Subject: No worries.
Author:
Posted on: 2011-01-01 01:09:00 UTC

Don't apologise, hon - this is why we're a community, after all; we help each other. No better way to start the new year than to reaffirm what we're all here for.
(That said, reading all the other comments, I think it's safe to say that no one here is going to be able to intervene - give advice, yes, but you're going to have to work this out with her yourself. We can't literally step in, or she's likely to accuse us of bullying or somewhat.)

So, let me see...

Well, first of all, insults are not a hard science. Someone could be insulted if you describe their shirt as purple rather than blue, and some writers will be insulted by comments, criticism or parodies that others laugh at. Just because she would be insulted by something does not mean that everyone would, so she can't make a universal claim there.

Second, and probably my most important rebutta: Parodies exist. They are part of life and no one has the right to tell anyone they can't make a parody. Everything from parody movies to teenagers laughing about something as they come out of a cinema can be considered parody. As her if it's possible that there's absolutely nothing in the world that she has ever, in her life, made fun of. I doubt it. If we were all to go through life carefully tip-toeing around anything that might possibly offend someone, we'd never say anything at all.

On the same lines, following what IndeMaat said - there's a quote I have which I think sums up the matter nicely (though I'm afraid I've lost the citation): "It's amazing how many people think the right to freedom of speech means the right to be free of criticism for that speech, which would deny others the same right they claim for themselves." Unless she wants to argue that people should never write anything deconstructing another person's fictional work - which would make the entire notion of fanfic immoral and to be banned - then she can't use this point as more than a mild supporting paragraph.

Also, as Cassie said, she might be getting defensive of her own work, if only subconsciously. Someone who resorts to mocking you certainly doesn't sound like someone who has enough self-confidence to take things calmly without feeling the need to lash out at percieved attackers. It might help to reassure her that the PPC only goes after the absolute worst stories out there (presuming, of course, that hers don't qualify. And if they do, I suggest you pretend they don't - that won't do anyone any good).

I won't even go into the whole child-writers angle, because the others have covered that already. FFN and LJ and all them have rules for a reason; it's not our fault if someone chooses to break them. If they want to be treated as adults (well, teenagers, at least), then they have to be willing to take the bad with the good, and that means public posting = public criticism. The world can be harsh. Live with it. This isn't school, where children/teens are pampered and parents pay to let them pass classes.

Sorry for making this a laundry list of support points, but Aster Corbett's right, too; if someone were to write a PPC mission that was truly cruel, we'd step in. We're not a sniggering group of bullies who will support each other blindly.

On the humiliation point - yes, true, it's very likely that anyone who finds their work has been PPCd will be humiliated. I'm sure I would. First of all, we don't actively go up to writers and say "We've made fun of your dreadful writing!" We keep it low-key and post in places that really only other PPCers are likely to find it; we're a very closed community in that sense. Second, such things happen. It's life. We all get humiliated sometimes, and anyone who gets to the age of twenty without at least one absolutely dreadful shameful episode hasn't experienced enough of life to be properly living it. Tough though it is, it's good for us - even the people who take it in the worst way possible and wail, "I'll never write again!" They might think that now and change their minds later, or maybe it's true, in which case they'll undoubtedly find something else to make themselves happy. We are not their parents, teachers, or friends - we are not obliged to make their lives turn out perfectly. They have to do that themselves, and that means putting in effort rather than expecting the world to coddle them. Certainly, fanfic and fandom are fun, a hobby - I consider it such - but fun and effort are not mutually exclusive.


On a slightly different note, I'd advise you to be very careful about how you present your argument, because I expect that even if every point you make is perfect and you punch holes in every one of her arguments, she's not going to take it well - no one likes to be so thoroughly proven wrong. Most I've seen will respond with more and more feeble (or angry) protests; how many times do you really see someone meekly bwo their heads and say "You're totally right, I was wrong, please forgive me, I feel so bad..." ? Not many, and she doesn't sound like the type. A heafty dose of "I think" and "well, to me..." phrases should help. Use the plural if you need to ("we don't think of ourselves as mean..."), but try avoiding stating it like fact, because that will probably just make her deaf to your actual words.

Last, though I hate to say it, you may not be able to convince her. It happens. I hope she's not someone you consider too close a friend, or whose opinion you value too much. I hope you'll be able to at least work out a "each to their own" agreement. Good luck.

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