Subject: With my brain functioning slightly better...
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Posted on: 2010-06-16 15:57:00 UTC

It's good. It's very good. Someone already linked you to FictionPress, or I would have done it for you...

I don't quite understand why Brian seems to have this infective cheerful possession effect on random characters... Or the description of "endlessly sepia-toned miles". It sounds rather like they're in some kind of barren alternate dimension.

Don't mind my brain, it's on fantasy setting. But that's what it sounds like... The title only makes it slightly clearer. You might want to explain in-story that they are, in fact, in Kansas, along with why they're in Kansas in the first place. I, for one, am confused.

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