This is a wonderful idea. Even if Aster kind of is not yet an agent, she, too, can be comical and dish out a recipie or two.
Aster Corbett's Ragin' Renagade Salmon Croquettes
Things you need to assemble:
1) A can of salmon. That's right. Canned. Not fresh. Canned salmon can be found on World One, but I suppose you can substitute similar canned fish. Just don't pick something too fatty or weird or full of people it ate. And make sure there are no dolphins or other wildlife harmed in the production of the canned seameat.
2)Breadcrumbs. Panko breadcrumbs are best, so go hit someone and take their panko or something. If not, well, I guess you could use something else. But you're a wimp.
3) A small onion.
4) Oil for your pan, for pete's sake.
5) One Egg (avian periods courtesy of a World 1 chicken are preferable, but any bird egg of similar size will do)
6) Anything you want to flavor the salmon with, optional. (Code for: salt plus whatever is lying around)
7) Appropriate utensils. Frying pan, spatula, cutting board, can opener, knife, chopping bowl. Etc.
Directions:
1) Open can of salmon. Inside should be an articulated chunk of salmon, already cooked. Yes, that's right-- it's pre-cooked with the head and fins cut off. But not de-boned. Empty the can, with ALL of the juice, into your cutting bowl. I use a wooden bowl that looks silly as a hat. Go through the salmon with a fork and pick out all of the biggest bones: the vertebra, the big ribs. There will always be little stringy things in the meat. That is just how salmon works and they vanish when chopped. Also, there might be a skin with scales. It's not important to eliminate all of the skin (actually, it has tasty fat in it) but if this is the case, DO get rid of the scales. They'll be small and transluscent.
2) The small onion should be peeled and chopped, geez. Little shreds the size of what you get when you punch holes in paper with a hole punch, maybe a little shredder. Maybe like, what you get when you feed a Mary Sue into a jet intake...
3) Mix the chopped onions with the dissected canned salmon. Then, crack the egg into the bowl-- this will help your little nuggets stick together. Finally, add some breadcrumbs to help hold the egg and the delicious salmon juice, but not too much. Then, I use a nifty ulu knife I stole from an eskimo to chop everything together in the bowl until it's mixed. I guess you can take two normal knives and cross-chop them that way, too. If you haven't mugged an eskimo lately.
4) Add whatever you want to flavor the little fish nuggets with now. I usually just add some salt, but if you have any leftover herbs or seasonings you like on salmon, feel free to mix them in.
5) You should already have your frying pan hot and oiled. Dummy.
6) Time to get dirty. Use your (CLEAN!) hands to take scoops of fish a little smaller than a (non '80s) cell-phone and press and roll your fish goop into little oblong nuggets-- they should be a bit smaller than an egg each. If the fish goop is too sticky or gloppy to hold, mix in more breadcrumbs. Roll these little nuggets in yet more breadcrumbs and then toss them as you finish forming them into your sizzlin' frying pan.
7) Multitask! You agent types should be good at that! Keep making your little nuggets and shuffle the ones around in the pan with a fork or something to make sure they get all crisp and delicious golden-brown on all sides. Keep an eye on them. When one is done, put it on a plate covered with paper towel to sit. Eventually, all of them will be cooked and there will be no more fish glop to make into nuggets.
8) Eat them! You can serve them as a side for spaghetti instead of italian sausages or something if you want I guess. Just eat some salad or vegtables too-- as quick and easy as these are... they're still fried! You fatso!
