Dan Brown
The items on this list look quite interesting at first glance and it seems its author knows a lot about cooking - then you notice all of his lists follow the same format, half of the ingredients don't actually taste like he wrote they would, and the other half is just plain uncookable or not even edible.

My own - yes, I am like that.
You see pages upon pages of scribblings detailing meals ranging from simple to elaborate, but no actual grocery list. There are no ingredients nor instructions on the papers you have.
You also notice most of these meals are variations on each other, with either one method of preparation or key ingredient changed in each iteration.
Some of it appears to be strange modifications of other authors' dishes - odd attributes, food items that must certainly be toxic and are sometimes noted as such, the mention of a substance rendering the entire dish completely inedible, and so on.

(Specifically, the Dragonriders of Pern series.)

The list is arranged in several parts, and the ingredients are rather exotic. Dragonfruit, descaled for easy handling, features heavily throughout. As you think about it, you realize some of the ingredients may be more exotic than they really need to be, and they drive up the price a bit. However, the meal itself is amazingly rich and colorful, and you can't help but go back for seconds.

Oh, and there are some extra pages tacked on the end in different handwriting, but after reading through the first couple (which make for dishes that are respectively moderately tasty and cliched yet bewildering), you decide to give the rest a miss.

~Neshomeh

Here's one (or possibly some) of mine:

Gerald Morris
The items contain everything you need to make a possibly mythological, possibly almost historically accurate feast. You learn more than you expected to, and laugh and cry all the way through. At the end of the list is a note providing even more details, and an explanation of where most things on the list originally came from. You come away smiling and full of good food.

And someone needs to write Terry Pratchett's list.

~DF

Techno-Dann's Tolkien and hermione of vulcan's Susanne Collins are great. Just so spot-on. :D
Um... I'm not very good at this stuff, but I'll give it a go.
SHANNON HALE: Enthralling, filled with charismatic and unusual items and, interestingly enough, emitting luminous green sparkles. It's written in epically spidery handwriting. Every time you get to the end, you realize you've forgotten everything that was on it and you have to read it again.
MY OWN GROCERY LIST: The writing tends to wander on and off the lines, and it uses a disproportional number of adverbs. It gets as far as "superbly creamy milk... painfully sweet sugar... flawlessly smooth eggs..." and then is left to fester on the kitchen table for all eternity.

Iain M. Banks:
The list is full of invented words. punny names and weird capitalisation. Part of it is written from the future to the past. You need to read it at least three times to understand it.

H.P. Lovecraft
The list starts off innocuously enough. However, as you get the ingredients, you start to notice something is horribly wrong with the list, as the ingredients are all weird items that seem to point at something sinister that is lurking beneath the surface. Eventually, you get to the end of the grocery list, and are confronted with a horror that then ends up becoming some variation on "indescribable".

William Shakespeare
The list uses language so archaic you need to reference a different page just to know what the hell the first page is referring to.

Robert Jordan:
The list has three pages, with pretty standard ingredients for the kind of meal you are shopping for. Two hours later, when you inexplicably find yourself on the 8th page you are wondering if all these ingredients are really necessary. There are many sub-lists built around various recipes that seem to have varying levels of relevance to the larger meal. After spending the afternoon reading, you make it to the 12th page and find that the handwriting is different. The good news is that the last three pages are full of spices that work really well with the ingredients from the previous pages. In the end, you will have one massive feast featuring every ingredient on the list, no matter how irrelevant it seemed at the time. That is...if you can even make it through the list.

I would add to Rowling that everyone wants to borrow her list.

And my version of Rick Riordan:

Nothing is simply what it is - everything on the list has some connection to ancient mythology, and it's enthralling to see how much of our culture is based on ancient traditions. It's written from the point of view of a snarky teenager, which makes it so entertaining that you remember the list even after you're done shopping.

Suzanne Collins:

You start the list, and everything's in perfect sequence, right next to each other in the store so you're racing through. Through it all, you learn about unethical food practices. Then the list starts to become less clear- though it's still moving quickly, you find yourself squinting at the items, not sure whether you're getting the right thing. You might have repeated something. Then the list becomes nigh-incomprehensible, and you feel like giving up on trying to understand. Depending on who you are, you either stick it through or give up. Maybe after you're done shopping you go try to rewrite the end, so you can use that instead. You feel disappointed, because it was so good at first.

Stephenie Meyer:

She feels the need to describe everything in unnecessary detail, and you feel like there are things missing, despite the list being incredibly long. You get the sense that there are some unethical food practices she supports and promotes.

(whoever wrote Fifty Shades of Grey, can't remember at the moment):

She borrowed Stephenie Meyer's list, but changed some of the names of things and the unethical practices take up even more space, if possible.

All I've got for now.

Douglas Adams-
has completely ridiculous items that you probably shouldn't buy, but somehow is sill worthwhile.

JK Rowlings-
Promises to be a good buy, Is a good buy, but then you suddenly realise you've forgotten something.

Rick Riordan-
Keeps going on and on, but you need to get it all.

Joseph Heller
You may only use the shopping list if you're hungry. However, if you can read it, that only shows you're not too distracted by hunger to concentrate on reading, which means you aren't hungry at all and you may not use the shopping list.

Herman Melville
The shopping list is a long description of the history of grocery stores, and how people conducted shopping during the nineteenth century. The food only shows up at the very end.

Thomas Mann
The list is so long that you wind up strangling most of the early food items because you can't bear to hear them talk anymore about how hard life is outside the grocery store.

Stephen King
Each shopping list contains subtle nods to all the others, until eventually, the readership understands that all the lists are really taking place during a single, massive shopping trip. The Man in Black flees across the bakery section, and the Gunslinger follows.

J. Robert King
Leaves so many unfinished shopping instructions on the first list that Wizards of the Coast asks him to write an extra shopping list that explains all the inconsistencies and fills in the missing information.

Anthony Burgess
Instead of putting groceries in your cart, you smash them on the ground or throw them at other shoppers. The speaker system only plays classical.

Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins
For some reason, you're shopping on an airplane. Most food items have been crossed off and replaced with phone numbers. The children all go missing, but no one seems to notice or care. You start to shop from the Antichrist's shopping list instead because it has better food.