It's shorter than I expected, so I finished. ^^;

It seems fine to me, except for what I said before, and this typo:

"Yellowfang: YOU MOUSE-BRAIN, WARRIOR CARS DO NOT KNOW ABOUT JAZZ!"

Which is pretty funny, to be honest, but not what you meant. ^~

Also, I found the line from the fic about "molting orange eyes" worthy of comment. Just imagine what molting eyes look like. Ew.

Anyway, I think you should keep working on it. I'd like to see the rest.

~Neshomeh

First, you can MST anything you want to, trollfic or not. Like missions, the only real criterion is "will it be funny?"

Next, it would help to have double line-breaks between sections of fic and characters' lines. Right now it's hard to read, all smooshed together. For example, see the MSTs here.

I'll get back to you on content when I get through with it. {= )

~Neshomeh