It could toast the whole town!

Welcome! Have a staple gun filled with semi-colons; they're handy.

Have a panda that eats, shoots and leaves! (For all your grammatical needs.)

That's a baby hawk. Not only is it adorable, it can eat your face! Feed it mice and Sues.

Fair winds!

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Have some chocolate, won't you?

:)

Oh, you want a present? Er....
Here! Take this stick for poking canon back into shape.

Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

Have a welcoming hug or glomp, your choice.

They have bumper stickers somewhere at the entrance *waves around* and I still have to think of something to give to newbies. So for now, a batch of PPC cookies.
Look, there's a mini-Balrog cookie, and a S.O. cookie, and a CAD cookie, and...

Anyway, welcome!
Do be aware that Boarders and Agents alike like shiny new things, and you might be a little overwhelmed.

Take a gun. Sometimes, only armour-piercing bullets will kill Sues. They tends to be quite nasty people, that's why we have to kill them.

*gives Ms_Draca a PPC bumper sticker*

Welcome to the board!

Lovely to meet you :)

Best suggestion about the register/login function is to forget about it; it's notoriously useless. Most people around here just type their name every time - it saves a lot of fuss and trouble. There's actually a section on it in our FAQ: For the Board. Which is a Link! And therefore a perfect way to introduce you to...


THE LINKS!

Which, if you don't know from your lurking, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our (my!) Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Feed it only Generic Meat!

Welcome! I present you with your very own Frying Pan of DOOM^tm, useful for hitting Author Wraiths and incoherent spammers over the head, as well as for cooking with. I'd wash it first, though, if you plan on cooking something if you've used it as a weapon recently. Agents Ian and Lee send their regards, along with a large batch of freshly baked cookies in your choice of flavor.

Have a rain forest dragon. They're tiny, so they can fly through the thick canopy more easily. Except they don't really fly, they just glide on a membrane of skin between their legs. They also don't breathe fire, because forest fires are bad. (This dragon may actually be a lizard.)

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

So...what fandoms do you follow?

Hello and welcome to the community! Here, have this grenade that's about to go off-

JUST KIDDING! Have this unspecific thing instead! It can be anything you want it to be, provided you've got the imagination!