Subject: woah.
Author:
Posted on: 2010-11-29 16:12:00 UTC
"'NOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~O!' he shouted as he blew up and bits of berd splattered all over his car which became vernons now because he had left the keys behind and Vernon could steel them and use them to go driving wherever he wanted. Even the sea. Because it was magic."
Best story ever.
And yes, in full capslock.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4834138/1/WhoIsVoldemortsDadTheTalesofVernonDursly
I'm just adding some lines this person wrote so you can see by yourselves.
Note: I couldn't find it nor in claimed or killed badfic on PPC Wiki, that's why I'm showing it. NSFB.
"YOUR VOLDEMONT!" yelled Vernon jumping backwards and stepping on a cat which screamed quite loud and then ran away.
"I AM NOT JUST VOLDEMORT! I AM YOUR….. SON!"
I *knew* there was some reason I was missing you guys in particular.
"Dumbeldore looked at the letter he was writing on his magic typewriter. It said some stuff about really complicated magics and they were too hard for any muggle to understand even like Einstine or Obama or the dude with the wheelecahir."
Hah! Einstein and Obama and the wheelchair...
"CAN YOU SING FOR OLD TIMES SAKE!" yelped Arthur who was keeping it reel on the dancefloor.
keeping it... reel... hahahAHAhah...
thankee :)
Clearly Arthur is into Scottish dancing. It's a fine art form, after all.
"'NOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~O!' he shouted as he blew up and bits of berd splattered all over his car which became vernons now because he had left the keys behind and Vernon could steel them and use them to go driving wherever he wanted. Even the sea. Because it was magic."
Best story ever.
I thought he was a troll, I must read this. On a competly unrelated note, has anyone PPC'd "Light and Dark" yet? I was surprised not to find it on the list of legendary badfic
Wow, the first three paragraphs are basically one big innuendo
Holy elephant dung. That is hilarious.
This is my favourite line by far:
He pulled his wand and pointed it at vernon and a long shooty of white magic strings flew out of the end and landed on some stuff.
So much effort! So much description!
My voldemort? O rly?
My bile fascination forces me to click this link...
Okay... this hurts. No, it HURTS.
This fic is hilariously bad. I kill.
Brave PitViperOfDoom! *claps energetically and then builds a statue of Pit* Tell us when it's done, we all want to behold the death of this badfic!
PitViperOfDoom, you are a brave soul. Kill it. Kill it good, and KILL IT WITH FIRE!
'Tis my duty, friend. And I'm a woman.
Sorry! Godspeed to you Ma'am!
On another note, who are your agents?
I've stared people in the face and still been mistaken for a boy before.
As for my agents, I write for Agents Adder and Deuce, one semi-normal human and one not-at-all-normal human; Mordecai and Kestrel, a Potterverse wizard and Redwall ferret, respectively; and Caleb and Jack, an ornery Twilight vampire and a sentient Hunter from the universe of Left 4 Dead.