Uh, well... by
Desdendelle
on 2013-05-14 13:29:00 UTC
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Quoth the mission:
" “This ‘fic is, for the lack of a better word, horrendous,” [des] said. Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. “First of all and least important, grammar. It is full of run-ons and abuse of periods and ellipses.” Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. “Second... well, saying that the whole Nanoha-verse is replaced is an understatement. I estimate ninety percent replacements, including... including...” his voice broke down. He took a gulp of tea and changed the subject. “There might be a few possessed canons, especially from the Halo-verse, but I might think that because I know jack squat about it.” Taptaptaptap. Taptaptaptap. “Third, last, and most horrid...” his voice dropped to a whisper, and he grabbed his axe. There was an anomaly of sorts around the axe’s head - it looked like it was moving in a different speed than it should be - and little sparks were jumping around the blade. “Trivialisation. Of. Of. Mass murder.” He got up and put both of his hands on the table. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to face a mass murderer Sue.”
Tera made an odd coughing noise. “Not just one. Almost every Nanoha canon, save for Carim Gracia, Ixpellia, and Schach Noeura, is replaced. Ginga is working for Jail, Agito has abandoned Signum, and pretty much everyone associated with the TSAB is Always Chaotic Evil. Fate - she tortures Schach. In front of Vivio.” "
Basically:
1) Various bad grammar charges.
2) Massive replacement of characters. Just about every character with more than a line is replaced, and the rest are OOC.
2.1) One of the most OP, violent, hypocritical and plain idiotic Replacement!Sues I've even seen.
3) Trivialised mass murder and disgusting cruelty and violence.
There are other charges as well, but the last two are what makes that fic truly horrible.