Subject: Zzzzz...no, not helping.
Author:
Posted on: 2010-08-04 11:48:00 UTC
*singing* He shees you when you're shleeping, he knowsh when you're awake, his name ish Edward Cullen, so get ready to be raped...
I'm invishible to dragons. Yeah, invishible.
Oh damnit, the dragon ate my equipment. No Portalsh here...
Hey,
Just dropping a line to say 'hi' to all the experienced boarders here and to ask you to treat me kindly as I'm new to the PPC-verse. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
Makayla x
Fair winds!
Thank you ^__^
Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's a stupid sound effect. It is "BAKA BAKA BAKA". Use it well.
Err... there's not much of it left I'm afraid *retrieves a tatty hessian pouch from somewhere inside her cloak. You hear dull clinking sounds as she slips her hand inside, curls her fist around the contents and presents it to you. Short, thin fingers unfurl and, nestled in the palm of her hand, three chipped and scruffy marbles are unveiled*
I'm sure it will come in massively handy, thank you very much ^^ x
Have a mini mallorn tree.
Hopefully it will last longer than my last bonsai lol, I am terribly woeful at plants
Welcome to PPC. Here is a cookie - eat it within 2-3 days for maximum tasty-ness. =P
Haha no need to worry about sell-by-dates when it comes to cookies, they're not around long enough. My mouth does magic tricks you see ;)
Thank you muchly ^^
Welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome - it's nice to meet you.
I'm going to dive right in and hand over The Links, which are traditionally given to all newbies along with our assortment of odd and oft-useless gifts, but which seem to have been forgotten lately.
The Link, if you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:
* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.
The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board
The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.
And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC
Now that that's over, welcome! It's lovely to meet you, and don't worry - we don't bite. I look forward to getting to know you :)
Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here!
Ooooh! Links are good, they keep me entertained when I should be doing boring RL things like work....
I actually found the boards through PPC Wiki, it's how I've slowly been gaining knowledge about the whole thing. Slowly- its a big Wiki XD
Thank you for the Newbie initiation help ^^ I promise in turn also not to bite and present you with some of the many lembas I've managed to accumulate in my brief stay here.
People besides Sedri and me can give the links. If you come upon a newbie intro and there are no links yet, it would be very helpful if you were to provide them. 'Cause, you know, sometimes we're not here. But the links are still very helpful and should be given.
~Neshomeh
at one time somebody claimed giving links was their official newbie gift and got rather upset when others did it, which may have put a good few people off trying. But point taken, and I'm hopeful we'll see other people handing them out in future.
I thought it was a good-humoured jibe. But this still being a text-only way of communicating, intonation can always be misinterpreted.
I don't even recall who it was now, but I do know they got quite annoyed over it, because I remember being quite surprised that they got so snappy over it. But never mind; issue over with, moving on. :)
Hi, I'm Makari Crow. Here, have a fire-retardant leash-and-harness set! Fits most brains. :)
I'm late to the party, as per usual, but I do hope you'll enjoy yourself here. ^^
Ooooh! The many uses......
Don't worry there's another lembas here to keep the party going for days, plus a whole crate of elvish wine that "mysteriously appeared in my room the other day, through no fault of my own"
Thank you for the welcome! ^^
Have a panda that eats, shoots and leaves.
Thank you, I trust he is trained to shoot all comma fritterers, apostrophe abusers and semi-colon neglecters (among other unsavoury characters) on sight?
Just be careful to not be in his line of fire, but I'm sure you're aware of that. XD
Ah yes, I heard pandas can be a little indiscriminate when they're excited
I don't know if I've done this before, Gen -- I probably have -- but I need to excitedly glomp you now.
Awesome.
Lovely to meet you, Makayla! Greetings, hail and well met, elen sila lumenn omentielvo, and several other similar phrases. I hereby present you with a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. Use them well in your defence of all things canonical.
Looking forwards to getting to know you too! :D
(Also, don't worry too much about the online/RL names thing; I've been using my real name for a couple of years here now and no crazy internet people have shown up at my door yet. :P )
Mae govannen Cassie,
I always did like to meet people by starlight, gives such an air of mystery ;)
Great! Ammo for by home-made Defence Against the Dark Arts of Sue slingshot. I would put on in now in readiness for attack but where a boy scout may know to be prepared, the PPCer nows that being prepared just invites things to go terribly, terribly wrong- so say the Laws of Narrative Comedy.
Perhaps we could go for cyber coffee sometime lol.
(Haha thank you, that actually relieves me quite a lot!)
Sometimes being Crazy Prepared helps! And always having something handy to smack the Sue/spambot/what-have-you is generally a good idea.
Cyber coffee... mmm, can we have cyber hot chocolate too? :D
(Yeah, the only crazy internet people I've met, we all agreed to it first and met somewhere far, far away. XD)
Hmm, I do keep my sligshot around, and Gen gifted me with a nice shooting Panda so I guess kind of set so far, certainly with the 'crazy' part of prepared XD
Oooh even better, with cyber cream, chocolate sprinkles and marshmallows?
Haha yeah, I went to Paris to meet my internet crazies ^__^!
Hello! Here's a Frying Pan of Doomtm and a large supply of Bleeprin, just in case.
Oh awesome! if I ever end up in the LOTR universe I'll have ask Sam to sign it for me ^____^ Frying pans are always handy to have- multi-purpose!
You are a star, I was just starting to run out of my supply...
xxx
Hey Makayla! Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.
So, do you like cheese?
Hey Silikat,
I LOVE CATS!!! *snuggles, little ginger cat who glares at me balefully* You'll fit in very nicely with Laurellin, Lady Nienna, and Tara don't worry ^^ I shall name you Culleth ^_^ *cat desperately struggles to get away from crazy person*
Aww the quintessential question to one's character. Mais oui, cheese is luuuuuuuuuuurvely x
You like cheese and cats? Ladies and gentlemen, my new best friend, right here!
Haha I adore cats- hence my getting-carried-away reaction to your earlier gift XD and cheese, well, everyone knows that almost everything tastes better with cheese. Even cake!
Woot! We must drink to celebrate this fact! Elven wine?
...as I have been in the Oblivion of No Internet for a week. I wouldn't reply, but I didn't want you to hate me =(
*swigs Eleven wine*
I couldn't possible hate someone who is going through such a horrible thing.
I propose a toast to you.
*swigs wine along with you*
*slurs* Hey, didya know the Oblivion ish alsho known as Scotland? *nod* I see Sunflowers...
*faint*
Gosh! N'one eeeever told me that!
Sunflowersh? Sunflowers! It'sh the SO! Quick, we need t' shcram!
*notices that her drinking partner is unconcious*
Oh crap.
Oh crap indeed, Miss Makayla
Shunflowersh...zzz...run, Makayla, run...zzz...bishcuits...zzz
The Sunflowers see everything...
Can't run. My legsh have stopped working. Damn legsh.
...Ish it jusht me or do the Sunflowersh seem to be wearing kiltsh? *remembers Silikat is still unconcious* Oi! Oi! Wake up, we aaaare going frough a... a... crishiss here! *remembers the old packet of biscuits in her bag and yanks them out to waft them under Silikat's nose*
Bishcuits? Here? Yum...
Crap! Shunflowersh! Wait, kilts? Do flowersh even wear clothes?
Nom nom nom bishcuits...
Ugh, my head. Got any ashpirin?
You can really eat shome biscuitsh! That was the fastesht I've ever sheen a packet go.
I don't know, but I sure I shaw kiltsh! Maybe they were from Oblivion, maybe they've come to take ush back with them!
Ashpirin, ashpirin... *rifles through bag* Damn, I think I gave my lasht one to the man with the golden lab I shaw in that cocktail bar.... oh, how about shome 'air of t'dog? *pulls out a bottle of tequila and some lemons*
Vitamin Shee- veeeeryy good for hangoversh, ushe it all the time!
No, no helpy.
I like the biscuitsh! Biscuitsh...I love biscuitsh...they're my friendsh...
Hey, ish that Pink Stuff? Why don't I drink thish shtuff...?
You'rf meamph *takes lemon out of her mouth* At leasht the Shunflowers have gone. Yella', brown and green tartan- not a good combination. Kind a pukey looking... *a wave of nausea hits at the thought and she shoves the lemon back in her mouth*
Jzhey were my lash' packe'. Gonna 'ave t' ge' shome more now. Ish jzhere a shop round 'ere?
*moves the bottle closer to you* whasha talkin' 'bou? yer drinkin' i' now. *Takes lemon out of her mouth to down another mouthful* It'sh good stuff!
*drinks* Why do I feel like I'm gonna regret that?
Ugh, pukey looking Shunflowersh. Not good. Extremely very not good. *hic*
Shop? Ha! You finds shop, you is veeeeery lucky!
Shomething... something... it'sh on the tip of my tongue I'm sure... hang...hangman? Hangar? Hang...over! Hangover!
...oh crap.
Really not. Fankfully they sheem to 'ave run away! *does runnign motions with her fingers and manages to over balance herself) Oof! Oh, I'm lying down...
Shame thish ishn't Liquid Luck! *takes another swig* damn, why'sh it got to be sho hard to find anything round 'ere?
HANGOVER! WOOO! ...oh wait, that's not a good thing.
You on floor? Why you on floor?
Liquid Luck? Felix...wish I had some of that. *sob*
No, no, not good... I'm not feeling sho good- hair of the dog ish not a good idea. Nothing is good, it's all bad, bad, bad. Damn it! You got any Purple shtuff?
I not sure- oh, rhyming... hmm, the world doesn't shpin sho bad from down here. You should try it.
We need to raid the Potter-verse! Felix and Purple Stuff! They could be ours!
No Purple Stuff...damn.
*joins you on floor* Na, the ceiling's still shpinning. Pretty spinning...
We must do this! Open a *hic* Portal, Makayla, I'm goin' in!
Not so fast. drunkards.
Oh bugger...
Really, I fought it wash kind of going shide to shide... rock-a-bye BAby on A TREEtop! *is hit over the head for making an appaling racket* Shorry...
Let me just get my- oh. Shilikat, the Shunflowers are back...
And I have some friends from the DIA who have come to help me put you back where you belong
Nooo! *makes a desperate grab for her Remote Activator. Pushes random buttons in a panic and the blue, swirling portal appears. Grabs Silikat and rolls them through, and manages to close the portal behind them.* Erm... shoooooo, where are we?
Why ish everything croshed out?
Where are we?
Why ish that dragon about to eat you?
What the hell ish Edward Cullen doing here?!?
*running away from the dragon* OH GOD! Not the (hic) shparkley vampiresh! I want the Shunflowersh back, even the pukey onesh! All I wanted was shome Purple Stuff.
Hey, why doesn't thish dragon want to eat you too? Look dragon- there's a cow, big cow, tasty cow- much tastier than silly humansh with bad diiiiieeeeeeet! *runs towards random, grazing cattle, unfortunately they're about four fields away*
IIII neeeed aaa poooortaaal!
*singing* He shees you when you're shleeping, he knowsh when you're awake, his name ish Edward Cullen, so get ready to be raped...
I'm invishible to dragons. Yeah, invishible.
Oh damnit, the dragon ate my equipment. No Portalsh here...
*picture of Bambi* Edward Cullen ate my mum *nods*
Really, "I like watching you sleep"- that gave me serious shivers XD
Damn you! I wash keeping thish in case of mini-balrogs... *throws bacon at dragon, grabs you and runs away*
OH NO! The shparkley shtalker ish following usss!
Me too - scary, scary sparkly fairy/vampire thing.
Run run runrunrunrunrun! *dragon nearly eats my arm* Damnit! Run fashter!
*sings* Escape, escape, escape from the terrifying shparkly thinggummy.
Oops, forgot about the line through! Err... hope it's not too difficult to read....
Hey! Join the newbie champagne party? x
Have a gun. It'll be useful, if you are going to became an Agent.
Ooh shiny ^^
Haha or just protect myself from rabid, invading Sues at the very least! Thank you x
Plover? Sorry, try to think of my as a newborn kitten- cute, but not altogether well-informed lol
Thanks for the welcome though ^^
x
Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.
Please use them IRresponsibly.
*pounces scarf like a Legolas stampeder*
Damn! I was hoping to add Tom Baker to my list of Doctor Who disguises.
Don't worry there are many irresponsible... ahem, sorry, responsible uses for jelly babies- like adding their contents to my BMI. A very responsible use, if I eat them then I save some other poor individual from the rather short and easy road to obesity. Yes, yes I am a martyr of the human race.
Welcome to this board! I've had fun on it so far, and I've not been here terribly long.
Have a hat. *presents hand-knit hat, crafted from the silky-soft spun fur of Cute Animal Friends*
Fellow noob! I shall crack out the wine to celebrate our camaraderie ^_^
Oooh, it's beautiful ^^ *puts on hat along with eletric-blue (plus other indiscernable colours) and mammoth-multicoloured scarves*
I am starting to feel rather bundled up, it getting quite difficult to get all this lovely food and drink into my mouth.
I am not French, but I will welcome you in it.
I am also not an experienced boarder, but I'm going to welcome you, anyway. Enjoy your stay.
Have a...um...
*searches around a bit*
...this is pretty rock I found. At least, it'll be pretty once it's been polished a bit.
Welcome and regards,
Lleu Llaw Gyffes
I am not French either but I shall thank you in return.
Haha you appear to be in good company so far ^^
Pet rocks are all the rage this year, they're pester-free, fur-free, smell-free, and generally just all-round free. I shall treasure it ^^
*rubs rock on t-shirt, unveiling, beneath the many layers of grime, that it is in fact the dried husk of a long-forgotten bread-roll*
Or... perhaps it is better over here, near the bin.....
Do not feed it sues.
Oh no, it would give her terrible indigestion- she does seem to have fondness for Suethors though, if the way she's stalking that one over there is any indicator.
...Ah, I should probably best call an ambulance...
Have an Infinite-Capacity carpetbag, chocolate, and a plover-cage in case Tawaki shows up.
Such royal gifts!
I'm afraid all I have to offer in return is a signed moth-eaten copy of Where Did All The Good Fic Go? The Rise of the Fangirl and her Immortal Hormones by Rian Histo, some flat muffins and rather a lot of tea leaves....
Welcome to the Board! Have some chocolate and enjoy your stay here!
Thank you, would take some poorly-risen muffins in return? They're the best I can do I'm afraid.
Please enjoy this silk top hat as a welcoming gift.
Ah so you have seen beneath me and discovered my secret passion for all things period I see. Thank you very much and I shall where it to my friend's mad hatters tea party ^^ x
Help yourself to some lembas, specially prepared by the House Elves from Hogwarts!
Oooo, very much obliged XD all these crossovers have some good uses then!
Naw, never mind, I'm cracking up anyhow, In all senses of the word. Hello, Makaylax!
I am much to laaazy to post lynx to all the things you should visit, and I am positive someone else will, so I will just give you a big fuzzy scarf and call it a day. It is mainly electric blue, but there are other colors in there as well.
(Besides, I'm not 100% sure I remember how to post lynx on this thingy. How do you do this again...?)
Hello Edward!
Certainly more experienced than me. The last time I was on a message board was about 10 years ago, when I was besmirching the LOTR board on what I thought was the Harry Potter board, but as the Laws of Narrative Comedy operate largely in this area I'm sure you can imagine where I actually posted it.
I love scarves! I have a big collection at home so I'd love to add it. Hmm I see what you mean, its kind of difficult to describe the other colours when they keep swirling around like that- bit hard to keep track of...
Haha, well thanks for warning me in advance that there are things I should visit! XD
I just realised that I said very little actually about me for anyone to talk to me, so let me introduce myself, stealing the format from Ansela in one of the posts below
Name: Zoe McCullagh-George
Gender: Female
Nationality: British
Age: 19
Currently: English Language 2nd Year Uni student
Fandoms: Lord of the Rings (sporadically active), Harry Potter (ibid), Stargate: SG1+Atlantis, Criminal Minds
Some Anime Fandoms: Ouran, XXXHolic, Naruto, FMA, Eyeshield 21
Hobbies: Reading and writing, usually fanfic, but occasionally original fiction manages to slip its way in there.
Likes: anthropology in a purely casual sense, languages, anime, slash (well-written, of course), bouts of insanity, thesauruses, chatting to new people, dancing to dodgy 80s music, random Wii parties!
Dislikes: Bad grammar, shocking abuse of the English Language, anything with six legs coming within my personal space bubble, buttons....
Envies: people with dedication, masters of prose.
Other: my lj account is illezabeth, feel free to add ^^
This isn't a PPC thing, it's just a good rule for most of the Internet. The board tends to be safer than most places, but still...
So! Anyway... I find myself doubting this...information you've given us. Female, no suprise there, British...you're probably be faking it, but I'll withhold judgement. (Like hell I will). 19...well that probably isn't your fault. You're an English student, no suprise there either, and your fandoms are nothing to be horrified about, nor are you're hobbies, nor are your dislikes or envies (rather suprisingly) but your likes...Hmm.
Answer me this, so-called Makaylax...If you're a 19 year-old, second-year English student, why didn't you say thesauri?
GHASP!
This minor grammar error has given me cause to disbelieve everything you've said. Makaylax, how could you lie to us like this? Is your username even Makaylax?!
DOUBLE GHASP!
It isn't! It's Makayla! Mein Gott, how could you do this to me, Makaylax? HOW COULD YOU?!
...
shnarl...
Is there away to edit or delete posts? I'm such an internet scatterbrain. Too many forms over the years I think, it's an automatic response.
OH NO! Haha I can't be entirely shocked. Oh I'm definitely faking being British, who wouldn't? To be a Brit is the envy of every nation!
Ah in my own defenve, in the battle 'thesauruses' vs. 'thesauri', either is actually applicable (I even checked before I posted it lol ^^) many irregular plurals are being regularised these days due to "general ineptitude of youth today". I guess I'm just being tugged along for the ride- oh the woes!
I'M SO SORRY! (sobs) can you ever forgive me?
...Would some cakes appease you?