tuba wench wax!funk,nix
U wick Ur

abs NW tote outage
Perhaps?

Its a good thing I have a needle full of Potassium chloride for situations like this. Don't worry, this will only hurt a lot. >=3

Foulness and calamity! Not you again! EFF OFF!

gaaah, stupid trolls...

It's interesting that they use the same subject line. It must be trying to communicate with us. I saw Contact last night, so I vote that it's an alien.
But... it's going about it the wrong way! No math, nothing friendly. So... let's see, what's my best troll-killing weapon? I think... a dictionary! One of the giant ones that sits on a table for people to look in. If I can lift it high enough, I'll drop it on the troll's head.

Must be serious then. I'll pack a Stig.

*bashes repeatedly with a string bag full of tinned cat food*

Out! Out! Go on, scat! *repeatedly beats the troll with the broom end*

I swear, just when you think you've gotten rid of the things, they come right back again! They're like ants! Or cockroaches! Or those darn stray cats that keep mating behind my garden fence.

Begone! Thine cat-on-keyboard chatter is not welcome here!

*repeatedly smacks Troll with a lamp*

Grscdyv, hdnb.

Y76b? Gbsyv, veeblznhsh bswhbg vez. Qwrtey gdh hxhsb sgw bxchbjs Strong Basftfy do.

Dfws wsggj teksoqp gqrts jh!

Translation:
Troll: Hey, anybody want to buy a death stick?
Me: You don't want to sell us death sticks. You want to go home, and rethink your life.

(I think it's safe to assume trolls are weak-minded enough to be force persuaded.)

Here, have this live grenade that's about to go off, I'm sure you'll enjoy it FAR more than an unspecific person/place/thing!

What, this again? I thought we'd taken care of this problem the last time. Hmm. I guess we're going to have to kill this one even more melodramatically than the last one.

*readies her pink eraser-firing bazooka gun*

Anyone else want to help kill this with me?