Have a sonic screwdriver and a bag of jelly babies, please use responsibly!

Have a box of assorted chocolates.

Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Or to have my blessings, or- whatever that means.

Have some Skör bars. I would give you a little plastique for your agents but my stash is running out fast. Remind me later, and I'll get something awesome to make up for it.

And, if you were wondering, everyone gets tall ships and plovers, and plovers are a cute kind of bird.

Was your name taken from Shakespeare? I love Midsummer Night's dream. The version with Christian Bale and the mudfight was hilarious. Who knew Puck could still be Puck half-bald?
Anyways, you'll soon notice that a good deal of important stuff, once dealt with, will dissolve into a lot of nattering on. Which just happens to be what I'm doing.

Have a pineapple. Even if you don't plan on venturing into badfic any time soon, it's still good for self-defense. And sustenance. Almost forgot about that. Enjoy your stay!

Have a panda that eats, shoots and leaves! I'm sure he will fit in quite nicely with you. :D

Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

Have a gun. Always useful, with those Sues.

Have a Peregrine Falcon. Don't feed it any Sue or CAF meat. Ordinary fish would do.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw a BBQ party.

Glad to see I'm no longer the newest of the new :)

Here, have a weapon of your choice and some sushi. One for killing Sues, the other one for personal enjoyment, although their purposes probably shouldn't be mixed up.

This will teach me to check the board for newbie posts when there's someone I don't recognize in the channel.

Hallo, Prospero, nice to meet you, here's a leash-and-harness set that's flame-retardant and approximately brain-sized. :D Hope I didn't scare you.

Here, have an organic, gluten-free, low-glycemic Mocha Cupcake! They're delicious! and don't taste like they're any of the above. Well, except for the Mocha Cupcake thing... *hands you one*

Also, please, take a Pidgin. They work as an emergency Universal Translator (Though they do tend to translate everything to Fanbrat, so use with care), and can be bribed to carry messages (Again, only in Fanbrat, so only use when absolutely necessary...).

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this bucket of distractingly shiny objects as a welcoming gift.

Welcome to the Board. I hereby grant you the standard Newbie Welcome basket and your very own Frying Pan of DOOM^tm. Use it wisely.

Have an assortment of pointy things including, but not limited to, shortswords, anime hair, caltrops and pencils.

You may have any phaser or disruptor you can balance on your nose.

*does Vulcan salute, then hands you a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object* Glad to have you here, o nitpicky one. :D

Welcome, new friend! have a magical storm in a a bottle. You can shake it up all you like; just don't open it!

Welcome to the Board! Please deposit ypur sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* Also, here's an apple.

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Watch the turtle. Hail the turtle. Worship the turtle. Beware the turtle.

Also, beware of completely pointless and random things that happen around here fairly constantly.

Here for your benefit are what we have generally come to refer to as The PPC Links; a collection of articles and other useful URLs that we politely ask every newbie to read, as they really do contain Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC


Nice to meet you!

Greetings, newbie! Welcome to the PPC community! Just be careful around here, because you may never know what may lurk around here (no offence to anybody). Anyway, just get yourself acquainted around here, so we may get to know you better, and who knows? If your interest in writing PPC missions has fully bloomed until then, then you may or may not need to spend more time here before it's time for permission!

Anyway, we hope that you enjoy your visit here!

You may be blinded if you're not careful, so don't point it at yourself or any living thing. This sucker can blast a hole through solid rock!