Subject: Thanks
Author:
Posted on: 2011-03-16 08:58:00 UTC
Thanks for that. For some reason when I copied it into Google Docs about 90% of the Marquis' dialogue got duplicated like that. I'm guessing some random glitch with the italics. Glad you enjoyed it though.
Okay, after posting for a couple of months, lurking silently for eighteen months studying the ins and outs and then coming back to the board for the last several weeks, I feel it is that dreaded time. I wish to apply for permission to write for the PPC.
My Agents:
Agent Meta
Meta is a shapeshifter from the Marvel Comics continuum. However thanks to a quirk of his X-gene his powers only appear to work in his home continuum, leaving him powerless while he works for the PPC. He's a completely fresh rookie with absolutely no idea what the PPC holds in store for him, but he's eager to find out.
Agent Monty Biggins
Agent Biggins was recruited from a Star Trek: TOS badfic, decades ago and has worked for the PPC ever since. He follows the rules and is happy to keep himself quiet and in the background, knowing that drawing attention to himself could be what gets him killed. Esspecially given that he was created as a Red Shirt. He has a daughter Natasha Biggins who also works for the PPC as a nurse in Medical.
Their first meeting and a brief introduction of the pair can be found here as a sample of my writing:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1o5Rq7RmU3gCRkCxTk1h-MCfrEoCHTzCt_yrEE7Wuvfo/edit?hl=en#
Thanks go to Plat for the beta, and I shall now sit impatiently with all fingers and toes firmly crossed.
Okay. I liked your characters - Meta seems like he would be fun to read, and the interaction of the serious nature of Biggins with his devil-may-care attitude looks interesting.
But honestly, I don't feel comfortable giving you permission at the moment; the syntax was off, and the story seemed to lack polish.
Don't take this as a once-and-for-all no, you're quite welcome to try again when you feel you've got a better handle on your spelling and grammar. In fact, if you can send me your e-mail, on the IRC or something, I'll go over it again and let you know what I spotted. I hope you continue to hang around and post, and best of luck working on writings in general!
The following paragraph,
If the face of a Daisy was capable of glaring then the Marquis was certainly managing it. I have a report from Doctor Fitzgerald that you 'found' a Remote Activator left behind in your home continuum by one of our newer agents, and with the assistance of a Canon character known as Forge you were able to active the device and transport yourself here. Have I missed anything?
is doubled, and contains a word choice error: 'you were able to activate the device'
It's a bit clumsily worded when the Marquis says he's left with 'a new requirement for agents.' A better choice may be 'I'm left with an opening for agents,' or 'I'm now shorthanded' or something to that effect.
And that's it. Very entertaining read.
I'm not a permission giver (I don't even have permission myself yet), but I like it so far! You might want to get it beta read, though; a few commas appear to be missing, there are a few other grammatical errors, and "If the face of a Daisy was capable of glaring then the Marquis was certainly managing it. I have a report from Doctor Fitzgerald that you 'found' a Remote Activator left behind in your home continuum by one of our newer agents, and with the assistance of a Canon character known as Forge you were able to active the device and transport yourself here. Have I missed anything?" was put twice.
Great job, otherwise!