Ok, this next badfic is "LOVE, BULLETS AND IMMORTALITY." (Rated M) The title is in all caps and it's also one of the few places the author uses punctuation

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5989126/1/LOVEBULLETSAND_IMMORTALITY

Basically Amy and Blaze want sonic so they hire a Stu named Connor ("a wanted assassin and bounty hunter") to muder the hypotenuse (shadow). Connor is immortal, which I think is the most retarded gimmick for an assassin to have because makes life as a hire killer about as difficult as life as an heiress.

Other lameness:

Twirls a pistol "Like Ocelot from MGS3." I guess if god wanted a better description he would have miracled it into the author's word processor.

Amy and Blaze imagine Sonic's "masculine abs and muscled legs." Sonic has neither.

In exchange for killing Shadow and Kidnapping Sonic, Blaze and Amy will pay Connor 50000 euros (not rings, not mobians, euros) and two slaves, who later turn out to be Fiona and Rouge. Connor's opening fee is NFSW and reads as if it was written by Ben 'Yahtzee' Crosshaw. On second thought, there is one exclamation point. Also, there's a rather embarrassing anatomical error.

And that's just the first chapter of 30.