Subject: 5. The Life I'll Live
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Posted on: 2010-10-12 00:00:00 UTC

Draco Malfoy began his seventh year at Hogwarts wearing a gloomy expression at Slytherin table in the Great Hall.  His parents were in a constant state of tension thanks to the increased activities of the Dark Lord.  Draco was happy to get away from home, where the Dark Lord had been staying.<br>   The absence of Harry Potter and his pair of friends from the Gryffindor table was an additional source of relief.  With them on the run, Draco might even be able to <i>enjoy</i> this last year at school.  All the tables, aside from his own, were obviously missing some of their usual inhabitants.  Draco began scanning the room, seeing what other annoying students he would be spared the company of.<br> It was at his own table that he saw something that made him gasp.  It wasn’t the absence of a face, but the presence of one which had been missing a long time—since Draco’s second year, in fact.  That had been the year Draco and Deanna had admitted they were in love.  Draco hadn’t seen her again after that; and now, here she was again, sitting at the Slytherin table as though she had never been missing at all.<br>   Crabbe and Goyle were too busy eating to have noticed Draco’s gasp, and they paid no attention now as he stood up and walked silently to where Deanna was sitting.  As she turned to him, Draco saw the changes the past four years had inflicted on her.  She was older, of course, taller and with more defined features.  She was also, oddly, far more muscular than the daughter of pure-blood wizards would ever be expected to be.  Deanna’s once pale face was now tan, almost dark.  That face now lit up into a smile as Deanna recognized Draco.<br>“Draco!  I wasn’t sure you would be here!”<br>“Deanna.  Where have you been?”<br>Deanna smiled.  “Well…you won’t believe me.”<br>“Of course!  Of course I will,” Draco said impatiently.<br>“Well…we went to the Arctic.”<br>“…What?”<br>“My family!  We all went to the Arctic during the summer after my second year.  We rented a yacht from a Muggle dealer, and went sailing up to the Arctic.  We went hiking around across the ice, but then we fell through!  There were patterns scrawled into the ice down there, and it looked like goblin!  We thought it might be talking about a treasure, so we memorized what it said as best we could before we tunneled through the ice and back out.  The message said something about Peru, so we got back to the boat and headed for South America.  Another boat showed up on the way, and we thought it would be the Muggle collecting more money for his boat being rented longer, but it was actually Somali pirates!  They were after the treasure, too!  So we had an amazing boat-to-boat duel, with the pirates using guns, and my family using wands!  Mom got shot in the shoulder, but we managed to sink their boat!  We reached the mainland in time to get Mom’s shoulder treated by some “witch doctor” guy, who’s sort of a Muggle that knows about Herbology.  We traded him our snowsuits from the Arctic in exchange for some llamas, which we started riding through the Andes.  We eventually came across an ancient temple, and when we went inside, there were decomposed bodies wearing Nazi uniforms <i>everywhere</i>!  We kept going deeper, and it looked like the Nazis had triggered all the traps, but I almost got caught in one they had missed, and swords came out and cut me—here, on my chin—but we got past them all finally.  In the bottom chamber of the temple, there was a golden statue of a guinea pig.  Dad picked it up, but when he did, a horrible shriek filled the air, and something started clawing at the back wall.  We all ran out, with this huge <i>something</i> following us the whole way.  When we got out, the Muggle boat dealer was there, with a bunch of armed men.  It turns out, he had sent the Somali pirates, and had even suggested we go to the Arctic in the first place hoping we would find that ancient message!  His men captured us and took the golden guinea pig, but they didn’t think to take our wands away, and we managed to escape that night.  We stole our llamas back, and tried to get back to our yacht, but the pirates had already taken it aboard their battleship.  Then the witch doctor reappeared, and said that there were more golden animals like the one we found, and showed us a golden llama statue he had had all along!  He said it was important to fins the rest before the pirates did, and told us to head for Mexico next, to look for the golden chicken!  So we started off on our llamas again, heading north, trying to evade the pirates…”<br>Eventually, Deanna reached the end of her tale.  “…the old witch doctor revealed that <i>he</i> was an alien, too!  Then they all entered the giant spaceship and flew away!”<br>Draco blinked, and looked away.  “So…you’ve been doing drugs for four straight years?”<br>“That too,” Deanna admitted.  She reached across the table, grabbed a poppy-seed muffin, and held it to her nose, inhaling deeply.<br>

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