I got a ting for ya. Since dey won't let me back in da cafeteria, I gotta do all my cookin' by myself. So here be one'a my favorite recipes.

Agent Barid's Voodoo Chicken Pizza

1-2 chicken breasts (preferably from an Ancona chicken dat has been sacrificed in an appropriate Voodoo ritual)
1 prepared Dwarven flat-bread (World 1 pizza crust will do in a pinch)
2 strips'a caribou bacon (World 1 pork bacon works)
1/2 cup'a pineapple (chunks if ya can get it, crushed if ya can't
2 cups of shredded Mozzerella cheese
Barbecue sauce to taste

1) Cook ya chicken in any way ya like. I prefer ta boil it in a pot wit' herbs and spices.
2) cut up da bacon inta small pieces and fry it in a pan
3) Put ya sauce on da Dwarf flat-bread, leavin' an inch 'round da outside so ya can hold it. Make it as t'ick as ya like.
4) Shred ya chicken and put it down on top'a da sauce.
5) Put all da cheese on top'a da chicken
6) Put da bacon and da pineapple down on da cheese.
7) Stick da flat-bread on a flat stone and put it over da fire for 8-10 minutes (Cookie sheet and an oven at 450 degrees will work instead of a rock and a fire)
8) Slice up and consume

This is a wonderful idea. Even if Aster kind of is not yet an agent, she, too, can be comical and dish out a recipie or two.

Aster Corbett's Ragin' Renagade Salmon Croquettes

Things you need to assemble:

1) A can of salmon. That's right. Canned. Not fresh. Canned salmon can be found on World One, but I suppose you can substitute similar canned fish. Just don't pick something too fatty or weird or full of people it ate. And make sure there are no dolphins or other wildlife harmed in the production of the canned seameat.
2)Breadcrumbs. Panko breadcrumbs are best, so go hit someone and take their panko or something. If not, well, I guess you could use something else. But you're a wimp.
3) A small onion.
4) Oil for your pan, for pete's sake.
5) One Egg (avian periods courtesy of a World 1 chicken are preferable, but any bird egg of similar size will do)
6) Anything you want to flavor the salmon with, optional. (Code for: salt plus whatever is lying around)
7) Appropriate utensils. Frying pan, spatula, cutting board, can opener, knife, chopping bowl. Etc.

Directions:

1) Open can of salmon. Inside should be an articulated chunk of salmon, already cooked. Yes, that's right-- it's pre-cooked with the head and fins cut off. But not de-boned. Empty the can, with ALL of the juice, into your cutting bowl. I use a wooden bowl that looks silly as a hat. Go through the salmon with a fork and pick out all of the biggest bones: the vertebra, the big ribs. There will always be little stringy things in the meat. That is just how salmon works and they vanish when chopped. Also, there might be a skin with scales. It's not important to eliminate all of the skin (actually, it has tasty fat in it) but if this is the case, DO get rid of the scales. They'll be small and transluscent.

2) The small onion should be peeled and chopped, geez. Little shreds the size of what you get when you punch holes in paper with a hole punch, maybe a little shredder. Maybe like, what you get when you feed a Mary Sue into a jet intake...

3) Mix the chopped onions with the dissected canned salmon. Then, crack the egg into the bowl-- this will help your little nuggets stick together. Finally, add some breadcrumbs to help hold the egg and the delicious salmon juice, but not too much. Then, I use a nifty ulu knife I stole from an eskimo to chop everything together in the bowl until it's mixed. I guess you can take two normal knives and cross-chop them that way, too. If you haven't mugged an eskimo lately.

4) Add whatever you want to flavor the little fish nuggets with now. I usually just add some salt, but if you have any leftover herbs or seasonings you like on salmon, feel free to mix them in.

5) You should already have your frying pan hot and oiled. Dummy.

6) Time to get dirty. Use your (CLEAN!) hands to take scoops of fish a little smaller than a (non '80s) cell-phone and press and roll your fish goop into little oblong nuggets-- they should be a bit smaller than an egg each. If the fish goop is too sticky or gloppy to hold, mix in more breadcrumbs. Roll these little nuggets in yet more breadcrumbs and then toss them as you finish forming them into your sizzlin' frying pan.

7) Multitask! You agent types should be good at that! Keep making your little nuggets and shuffle the ones around in the pan with a fork or something to make sure they get all crisp and delicious golden-brown on all sides. Keep an eye on them. When one is done, put it on a plate covered with paper towel to sit. Eventually, all of them will be cooked and there will be no more fish glop to make into nuggets.

8) Eat them! You can serve them as a side for spaghetti instead of italian sausages or something if you want I guess. Just eat some salad or vegtables too-- as quick and easy as these are... they're still fried! You fatso!

The original recipe calls for World 1 watershrimp, but other small crustaceans can be easily substituted.

Agent Riddick's Shrimp Sauce

1 lb fresh watershrimp
1/4 lb butter
1 tsp flour
1 glass water
Splash of milk
Pepper and salt (to taste)

1. Peel and dice the watershrimp and boil until they turn pink.

2. Meanwhile, mix the other ingredients in a saucepan and simmer until the mixture thickens.

3. Drain off the watershrimp and add them to the sauce.

This recipe is excellent on fish and most other meats. Local herbs and spices can be added as available.

I'll have a go at the "etc." category. {= )

Agent Derik's Ersatz Klah

If you're unfamiliar, klah is a beverage brewed from the bark of the Pernese klah tree, and is the best drink ever invented. However, if you can't get the real thing, this is a decent substitute.

You'll need:

Your favorite mug.

Enough boiling water to fill it 1/2- to 3/4-full, depending on your preference.
Enough milk to fill it the rest of the way.

1 heaping tablespoon of Ghirardelli's Sweet Ground Chocolate and Cocoa mix. Substitute lesser chocolate powders at your own risk.
1/2 tsp. instant coffee granules. Adjust per strength of your instant coffee and your preference.
A generous dash of cinnamon.
A pinch of nutmeg.

Load dry ingredients into your mug. Add boiling water and stir. When everything is dissolved, add milk. Imagine you're back in the Weyr and enjoy.

If you prefer, you can substitute the milk for soy milk, rice milk, etc., or skip it entirely. You can also spike it with your favorite alcoholic beverage for a little extra kick on really tough days.

Agent Ross's Miso Remedy

Because agents get sick, too. And this one has the bonus of being able to be cooked on the heat-exhaust port of ones console! Or, you know, the Microwave if on vacation to World 1. Or over a stove if you happen to have one and a pot to cook in....

2 tablespoons Miso Paste (Preferably organic, if you can manage it, because non-organic soy really should be avoided)

1.5 cups water

4 large garlic cloves, squidged. (Technical term. Yup.)

Bonito flakes, optional.

~~~~

Place all ingredients into your favourite mug, or a small saucepan if working on a stove, and heat until hot enough. This varies from individual to individual. Stir until all the miso is dissolved. Drink. Smile.

Agent Keaton's Chocolate-Peanut Butter-Oatmeal Cookies

Ingredients

1/4 cup applesauce
1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla (Mexican vanilla is preferred, but do not, under any circumstances, use that fake vanilla stuff)
1/4 cup oats
1/4 cup sugar (Sugar substitutes may be, erm, substituted if desired. Splenda is recommended)
3 Tbsp baking cocoa powder
Dash of Kosher Salt (If desired)

Steps

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
2. Combine ingredients and drop by tablespoons on cookie sheet.
3. Bake for 8 minutes.
4. Sprinkle Kosher Salt over top if desired for added taste and pretty-looking cookies
5. Let cool.
6. Enjoy.

Makes 1 dozen cookies

Notes: These cookies are cakey and stay that way. They also tend to crumble after cooling, so be warned. You might want to experiment with the amount of peanut butter you put in, as it tends to be kind of overwhelming. If you do decrease the peanut butter, make sure to increase the amount of oats or add your favorite honey in order to keep the cookies together.

This is a very simple recipe which can be made out of stuff off the shelf--exactly the kind of thing this agent would be able to do. XD

Agent Suicide's Lemon-Pepper Chicken

App. 1 1/4 pounds frozen boneless chicken (four thick breast pieces)
1 bottle randomly-chosen lemon-pepper marinade (or if you wanna get fancy, use the recipe at http://southernfood.about.com/od/bbqsaucemarinade/r/blbb288.htm .)
Few tablespoons olive oil (to taste)


1. Thaw the chicken. Set it, still wrapped in plastic, in a bowl of cold water for about the length of one standard Spartan shield drill. (That's three to six hours for you civilians.)
2. Slice each chicken breast in half lengthwise, creating thinner fillets. Agent Suicide recommends using a small machete or a WW2-era trench knife, but any good chef's knife will do if you really must.
3. Put the fillets in a bowl and cover with the marinade. Leave to set in the fridge overnight, preferably under guard to prevent delicious chicken theft. (Spartan gentleman-rankers or devoted squires only for the guard. Achaean and Thessalonian mercenaries are too prone to leftovers theft.)
4. Relieve the guards from their posts and remove the bowl from the refrigerator.
5. Prepare a skillet by greasing it with a few spoonfuls of olive oil. Any skillet may be used, but Agent Suicide is a firm believer in good old-fashioned, just-like-grandma-used-to-break-heads cast iron.
6. Be careful not to heat the skillet too quickly, or your chicken will start spitting fat and smoke all over the place. Suicide recommends a good "medium" heat and a little Scotch to liven up your next half-hour of standing at the stove.
7. Place two or three fillets in the pan, turning with a fork when they begin to brown. Slicing them down the middle is also helpful to make sure the chicken cooks thoroughly. Do not pour any of the used marinade into the pan, unless you like cleaning little bits of sticky brown crust out of everything. (If you do, Agent Suicide is not judging you. After living with Spartans, nothing surprises him.)
8. Cook until well-done, or however you like it.
9. Caution! Pan will be extremely hot, greasy, and possibly smoky when you finish it. Residual grease may be poured down the throat of any captured Sues--or, if you're boring, you can pour it into a tin can and put it in the freezer. (This makes it much easier to collect and dispose of a great deal of residual grease, but has no added advantage of shrieking and flailing.)
10. Enjoy your chicken.
11. Glare at the console, which goes off approximately 30 seconds into step 10.
12. Promise yourself you'll get another job tomorrow.