Welcome, fellow user of idiosyncratic variant mixtures!

Fresh meat, to use a colourful euphemism. by PasIvre on 2010-12-26 00:56:00 UTC Reply

As you could probably tell by the subject, I'm a newbie to this board. Long-time reader of the lovely pseudo-series, though. I write (gasp!) non fan-fic stuff that never sees the light of day, because I hate it too much. I'm psychotic in the sense of actively suffering from psychoses, bisexual, a furry (scaly, more accurately), have a habit of reading badfic ('specially bad slashy lemons) for amusement, in love with blood, a mildly musical moron, and an annoyingly alliterative asshole at times. Also, bloody narcissistic. I use an odd mixture of british and american spellings, having grown up reading a mixture of literature from both cultures.
And in case you were wondering, yes, I have yiffed in hell. It was hot.

Was it really? by Aeidhryn on 2010-12-31 15:46:00 UTC Reply

Hmmm... a flamethrower for you, hold it by THIS end, not THAT one... nice to meetcha.
Welcome! by BookwormMika on 2010-12-29 14:57:00 UTC Reply

I'm a bit late to this, but oh well. Have a generic book!
Good to have you a-Board! by doctorlit on 2010-12-28 01:42:00 UTC Reply

Welcome, new friend who I technically already met in the chat, but only just noticed the introductory post of!

Have a songbook of sheet music from mildly moronic musicals! The notes should work with any instrument, including glockenspiel, esophagus and armpits.
Welcome! by Sonne on 2010-12-27 15:10:00 UTC Reply

I'm not sure exactly what to give to you, so I think a toaster would do fine. It's a normal one, but it has a USB port that allow you to listen to music while you toast some bread. Bread not included. Results may vary.
Bisexuality does not equal psychosis. (nm) by JulyFlame on 2010-12-26 22:35:00 UTC Reply

Re: Bisexuality does not equal psychosis. by PasIvre on 2010-12-27 03:39:00 UTC Reply

when did I say it did?

Your entire sentence suggested it was a list of why. by JulyFlame on 2010-12-27 05:30:00 UTC Reply

Additionally, I'm sure I'm not the only one who likes to meet people as people rather than a list of extra speshul traits that are questionable.

Give it a rest, July. by Sedri on 2010-12-27 23:08:00 UTC Reply

Yes, fine, the sentence was ambigulously phrased, but people can introduce themselves however they want. Save the nitpicking until after they've had a chance to get used to this place, okay?

And to PasIvre: Welcome! Have a fluffy pillow and a top hat.
Re: Your entire sentence suggested it was a list of why. by PasIvre on 2010-12-27 16:54:00 UTC Reply

Well, I'm very sorry if I managed to mis-communicate. Also, I was sorely sleep-deprived when I wrote that, and not...working...right. My sincere apologies.

I shall thwart you all! by PasIvre on 2010-12-26 18:19:00 UTC Reply

*feeds the bomb to the cheetah, distracts the cat with the sparkly stones, duct tapes over the camera's lens, eats the cheese, wears the scarf, saves the chocolate, and touches everything but the lamp.*
Greetings by Guvnor of Space on 2010-12-26 17:43:00 UTC Reply

While I am also a newbie, I still feel that I have a right to greet you. Right?

Either way, welcome. Don't stare into my eyes, and touch nothing but the lamp. Oh, and have this commemorative ticking bomb. It totally isn't armed.
Greetings! by PoorCynic on 2010-12-26 13:17:00 UTC Reply

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this bucket of sparkly stones as a welcoming present.
Hello! by Silikat on 2010-12-26 12:59:00 UTC Reply

Hmm, slashy lemons. I approve of this.
Have a pet cat and a lot of cheese. The cheese is festive. The cat is not.
Welcome, here's a tall ship. by khajidu on 2010-12-26 10:23:00 UTC Reply

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!
Welcome! by Sergio Turbo on 2010-12-26 09:16:00 UTC Reply

Have a folding car. It becomes a rather heavy case when not in use. Careful, it has a tendency to unfold itself when nobody is looking. Do not put it near fragile things.

About the mixture of American and British English, don't worry. I am not even able to tell if something is written in one way or another. Maybe because I am Italian.
Have a Cheetah! by WikiMaster on 2010-12-26 08:03:00 UTC Reply

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.
HOOYAH by Aster Corbett on 2010-12-26 04:22:00 UTC Reply

Just what I wanted for Christmas, a newbie!

In any case. Have this hand-knitted scarf fashioned from the downy pelts of Cute Animal Friends. It is sure to keep you warm while you yiff in hell!
Hello Newbie! by OpinionedAngel on 2010-12-26 01:49:00 UTC Reply

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!
Welcome, fellow user of idiosyncratic variant mixtures! by Becky-of-the-drayni on 2010-12-26 01:48:00 UTC Reply

The somber colours of the tires are easily recognised...

It's traditional to give newbies a gift, so here's mine. *clears throat*

Have a Paranoiac's Friend (tm) Mark VII camera! It runs for over three weeks without recharging and has a complicated shut-off sequence so people can't turn it off*! Now with thumbtack attachment for bugging places, people, and other nouns! Paranoiac's Friend: for the paranoiac in all of us!

(*Including, probably, you. Good luck with that.)

Oh, and Merry Christmas if applicable! Otherwise, let's see...happy belated Solstice, happy very belated Hanukkah, happy early New Year...