Ooh, I have one!

Subject: Ooh, I have one!
Author: Something Blue
Posted on: 2010-12-13 17:04:00 UTC

Sues seducing every pretty guy,
Slashers slashing horribly,
The holiday season is definitely nigh,
That means more work for us unluckily..

Everybody knows that killing all these Christmas!Sues,
Helps to make the canon right.
Mary Sues with their eyes all rainbow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Trojie’s on her way
And all that bad biology is going to pay,
Then every Mary Sue is going to die,
And be thrown off towers to see if they can fly...

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
For Suethors up to ninety-three,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
JUST DON’T PISS OFF THE PPC.

(I'm not really a PPCer, but I used "us" in the fourth line wouldn't sound as good. It's based on the Christmas Song, the "chestnuts roasting" one.)

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PPC Holiday Filk Game! by Neshomeh on 2010-12-04 05:59:00 UTC Reply

It's that most wonderful time of the year, my friends and casual acquaintances! I've hung up the colorful lights and the stockings on my wall, I've spooled up my Mannheim Steamroller and my Robert Shaw and my assorted other festive albums, and I've FINALLY updated the PPC Holiday Songbook. That means it's time for a round of holiday filking!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the idea is this: pick your favorite Christmas/Hanukah/[insert preferred holiday here]/winter song, and write new words to it, with a PPC-flavored twist. There are plenty of examples in the Songbook, of course--but don't worry about using the same tune again. Pick whatever you like, and do however many you feel like doing.

I do have an additional challenge, however. In keeping with our effort this year to celebrate the non-Sue-related aspects of the organization, I'd like to see this year's filks cover a wide range of topics, departments, and general themes. Of course, if you have a really, really great idea for a Sue-slaying song, go for it--but maybe after that you can write one about the Department of Finance, too. {= )

ALSO, I would be exceptionally thrilled if anyone felt like recording some of the filks, either old or new. Keily recently did a couple, which I've now linked from the Songbook (PPC Is Coming to Town and Console Yells, if you want to check them out). I'll try to do one or two myself, but no promises--I rarely like how I sound in a recording. But anyway, the more, the merrier! Go nuts!

To start off the filking, here's my (first?) entry:

Carol of the Recruit
To the tune of "Carol of the Drum/Little Drummer Boy"

Come, they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
Come join the PPC, pa rum pum pum pum
A thousand worlds to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Don't need a Ph.D., pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Only insanity, pa rum pum pum pum,
When you come.

All you agents, pa rum pum pum pum
I'm just a book nerd, too, pa rum pum pum pum
I have no Ph.D., pa rum pum pum pum
Only this Lit degree, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I spellcheck, pa rum pum pum pum,
When I come?

Flowers nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
Agents passed Bleeprin 'round, pa rum pum pum pum
I have a partner now, pa rum pum pum pum
I spork bad 'fic, and how! pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

I gave my sanity, pa rum pum pum pum,
For Fandom.

~Neshomeh

Ooh, I have one! by Something Blue on 2010-12-13 17:04:00 UTC Reply

Sues seducing every pretty guy,
Slashers slashing horribly,
The holiday season is definitely nigh,
That means more work for us unluckily..

Everybody knows that killing all these Christmas!Sues,
Helps to make the canon right.
Mary Sues with their eyes all rainbow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Trojie’s on her way
And all that bad biology is going to pay,
Then every Mary Sue is going to die,
And be thrown off towers to see if they can fly...

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
For Suethors up to ninety-three,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
JUST DON’T PISS OFF THE PPC.

(I'm not really a PPCer, but I used "us" in the fourth line wouldn't sound as good. It's based on the Christmas Song, the "chestnuts roasting" one.)

Yay! by Neshomeh on 2010-12-14 00:52:00 UTC Reply

I like the inclusion of Trojie and the reference to that particular episode in TOS. *g*

In the third stanza, though, I suggest making it "And for that bad biology they're gonna pay." At the moment it sounds like the bad biology will pay off for the badficcer.

The last line, of course, will have everyone joining in for a final rousing unison. ^_^

~Neshomeh, archiving.

That's true. by Something Blue on 2010-12-14 02:20:00 UTC Reply

So, like:
They know that Trojie’s on her way
And for that bad biology they're going to to pay,
Then every Mary Sue is going to die,
And be thrown off towers to see if they can fly...

It has an optional ending.. by Something Blue on 2010-12-14 18:25:00 UTC Reply

of "Just don't piss off the PPC... don't piss off the PPC... just don't piss of the PPC... YAAAAAAAAH! *crunch.*"
:P

Does it also have a title? by Neshomeh on 2010-12-14 21:41:00 UTC Reply

It just occurred to me to ask. ^_^;

Muaha... I wonder what the "crunch" is. Probably best left up to the imagination, eh?

~Neshomeh

*shrugs* by Something Blue on 2010-12-15 02:18:00 UTC Reply

I didn't really think of one..

Typos. Dangit. by Something Blue on 2010-12-13 17:06:00 UTC Reply

(That is, used "us" because "them" wouldn't sound as good.)

We Agents by Sylibane on 2010-12-08 03:04:00 UTC Reply

(To the tune of 'We Three Kings')

We agents of the DMS
Have to fix a Mary Sue’s mess
Weapons loaded, Sue imploded,
Canon can get some rest

O fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that’s right

Born a boy to two human men
Slashers sigh; they’ve done it again
This forever, ceasing never
Will the bad slash please end?

O fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that’s right

From Implausible Crossovers am I
Mixing tales brings craziness nigh
Canon’s homecoming, send Sues running
Sanity’s gone to die

O fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that’s right

Floater am I, a somewhat stoic chap
Have to deal with all kinds of crap
Sueing, slashing, lover bashing
Give the fangirls a slap

O fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that’s right

I work for the Marquis de Sod
Put recruits in couples quite odd
archive writing, Suefic smiting
Send them off with a nod

O fic of horror, fic of fright
Fic with urple shining light
Badfic leading, still proceeding
Get the department that’s right

Awesome. {X D by Neshomeh on 2010-12-08 05:15:00 UTC Reply

I love the last verse in particular. I have no idea how to fit "Implausible Crossovers" into that line, though... it's quite a mouthful! Maybe if you took out the "am" and elided the second "i" in Implausible: "From Implaus'ble Crossovers, I" etc. What do you think?

The rest works well, and "We Three Kings" is one of my favorite carols. {= )

~Neshomeh

Thanks. by Sylibane on 2010-12-09 00:02:00 UTC Reply

That's a good idea (I can sort of fit it).

The first verses had been about Action Departments, so I wanted to do something different, and 'Sod' rhymes with plenty of words...

I love it. :D (nm) by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2010-12-08 03:53:00 UTC Reply

Has anyone taken Carol of the Bells? (nm) by Aeidhryn on 2010-12-07 00:57:00 UTC Reply

Would it matter if they had? by Neshomeh on 2010-12-07 03:10:00 UTC Reply

(Psst: the answer is "no--if you have an idea, go for it, and pretend like you're having fun." ^___^ )

Always good to check. by Aeidhryn on 2010-12-07 12:07:00 UTC Reply

(Psst: thanks ^_^)

"Mary Sue Is Using Magic Again." by Laburnum on 2010-12-04 19:17:00 UTC Reply

(To the tune of Kate Bush's "December Will Be Magic Again".)

Mary Sue is using magic again
Carry weapons on the ice
Try not to slip
A cracked femur
Doesn't feel nice
Mary Sue is using magic again
She's in Mossflow'r, shouldn't have any,
But the Suethors must be contrary

Ooh, drop her down with no parachute
The Mary Sue, she is so beautiful
Until we throw her off the belltower roof
Ooh, soon she will fall
Soon she will fall
Like the snow

Come to make them all love her
(Them all love her)
Until we wake 'em up
Come to sparkle the place up
(Sparkle the place up)
Really screwed it up
So we'll fix up this muck-up
(Fix this muck-up)
Ooh, with a little luck

Mary Sue is using magic again
Light the candle-lights
Make the canon right
On this winter night
Ooh, it's quiet inside
'Cos she's sucked out their minds

Mary Sue is using magic again
Eyes as bright as stars
Planet-sized ego
Her spelling makes us laugh
The brat has got to go now!

Ooh, drop her down with no parachute
The Mary Sue, she is so beautiful
Until we throw her off the belltower roof
Ooh, soon she will fall
Soon she will fall
Like the snow

Come to make them all love her
(Them all love her)
Until we wake 'em up
Come to sparkle the place up
(Sparkle the place up)
Really screwed it up
So we'll fix up this muck-up
(Fix this muck-up)
Ooh, with a little luck

Oh, she's coming to make them all love her
Ooh, and she's coming to sparkle the place up
Ooh, and we're coming to fix up this muck-up.

Whoa. by Neshomeh on 2010-12-04 22:27:00 UTC Reply

I got the YouTube link from your post on deviantART, and that is one twisted little music video. Strange, and yet oddly fitting for a PPC song. Your words work really well. Good job!

~Neshomeh

Thank you! ^_^ by Laburnum on 2010-12-04 22:55:00 UTC Reply

I'm an unashamed Kate Bush fan. Weird music equals awesome.

I was going to do "Please Uncle, Do Get Drunk This Christmas" (from Molly's point of view, hoping for some unsupervised marauding time), but I struggled to find something to scan for the second line.

Agents, Look Out by Tungsten Monk on 2010-12-04 18:11:00 UTC Reply

(Sung to the tune of "People, Look East")

Agents, look out, the console beeps
No time for eating, relaxing, or sleep
Make your blades ready as you're able
Get your drunk partner from under the table
Agents, look out, there's Hell to pay
Sparkly Sue is on the way.

Doctor, oh, Doctor, though you're strong
You'll be a wuss before too long!
Someone is coming to replace you
Coming to upstage and to deface you
Agents, look sharp, and seize the day
Time Lord Sue is on the way.

Gimli, beware! Evil is nigh
Flashing too much breast and thigh
Even in hour when Ring is woken
Aragorn's manly libido she's strokin'
Agents, mount up, into the fray!
Sex-fiend Sue is on the way.

Vimes, keep the Watch watching your back
Hogswatch night's no time to slack!
There is a lady at Death's portal
And we aim to find out if she is mortal
Agents, attack without delay
Godlike Sue is on the way.

Agents, the canon needs our aid
And we can't stop for holidays
String up some tinsel in a hurry
(Good for garrotting a sparkling houri)
Agents, look out, this Christmas Day
Much more work is on the way.

Beautiful :-P (nm) by Beetlefire on 2010-12-04 23:17:00 UTC Reply