Subject: Haven't finished it yet, but...
Author:
Posted on: 2010-12-29 00:55:00 UTC
First, you can MST anything you want to, trollfic or not. Like missions, the only real criterion is "will it be funny?"
Next, it would help to have double line-breaks between sections of fic and characters' lines. Right now it's hard to read, all smooshed together. For example, see the MSTs here.
I'll get back to you on content when I get through with it. {= )
~Neshomeh
...I don't love it, but I'm not sure what's wrong.
This may make more sense if you know the Warrior Cats fandom, but the fic is so stupid you can appreciate it even if you don't. That reminds me, is it generally accepted as alright to MST something that's probably a trollfic?
Anyway, link. Starkits Prophcy, MST, part 1. We haven't really gotten to the interesting bit yet. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1B5nl-p2JUPXYg1ZQfGTu7UuTFH4SDJ4FfUWrI2sib98/edit?authkey=COW2w5UO&hl=en#
Oh, and by the way, if you don't read Warriors, the list of names at the beginning is an Allegiances section that's at the beginning of every book. Don't worry, we skipped most of it.
I title things much too pretentiously sometimes.
It's shorter than I expected, so I finished. ^^;
It seems fine to me, except for what I said before, and this typo:
"Yellowfang: YOU MOUSE-BRAIN, WARRIOR CARS DO NOT KNOW ABOUT JAZZ!"
Which is pretty funny, to be honest, but not what you meant. ^~
Also, I found the line from the fic about "molting orange eyes" worthy of comment. Just imagine what molting eyes look like. Ew.
Anyway, I think you should keep working on it. I'd like to see the rest.
~Neshomeh
Thanks. Also... oops. I'll fix that. Anyway, I'll put the next part up when we finish it, the fic is very long.
First, you can MST anything you want to, trollfic or not. Like missions, the only real criterion is "will it be funny?"
Next, it would help to have double line-breaks between sections of fic and characters' lines. Right now it's hard to read, all smooshed together. For example, see the MSTs here.
I'll get back to you on content when I get through with it. {= )
~Neshomeh