Have a grammatical squickfic for the DTE:
Im in a love triangle with two timelords

We've got character defamation, random switching to script format, blatant canon ignoring, the Sue becoming a Time Lady and regenerating before opening the fobwatch, the Sue claiming to be the Phantom (wut), the Sue being able to play piano and sing and having nauseating and cliched lyrics to boot, the Sue capturing the attentions of the Doctor and the Master, the creation of far too many mini-Reapers to count, and the Suethor's inability to spell "A/N" right.

Did I mention that this fic doesn't just abuse the English language - it stabs the English language repeatedly with a blunt spork until it draws blood, then leaves the English language for dead in the middle of a salt and lemon sea?