Subject: Can Dayn have Splenda?
Author:
Posted on: 2011-02-26 14:09:00 UTC
Because I've got a brownie recipe that converts to sugar-free very well. (The main GM in one of my gaming groups is diabetic.)
...of course, around these parts, if he thinks it contains sugar he'd probably get just as hyper.
After a long period of poking, discussing, leaving in the hopes of inspiration, and finally getting said inspiration, we have a brand new mission from Cara and Miriam, with a shiny guest star!
You can find it here on Cassie's PPCing Livejournal, or here on KGarrett's website.
Hope you enjoy, and we do love feedback!
I think the ideas you had were quite good, but the mission itself felt rushed to me, especially since the intro is about a third of the story (and felt like more to me, since the first badfic quote is halfway in). I think you could have safely spent more time on the fic and developed how things fell apart more fully, and maybe included some of the dumb stuff you ended up leaving out, too.
Seconding the Henry VIII joke needing to come sooner, too. I was surprised to see no comment on that ridiculous name when it first appeared.
Like I said, though, what is there is good. Getting caught in the rain was a nice touch--it's often too easy to avoid that sort of thing, what with the Words to give warning if a writer bothers to include adverse weather in the story.
I am glad you rescued Nasalos. Hopefully he'll be happy. Maybe he can hook up with Ithalond and Mithiriel for support at some point. Also, Dayn is fun. ^_^
~Neshomeh
Great mission. It's always good to see the format shaken up a little from time to time to make things more interesting. Looking forward to reading more.
Another very enjoyable mission, though the Sue was cringe worthy. ^_^ Great job! :) *leaves bacon for the minis, and chocolate for the Agents*
At first we thought it'd be a simple case of "WTF is a Sue from Gondolin doing in Third- or Fourth-Age Middle-earth?", but on reading through the fic more carefully when we really got to work on it, it was pretty clear the fic just wandered through location after location without respect for the canonical geography.
Shame we had to cut some of the more WTF-y bits, like Gandalf being the caretaker of a forest of hallucinogenic mushrooms, but we weren't going to sit through six chapters of utter stupid for it.
*hands out chocolate to the Agents, though restricting Dayn's because he can get hyperactive if he's had too much sugar*
Because I've got a brownie recipe that converts to sugar-free very well. (The main GM in one of my gaming groups is diabetic.)
...of course, around these parts, if he thinks it contains sugar he'd probably get just as hyper.
That was definitely a different and interesting mission. Nice to read one in LotR that doesn't consist of following a Sue around and listing off all the stupid things she does. I liked all the weird stuff that happened as Middle-earth was trying to reset!
I'd have had her myself had I not been trying to keep off the Sues. Eeeugh... I mean, was this supposed to be some sort of crossover, or just utter fail? I'm guessing the latter, but my lingering faith in humanity wants it to be the former.
The mission was a fun read, though, and I'm sort of glad you didn't do the obvious 'This is Sparta!' joke. Uruk-kais is adorable, and Nasalos absolutely needed a break.
My only criticism was that I think you maybe should have introduced the Henry VIII joke a little earlier - as it is it sort of comes out of nowhere, even though I remembered that one elf's silly, silly name from before.
Fun stuff, though. Thanks for sharing! :)
I kinda dropped the ball there, yeah. I wanted to do the joke, realised I'd forgotten to mention that elf before, so I just kinda shoved him into the spotlight a few paragraphs before. And yeah, the cause of the damage was mainly the Suethor knowing the canon but making no attempt to stick to it; she might as well have written something original.