Subject: Ah.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-05-08 13:28:00 UTC
Well, maybe you could just set up a camera to film it? I mean, you wouldn't be able to get fancy zoomed-in angles, but you could get a recording of it as a play...
Then again, non-existent actors. So.
~DF
Hamlet, set on Skaro
“TO EXTERMINATE OR NOT EXTERMINATE, THAT IS THE QUESTION –”
“No! Stop! Agent Omicron, I told you to stick to the script!”
“BUT THIS IS SET ON SKARO, AND WE HAVE TO MAKE IT AS DALEK AS POSSIBLE.”
“No. Omicron. This bit isn’t about exterminating the Dalek Emperor. It’s about killing yourself, because you just came home from exterminating some other hapless planet to find that your father, the previous Dalek Emperor, has just died and your mother has married your uncle, the new Dalek Emperor –”
“DALEKS HAVE NO CONCEPT OF FAMILY OR MARRIAGE!”
“…I knew we should’ve have set it on Skaro…”
Hamlet, set in the PPC Cafeteria
“It is I, Porklet the Danish! Get out of that grave, Laertea! I loved Ovealia better than you anyway!”
“…For the last time, you tosspot, it’s HAMLET. Not PORKLET. What are you trying to do, turn this into a comedy?”
“I’LL EAT A CROCODILE TO PROVE MY LOVE FOR HER!”
“You are a crocodile.”
Much Ado About Nothing, set in the Department of Intelligence
“Come hither, Officer Rooney. What is it you told me of today that Luisa San Lorenzo was in love with Angus McFarlane?”
“I told you no such thing!”
“Oh come on, play along here Rooney, there’s a good lad! We’re supposed to pretend that they do love each other so that Angus, who’s concealed himself over there, thinks that she likes him, and so acts accordingly, and then we’ll get Penny and Snapshot to talk about Angus being in love with Luisa so that they’ll end up falling in love with each other despite hating each other before –”
“Didn’t you just spoil the entire play?”
“…I knew there was merit in method acting, I knew it!”
Romeo and Juliet, set in a Suefic
“But soft, what urpley-wilver light through yonder Canon breaks? It is the ‘fic, and the Mary Sue is the massive mother-effing black hole!”
“Remind me why you thought it was a good idea to set this in a Suefic again?”
“Because Sues like to reference Romeo and Juliet so often?”
“Arise, foul Sue, and kill the envious canonical lover, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid claim to be far more fair than she.”
“Romeo and Sueliet makes absolutely no sense.”
“Neither does a Suefic.”
“Be not her maid, since Elves don’t have servants; her vestal livery is but sick and green, yet none but fools do wear urple and glose like you do. Cast it off – but not in front of me!”
“You do have to admit that Agent Krisenko is a good Romeo. And Cafeteria Worker Nerys Carpenter is a good Sueliet.”
“But how are we going to prevent the audience from killing her on opening night?”
--
This was the end result of discussions in the Multiverse Monitor's GDoc about theatre troupes in the PPC. What other unfortunate Shakespeare adaptations would the PPC's troupe (which could totally be named A Troupe By Any Other Name) have done?
Midsummer would be fantastic. I could definitely see that.... cast with LotR elves, maybe?
...Okay, so someone already suggested that. Still, it would work.
Oh my god this is brilliant!
I wonder of you could do anything with A Comedy of Errors, or Othello, or The Merchant of Venice, or...anything else by Shakespeare, really.
Merchant of Venice
Take one: "DALEKS DO NOT BLEED! DALEKS ARE SUPREME!"
(Director) "Ok, ok...maybe we should rethink the casting."
Take two: "This line is illogical. While Vulcans do bleed upon...pricking, if I am to deliver this line to a human, it will lose all meaning. We do not bleed the same blood."
(Director) "Ok, I'll take that into account. Maybe we should try casting a human in the role of Shylock?"
Take three: (insane agent waving a knife) "I want my pound of flesh! Gimme my pound of flesh!"
(Director) "Look, can you at least pretend to speak in Shakespearian English?"
(pause)
(The agent) "I wantest my poundeth of flesh! Eth! Givest me thou my poundeth of flesheth! Etheth!"
(Director) "Flaming Denethor..."
(Agent) "What? I had a Sue speak like that on my last mission."
Take four: (An agent, presumably) "Eeeee, you're doing a play with Sherlock in it! Can I play him? Please? Please? Please??"
(Director) "Sorry, Sherlock's not in this."
(Agent) "But I read the script! He's totally in it. You're lying!"
(Director) "No, I'm not. The character's name is Shylock, not Sherlock."
(Agent) "...are you sure it's not just an accidental mini-Hound?"
(Director) "Look, Conan Doyle lived several hundred years after Shakespeare did. If anything, Sherlock would be a mini-Caliban."
(Agent) "HOW DARE YOU INSULT SHERLOCK??" *stabs*
(Director) *dodges* "Security! Can I get Security over here?"
(Aaaand...scene!)
--
Yup.
I wish I remembered more lines from the play, but I read it something like five years ago, so...most of what stuck in my head was about the pound of flesh and, of course, the famous 'If you prick us, do we not bleed?' line. Hope this amused in spite of its brevity.
~DF
We should totally do Macbeth, set in Middle Earth or something.
Therefore Frodo must be Lady M------- if that happens.
And it will, because we've made it so via Multiverse Monitor.
Lily, this is perfect. Can you do Julius Caesar, too?
'Romeo and Sueliet'. Will never stop laughing.
Also, I completely support the theater group's name.
~DF
Discussions on the GDoc kind of implies that people have been invited already. I haven't even got an invitation mail.
We were wondering why you haven't shown up yet D:
Send me your email again, if you'd like.
kokosnuss [underscore] nc [dash] ppc [at] yahoo [dot] de
If not, shoot me an email at the above address.
And you should totally do Midsummer... somewhere. I don't know where.
Oh, maybe in Valinor? Or Angband, for a contrast? Or both? Or hmmm, maybe the forest could be Lothlórien... nah, that'd make too much sense.
-Aila
...It could be set in Doriath, with Beren as Lysander and Lúthien as Hermia and Daeron as Demetrius and a random Elf-maid as Helena and Melian as Titania and Thingol as Oberon and... I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry.
-Aila
... of my plans for a location-specific three-actor interpretation of the Lay of Leithian up a forested ravine. If it weren't for that pesky copyright thing, it could totally work...
hS
...I think you could get away with it. I'm pretty sure there's a law about that somewhere.
Or maybe if you quoted pieces and summarized others?
~DF
... it'd be a play, not the poem itself, so there's no direct quoting involved. But given the nature of site-specific performances, it'd need an audience, and that's verging into copyright territory.
The other option is filming it... but that would need a cameraman in addition to the non-existant actors, so...
hS
I'm sorry, all that's coming into my head (beyond 'that would be really pretty') is, who would play Bottom? And his friends?
~DF
Maybe some of the giant spiders from the Ered Gorgoroth? That's all I can think of-- wait, of course! The Haladrim! They're perfect!
-Aila
You know, there's something funny (funnier) about this when you think of the Gilbert & Sullivan in the PPC story I started about a month ago...and never really mentioned...hm. Then again, that was more of a sort of take on the PPC Musical story, while this is literally the PPC performing Shakespeare's plays...
~DF
What is this Gilbert and Sullivan you speak of? I am rather oblivious, so my ignorance comes as no surprise. To me at least.
-Aila
Ok, ok, sorry. I know Gilbert & Sullivan wasn't a part of everyone else's childhood like it was of mine; same with Shakespeare. I shouldn't assume that everyone automatically knows G & S.
Gilbert & Sullivan were a writer and composer who collaborated famously in the Victorian Era. They wrote amazing operas, among the Iolanthe (which has been performed by the PPC, according to one of Tawaki's missions), Pirates of Penzance, HMS Pinafore, The Mikado, and...hm, what's another well-known one...actually, those may be the best-known ones. They often satirized political figures, and sometimes situations, as well as society and a lot of other things. They were very well-known, and very well-liked, and, actually, still are today, albeit in a rather smaller circle than they had in the Victorian Era (at least, that's what it seems like. If someone wants to prove me wrong, they're quite welcome to).
Basically, I love them. They're a large part of my childhood--my grandmother sings in operas and musicals, including G&S (and My Fair Lady, I got to see that one, it was awesome), and my parents bought some of the music (and my grandmother sent more of the music) and they also bought me a wonderful book called The Complete Annotated Gilbert & Sullivan, which is wonderful and has all sorts of notes on their process, the critiques they received, what they were satirizing, and various performance gags. It's a really great book :)
Does that help?
~DF
I'm generally oblivious to just about everything that isn't a book or a fic I've read, so....
They sound very interesting indeed!
-Aila
And I understand :)
They are! They've also got great dramatic and comedic scenes, which I love.
~DF
Erm.....that is to say Macbeth. I'm a theater girl at heart, so I hate saying it out loud- bad luck and all. The world is a stage!
Hm.....I have no idea where it would be set though. Pandora?
Oh my God, this was hilarious.
Do you have any more of these lying around? 'Cause that would be awesome, if there were.
Take a play, stick it somewhere where only the PPC would think of sticking it, and watch the fireworks. :'D
This should be the topic of the fourth cover story of the next Multiverse Monitor.
KG and I have decided that A Troupe By Any Other Name is going to show up next issue, so Thane Krios is still on. Could you give us an indication of where you are in terms of that article?
It's been hectic. Thankfully, I go on break now, so I should be able to draw it up. When do you want it?
We've already got a review of the theatre adaptation of "The Glorious Revolution" in place of the centre advert. It'd be a hilarious article, but are you sure you wanna give up the interview?
"The Glorious Revolution" is a stage adaptation of Terry Pratchett's "Night Watch", in honour of the 25th of May.