Fair winds!

Seriously, this is the nicest welcome I've ever had. My parents weren't this nice to me when I was born. You're all such lovely people! *explodes*

Have a glass paperweight shaped like an artichoke. Sorry, no clockwork inside.

i'll gie you a gun. Good for killing Sues and threatening the mad people here if they get dangerous.

Hello and Welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and enjoy your stay!

Seriously, that is an awesome username. Have a pet cat. You may name him whatever you wish.

A welcoming hug *hugs* and I heard the bumper stickers are somewhere back there. *motions behind her*

Anyway... I don't have crazy things to give like other people, so I will simply wish you the best here, have fun, leave your sanity in the designated area, and welcome newbie.
But maybe I will come up with something...

Do be aware that we like shiny, new things and you might be glomped on occasion.

I see no one has given you The Links yet, so I get to. :)

The Links, if you don't know, are the lot of 'Go Read This Now Please' urls that we throw at every newbie since they actually do give Useful Information. In relative order of sensible-reading-ness, they are:

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our (my!) Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies.
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial.

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Please enjoy this riding lawnmower as a welcoming present.

Welcome, fellow food-named person! I hereby bestow upon you a Frying Pan of Doom^TM, a plate of brownies, and a Bag of Holding, compliments of Agents Ian and Lee of RC 6237. Feel free to drop by and chat with them if you like.

Feed it only Generic Meat.

Welcome to the Board. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't need it here. Also, here's some lemon butter. Yummy yummy lemon butter.

Welcome to the Board and all its attendant insanity.

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object. They may come in handy!

Have a stuffed panda that eats, shoots and leaves.

*Sniffs* Pine freshness? Blegh! Sorry about that. Don't worry, I'll figure out what's causing that smell. In the meantime, take this!
*Hands over an air freshener shaped like a skunk*
Ah, that's much better.

Just make sure you step around it instead of through it, as it leads to Silent Hill.

Here, have this grenade that's about to go off-

JUST KIDDING! Here, have this unspecific thing instead. It can be anything you want it to be, provided you have the imagination!

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

What fandoms do you follow?