I don't Card Captor Sakura, but I like your agents. "Can I eat her now?" Ha!

Sorry, I can't give you much help otherwise- I don't know anything about Card Captor Sakura

Yup, I still think it was a good idea. You already know it still needs work, so I won't go into that. I liked the parts with Corolla getting accidentally smushed (though I'm glad she's okay!), and with the different take on Sue tactics. {= )

~Neshomeh

Looks good so far! I'm actually quite interested to see more of these two.

OK, let's see.

I liked the idea of a new Sue species that pushes canon to the background rather than outright Sueing it. There's definitely good fanfiction to be had in the idea of "borrowing the world, and not the characters" (like the way you might write a story about an OC who lived in Minas Tirith during the Battle of Pelennor Fields, and give the Fellowship cameos)... but this wasn't it. This was, as far as I can tell from your mission, not just borrowing the world but deliberately making the main characters unimportant in their own canon--rather an insidious sort of attack, I think.

Anyhow, you're right about it needing a beta; you've got typos in there still. I think a description of the RC and other locations would be good, too, so we know what the setting looks like.

Yay for first missions! I swear I'm going to write my first one sooner or later, really I am...