the town where they would make port, and on seeing the empty area in the hold had decided to introduce some of the Old World to the New. It was against the rules, but the crew knew that they weren’t in danger.
   
   2. ... er, Timeline? to you too! No, what? I don't understand the question.
   
   hS

We don't want you to apologize. Or, if we did, you have already and we don't need you to anymore. What we would like is if you'd take in some of the concrit you're getting and work on this some more. Any of this sinking in at all?

There is no reason for you to apologize. Take your concrit like a mature, reasonable, and sentient being and stop apologizing for your imagined screw-ups.

I don't know how to slot your spine back in, so you're going to have to do it yourself.

No, I do not jump all over him for anything these days, and I have no interest in picking on him or others. If you want to talk to someone about picking on others, talk to KG in regards to Chliever, or any of the other newbies he tries to smack down whenever he feels courageous.

As to actual concrit, the only thing I can say good about the story is that it is free of technical errors. I can't say anyhtihing else in praise of it because it reads like a first draft. It needs fine tuning. I can't pinpoint every single sentence or phrase that makes it feel like a first draft because then I'd be spending time on doing something I don't feel like doing. It feels like a first draft. It reads like a first draft. It needs to be refined and polished. This is not an outright dismissal. It reads poorly because it doesn't feel like he took the time to go over it a few more times to get it just right. This isn't a regular spin-off piece and it should have more time and effort devoted to making it just right.

Nowhere did I pick at his personal writing style, unless his personal writing style is to write something and then say 'That's it! I'm done! It's finished forever, it just needs a quick edit! No second or third or fourth draft!'. As I said, what I, and probably others, have come to expect from PPC backstories is work that's novel quality.

When it feels like a first draft it is not novel quality, and no professional writer will stop at a first draft. Stoping at a first draft after an edit is okay for a mission, and that comprises most of my mission works. But I know others like Neshomeh who do not stop at a first draft, and they continue rewriting and fine tuning until it is exactly right, and is the quality they expect from a professional work.

As far as picking and choosing goes, I do not 'pick and choose' who I reply to with honesty. As I recall, you've even agreed that you trust me as far as what I say because I'm not going to lie about what I think. If I reply, I'm going to be honest regardless. I have no problem giving concrit, so don't try to frame me as a bully because KG's work was found wanting in some spots.