Re: Mission up! by
Miah
on 2010-10-22 04:57:00 UTC
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I like these two. That fic made very little sense. It sounds like a good first target. It was kind of weird at first that Jenka kept carrying Chalk around, but then it got to the really funny stage.
Looks good... by
OpinionedAngel
on 2010-10-21 01:09:00 UTC
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I especially like the dynamic between your agents, and am eager to see more of them.
Nice job! by
Sylibane
on 2010-10-20 23:32:00 UTC
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This is decent writing, and clearly isn't a first draft. Creative handling of the bit, too.
It took me a while to figure out Jenka's gender, but that's probably my fault for not reading the introduction.
*Applause*
Re: Mission up! by
doctorlit
on 2010-10-20 21:37:00 UTC
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I like the way your agents dealt with the bit-rapist. Usually, such a character would be killed in a mission, or just disappear with the canon's reassertion. But using the neuralyzer to make him into a normal person is a great idea! It makes sense, too; since a bit doesn't have much personality anyway, there's nothing wrong with changing it.
Very impressive :) by
ObscurumAeterna
on 2010-10-20 20:18:00 UTC
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I don't know the first thing about the canon here, but I like to think I've come to know a well-written Mission when I see one. Considering this was your first, I'd say you've done yourself proud. Your Agents, too, have an entertaining dynamic about them; I'll be sure to keep tabs on them.
Again, very well done.