Subject: bad songfics
Author:
Posted on: 2010-06-04 04:25:00 UTC
Whatever it ends up being classified as, I am very glad that someone is willing to tackle these awful things. I am sure somewhere out there, there is a good songfic...but I haven't found it yet.
(totally irrelevant and off-topic, but I just now finally watched Avatar! Great movie!)
Here is my writing sample. If I get in, this will be a prologue to any other missions containing these characters. Beware, my formatting is utterly pink.
I'm trying for a new Department here. It is not named, because the next installment will feature a naming argument, but here are the full stats:
Department of Irrelevant Background Music (DIBM)
Department Head: The Larkspur
Flash Patch: Stylized whole note on a white background
Concentration: Songfics
Agents: Tendency toward music geeks, social ineptness is preferred.
Character Profiles:
Name: Ken Collins
Species: Kryptonian
Appearance: Tall and comparatively lean for his species. Brown hair and acidic green eyes.
Lust Object: Supergirl, though he sometimes mistakes other blondes for her. This has led to some rather interesting misunderstandings with Agent Luxury.
Abilities: Most of what you'd expect from a Kryptonian, played for laughs...super strength, super speed, super lung control, super hearing, flying. No X-ray or heat vision, though; he was legally blind on Krypton.
Weapons: Bare hands. He broke too many swords and guns to have anything else.
Personality: Extrovert, but a socially awkward one. Apparently, five partners in a row just couldn't stand his constant angsting over a certain Kara, his knack for playing the Sue's Advocate during missions, or his maddening tendency to sing the most irritating Ear Worms of this planet over and over again at the top of his Kryptonian lungs. Once one gets past all that, however, he's a fairly nice guy...well, as nice as a guy who wrings necks for a living can be.
Name: Grace "Gracie" Cook
Species: Human, World One
Appearance: Tall and muscular. Dark, curly blonde hair and blue eyes, generally wears glasses. Pretty, but not overly so.
Lust Objects: Peter Pevensie, Batman, and Frodo. She's rather eclectic.
Abilities: Has had classical training in music since she was ten. Very good swimming skills.
Weapons: Bow and arrow, generally. Has some knowledge of tae kwon do, but remembers only enough to make sure her thumb is tucked under her fingers when she punches someone. Some training with a staff.
Personality: Introvert...she doesn't speak unless she knows someone very well or unless it is absolutely necessary. Beyond that, she has a tendency to nitpick excessively when it comes to badfic. Also likes to plunder fancy dresses from Sues whenever possible, and likes pink and horses to an obsessive extent. Hates pop music...which sucks, 'cause her new partner sings Spears and Backstreet Boys in the shower.
So...is it good?
...but is the debate on the new Department over? The posting just sorta stopped when I said I could maybe do a remake of the A/V division. I don't know if I was unclear - I probably was, knowing me, sorry - but what I meant by that was that I could do it if the Department didn't go through. But so far, I haven't got a concise "yes" or "no" as to the new Department.
I do have a compromise. Maybe I could write a couple of missions for the new Department, on a trial basis. Like, the Flowers have disagreed on the best way to deal with a division like this, so they've made a temporary Department which will police songfics until they've made a decision. It might also give everyone a better idea of where this is going, and where a division like this would belong.
Would that work?
You said you'd need to look at the A/V Division, so I figured you would have more to say after you'd seen the links I provided.
I'm really okay with it either way. I'd love to see a pre-existing concept like A/V revived, but I also stand by what I said about a Songfic Department before.
One caveat, though: if you do end up making a new department, try to name it something that won't make the acronym "DBS," because that's the Department of Bad Slash. {= )
~Neshomeh
That was me, being dense. Anyhoo...
I have read the A/V missions. I enjoy the premise of A/V, and I might just write something for it in the future. However, I think that these particular agents might be more entertaining in a department with more action than A/V...or, at least, more action on a regular basis. Therefore, I think I'll go for the new department.
It will be the Department of Irrelevant Background Music (DIBM). Let the fun begin...
Whatever it ends up being classified as, I am very glad that someone is willing to tackle these awful things. I am sure somewhere out there, there is a good songfic...but I haven't found it yet.
(totally irrelevant and off-topic, but I just now finally watched Avatar! Great movie!)
I like it. Your agents are a nice contrasting pair and your writing sample made me chuckle. I don't know a thing about Kryptonians but you explained every relevant detail without bogging down the narrative, and that's not only hard to do but often entirely neglected, so I particularly applaud you for that. Well done.
One tiny, probably entirely irrelevant thing:
to make sure her thumb is tucked under her fingers when she punches someone
You mean that the thumb is pressed against the outside of the knuckles and pulled out of the way, right? Not tucked inside the fingers? I did TKD for years and the one thing my teachers always said is that if you have your thumb wrapped up in your other fingers when you punch, you're going to break it. Just want to make sure.
That said, go forth and write! (Well, once the debate of the songfic department is over...) Welcome to the PPC! :D
Thank you! Oh, man, I can't *wait* to start up!
Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. I was trying to come up with a way to describe the fist without sounding wordy...and my mind always thought "under the fingers" instead of "around the knuckles." I'll try to be a little more specific in the future.
Have fun! :)
While I'm not a PG, I think you've got great agents there, and the they seem fun from the sample.
Personally, while I do agree in general general basis in regards to the whole 'semi-moratorium on new departments', I don't think the idea of a bad songfic department is a bad one, and could be interesting; it's just a matter of what others think.
That said, I do think that as a 'badfic' type there are enough out there that it could be relevant (as much as anything here is) and a possible department on its own, with no need to be put under Floaters or be an aspect of the A/V Division.
The PPC (as a collective) is not very big on starting new departments. There must be really something special that can't be covered in any of the other departments (and note that there is a department of floaters which can pretty much carry the label miscellaneous). I do think, however, that songfic may be special enough to have its own department.
If the new department gets a pass (from permission givers and/or the PPC board) I know an author in A-Team fandom that writes mainly inapproriate songfics (2007 songs in a fic that is set in 1983, for instance). Knowledge of A-Team fandom not required; the author doesn't seem to know it either.
Maybe. I can certainly see it. The argument would have to be one of basic practicality - how do you pick what badfics go to the Songfic Department rather than somewhere else, and how do you ensure the agents working there can handle everything thrown their way? If the fics in question were 80% song and 20% prose, that would make sense, but then it might be hard to charge them for anything other than "lack of plot".
Calista has a point. A subdivision of Floaters would make the most sense.
If you're going to send people into songfics, then it'd best be generalists who can handle many continua, because songfics get written for just about anything; and that means Floaters. But there are only so many agents who can handle the constant Chinese water torture of songfics, so it makes sense to gather them. That's my take, anyhow.
BTW, your Kryptonian is going to be disappointed to realize that HQ doesn't have a yellow sun, as it's entirely indoors. So he'll only be able to recharge his powers when he's in an appropriate continuum, on a planet with a yellow sun, undisguised.
I actually had the same issue about two months back, when I was thinking about the idea. I put the question up to the Board, and Neshomeh told me that since a department of songfics would police a specific type of badfic, it could probably stand on its own. However, the Kryptonian hails from Floaters...I was thinking he could be the expert on multiple continuums, while Grace is the music whiz.
Yeah, he's run into that...it's why he doesn't tear doors of their hinges on a more regular basis. He gets in trouble a lot for taking off his disguise during missions, but so far he's been discreet enough only to to so when the Sue won't notice.
I'm not 100% sure about this, but maybe it would work for you to pick up the A/V Division where Adam and Frenchie left off. Since A/V is the home of the Cryptomusic Archives, and their directive is to collect audio and video footage from throughout the PPC-surveyed multiverse, the songfic thing might fit in there. That would eliminate the need for the fic in question to be killable, just as long as it's strange and interesting.
Thoughts?
~Neshomeh
I'd have to take a look at the A/V Division, but if it'll fit, that would be awesome.
Do DoSAT agents have permission to kill badfic? It seems like the collecting of the badfic would be a different department from the killing of it. Kind of like the difference between DMS and DMSE&R.
I kind of do like the idea of a whole new department, especially if there's a newly promoted Flower to go with it. Earlier, in the discussion about Medical, there was talk of the potential comedy of that situation, and I can see it being played out well here.
Interesting thought: if you don't want to create a new department, songfics could go into DIC. After all, they are taking two different canons and mashing them together, often very badly. I don't know if songs lacking music videos are technically their own canon, but coping with songfics could involve sending the canons back to their own world and making certain the lyrics aren't mangled, etc.
I also think that either just A/V or DoSAT proper might want to find a way to modify glopsnerch to work against songfics. From what I've read, they're deafening.
Oh, and by the way, I do like your introductory piece, Italian for Grandma. The bit about Ken being from a comic book background made me laugh. Good luck getting Permission!
--anamia
Yeah, it's been merged into DoSAT as a division, and yes, its agents are (or at least were authorized at one point) to kill Sues when necessary.
Adam and Frenchie, the original A/V Geeks, only have two missions. However, one of them is the infamous Balrog Sue and the other takes place during the little-known 2003 Mary Sue Invasion.
I'm not actually sure what order they were originally written in, but it seems to work either way.
~Neshomeh
Now that is scary. Though I did like giving it to the minis. Do we ever learn what happens to her, or is there potentially still a Balrog 'Sue running around?
--anamia