Derp.

Subject: Derp.
Author: Mr. Eldritch
Posted on: 2010-05-11 00:32:00 UTC

Oh, and you can contact me at

Mr.Eldritchy [at] gmail.com

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(Another) triumphant return, this time with mission post by anamia on 2010-05-06 19:37:00 UTC Reply

Why is it that I always seem to vanish from things I commit to? -sigh- No matter. Hopefully I'll be here for a while this time. School's hurtling to a finish, meaning I'll have more time, and writing missions will probably a good way to relieve stress.

And, lo and behold, I do indeed have a mission. Sort of. It's a lab report, actually, but oh well. I hope you enjoy it anyway. I would be delighted to know what you think of it!

link: http://anamiascorner.webs.com/labreports.htm

Oooh, genetics! Fun! by Neshomeh on 2010-05-07 18:47:00 UTC Reply

Mapping the Suvian genome... that's ambitious!

Now I'm wondering about heritability. Most Sues don't reproduce, so it would be hard to track, but it would be interesting to see which Sue traits are dominant, which are recessive, which show co-dominance, which are autosomal vs. sex-based, etc. And there would have to be mitigating factors that humans don't have, of course, since we all know how cooperative Sues are with the rules of biology. Possibly related to glitter saturation? Is there glitter in the actual chromosomes? O.o

If the next lab report you do involves Punnett squares, I will be thrilled to death. ^_^

~Neshomeh, who should have studied this stuff more; then she could do it herself.

Awww.... by Mr. Eldritch on 2010-05-10 21:27:00 UTC Reply

I was planning to do a whole report on Suvian genetics, reproduction, anatomy, and lifecycle once I'd got up the nerve and time to ask for Permission.

(If you must know, the Sue was going to actually be the larval form of the Plotbunny. DNA was never going to be invoked at all, the whole form would be stored as "memetic code" in a Glitter-based neural network, which combined with that of the host author during reproduction to create the complete "idea", inspiring the author to produce a new Suvian. Glitter would be, not mica-based, but a carbon-unobtainium aromatic ring, in two forms. One would transport harvested Narrativium from the story framework to the tissues, and one would make up the nervous system of the organism. Posession!Sues would be...

Shutting up.)

Basically, mind-raping (literally) virus butterflies.

What you've got is cool to, though! Great job!

Well, I did only do one genus by anamia on 2010-05-10 23:34:00 UTC Reply

You could claim another. And keep in mind that, owing to the oddities of 'Sue biology, both could be possible. The 'Sue could evolve in the way you suggest (which is way cool!) and then its DNA could follow in the way I suggest. Since I never did explain how the DNA arrived, just that it was there.

Want to work together on this one? -grins- You seem to know a lot more about biology than I do.

--anamia

Surebsolutely! by Mr. Eldritch on 2010-05-10 23:47:00 UTC Reply

Eh, it's not really biology at all. It's just knowing how to think like a scientist, and having a big wad of interesting facts to pick and choose from.

But sure, if you'd like me to work with you, of course I would!

Derp. by Mr. Eldritch on 2010-05-11 00:32:00 UTC Reply

Oh, and you can contact me at

Mr.Eldritchy [at] gmail.com

Another possibility by Calista on 2010-05-09 17:51:00 UTC Reply

Nin and Lux just finished a mission--see above--with a pregnant Sue. (The post is above--it's marked "Finished Nin's final mission for her!") The infant's being kept at HQ; the Sue's been killed. Maybe if you're lucky they'll still have blood samples?
Yes. Punnet squares pleeeeeease? (nm) by The Trojanhorse on 2010-05-09 04:44:00 UTC Reply
What have I done? by anamia on 2010-05-07 19:20:00 UTC Reply

I seem to have unleashed a monster...

Judging from the way the affect canons, though, I'd say that 'Sue traits act more like a kind of virus, jumping from character to character. For actual 'Sues who reproduce (there are a few, I believe. Rape victim! 'Sues, probably.), that would be very interesting to look at. Of course, we would need both mother and child. Maybe someone should send out a general anouncement that we need pregnant 'Sues brought in either alive or in pieces, preferably with the uterus intact. Though for those impregnated by canon characters, it might be hard to separate 'Sue characteristics from posession 'Sue ones. And I wonder about the glitter content in such hybrids...

And to think, I ran away screaming from biology. Looks like I'll be regretting that. -grins-

Punnett squares, hmm... We'll see. I think for the moment my agents are more worried about the kill directives, but seeing if those are hereditary would be important too.

--anamia, who hasn't studied any of it either.

ooooh, sparkly genetics! by Crystal on 2010-05-08 18:03:00 UTC Reply

I think you are pretty close with the viral analogy. We have seen documented cases of Vanbrolaria, and insuenza....

If you ever want someone to bounce genetics stuff off for psudo plausability then I'll volenteer, I've got two genetics degrees!

I'm also willing to... by Somariel on 2010-05-08 18:26:00 UTC Reply

...have the science bounced off of me. I studied biotechnology in high school.

I will probably take you up on that. by anamia on 2010-05-09 05:08:00 UTC Reply

Thanks!

--anamia

Reproducing Sues by Goldenrod111 on 2010-05-08 06:10:00 UTC Reply

I'll look for a mother-daughter Sue team, and donate it if I find one. However, as I tend to avoid romance, that might not be for a while. Anyway, anamia, thanks for letting me rewrite that scene! I don't see my male agent wandering the halls for a while—he's currently on a mission, then he will be opening some of my welcome gifts (his partner already has the rest), will run off into some canon with nice scenery after that, and will finally spend some time in FicPsych before he can encounter Cocoa), but expect to see her eventually.

Looking forward to reading it by anamia on 2010-05-09 05:08:00 UTC Reply

Though, if he ever meets Cocoa again, he might end up right back in FicPsych. She tends to do that to people.

Thanks for looking. We need all the subjects we can find.

--anamia

How about mpreg Gary Stus? by Calista on 2010-05-08 01:41:00 UTC Reply

Granted, the oddity of the mpreg reproductive method may present additional hurdles for the scientist (one of which hurdles is bound to be the inadequate supply of bleeprin); however, the existence of mpreg does increase the probability that sufficient data can be gathered on parent/child pairs.

Though it is admittedly ethically dubious, examining the Possession Sue may also be a potential source of data, as canon characters tend to become pregnant more often than Mary Sues. It may only be practical in those cases where the Sue has actually replaced the canon character, rather than the cases where simple possession still allows exorcism and return of the canon character to his native habitat.

Due to the rarity of Mary Sue reproduction by pregnancy and birth, I agree that we may unfortunately be forced to rely on case studies rather than being able to collect enough data for proper statistical analysis.

Mpreg had occured to me by anamia on 2010-05-09 05:06:00 UTC Reply

Especially since my other team of agents works for Bad Slash. Though, they do tend to stay away from mpreg stories and deal mostly with possession 'Sues or just very OOC characters. Maybe I can outsource the research to Trojie and Pads.

--anamia

Viruses are known to incorporate themselves into DNA. (nm) by Calista on 2010-05-08 01:22:00 UTC Reply

Contagious Sue-ness is the last thing we need. (nm) by MAXinsanity on 2010-05-10 01:53:00 UTC Reply

Sadly, it already exists by anamia on 2010-05-10 03:38:00 UTC Reply

For instance, Vambiolaria (mentioned somewhere else in this thread) is a contagious 'Sue disease. So perhaps we could find a cure which is more convenient than the one we have, which involves hard-to-find plants.

--anamia

Re: Sadly, it already exists by Anonymous on 2010-05-10 23:54:00 UTC Reply

What about the de-Glittering methods mentioned in earlier lab reports?

Gengineered vampire bats, hemodialysis, that sort of thing.

It's known that Glitter concentration has a direct effect on Sueness.]

Ooh, really? by anamia on 2010-05-09 05:17:00 UTC Reply

Shiny! That may be useful.

--anamia

Very interesting, yes... by Calista on 2010-05-09 18:03:00 UTC Reply

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endogenous_retrovirus

Basically, when a virus reproduces, it uses the host cell to reproduce its own genetic material. Sometimes that genetic material stays in the host cell. If it does that, and does it in a reproductive cell (sperm/egg), it can be passed to the next generation, hitching a ride in the genome of the organism the virus has infected.

Viral DNA is part of the reason for the junk DNA in the human genome. Viruses also play a role in transferring genes from one organism to another, especially for little one-celled organisms that just divide instead of swapping genes through sexual reproduction.

Disclaimer: I am in biomedical engineering, not genetics or virology. So this is from an amateur perspective. Someone who knows more about it than me can probably correct or elaborate on this.

Congratulations! by Sedri on 2010-05-07 05:11:00 UTC Reply

It's always great to finish something, and though I didn't have time to read it slowly, I enjoyed it.

Your agents remind me of bickering five-year-olds, but they're charming, in their own way. The contrast between the bickering and the precision of the lab reports is also amusing, in a PPCish style.

(Also, your sulking consoles made me think - what if the sentient consoles talk to each other? What would a story be like from their point of view? Actually, one could make the same case for all equipment, like the CADs and the semi-sentient scanners - that was very funny, by the way. Hmmm...)

I only have a few criticisms. Ons is that you have numbers written as numerals instead of words, like here - “Right. So we need 9 categories.” Also, in the paragraph beginning, "When she had finished her initial observations", you start far too many sentences with the word "she"; try to vary it a little.

Last - Mr Mistoffelees! Ah, what a good song to sing. I like that song. Just had to mention it ;)

Thanks! by anamia on 2010-05-07 16:30:00 UTC Reply

So glad you liked it! The bickering five-year-old effect is the one I was going for, so it's good that you picked up on it. And I've always thought that the personalities of agents conficlicted greatly with their jobs, so exaggerating that was fun.

Ooh, I hadn't thought of that. That would indeed be funny. Especially for CADs and things, which go on missions with the agents.

Thanks for pointing those things out. I know that I have a tendency to start all my sentences the same way, and I try to avoid it, but I'm still working on it. Clearly I need to work harder. -grins-

Oh yes. It's one of my favorite songs. Actually, most of the songs from Cats are in my list of top songs.

Thanks for reading and commenting!
--anamia

Looks great! by Goldenrod111 on 2010-05-07 05:00:00 UTC Reply

I haven't read a DoMSEaR (not necessarily the correct formatting—I just like how that method looks) story before. Yours is wonderful. Can I claim the male agent that Cocoa almost ran into? It might be a while until I write the scene in, but I enjoy interlinked stories.

I noticed a few things that you might want to change. As your agents are walking to the table, the word habit seems overused. In the same paragraph, I think the phrase ...falling into step out with her sister of habit... should be ...falling into step with her sister out of habit.... After Cocoa writes the first part of the report, 9 should be spelled out. In the third paragraph of Analysis and Conclusion of Results, you say that Suethors have little to know actual grasp of biology. That know should probably be a no. Finally, watch your spaces. They seemed to double ( instead of ) a couple times.

If the strange table formatting is the content extending to the borders, change the cellpadding CSS variable (eg. <table cellpadding="2px">). You might want to work with the width variable as well, both in the main table tag and in at least one td tag per column. Also in the coding, yet otherwise unrelated to the table, your footnote links should be switched—they currently point to themselves.

Sorry about that. I occasionally get into a listing mood. I actually enjoyed your work a lot!

Thanks! by anamia on 2010-05-07 16:34:00 UTC Reply

So glad you liked it! I think there's all of one other out there, so it's not unusual for people not to have read them. And of course you can claim him; I certainly wasn't going to do anything with him. I look forward to reading the scene when you get around to writing it.

[i]In the third paragraph of Analysis and Conclusion of Results, you say that Suethors have little to know actual grasp of biology[/i]

-Winces- Did I really do that? -Checks- Yes, yes I did. The shame. Thank you so much for pointing it out. (And everything else, by the way.) Very obviously I need to step up my search for a consistent second pair of eyes.

Ah yes, the table. My main problem is that I don't know any HTML, and so depend on the formatting of the web host. I need to go back and play around with it to see if I can get to the actual code. Thanks for the tips on how to fix it! And I do know how to play with links, so I'll fix that. Thank you for letting me know.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, and I really do apreciate all the tips and concrit.
--anamia

Oh, and one more thing by anamia on 2010-05-06 19:56:00 UTC Reply

I also have a quick beta request for anyone interested. Earlier, being in a strange mood, I went over to DeviantArt to find a picture to help me become inspired. I found one, and proceeded to write this piece (found here, since I'm failing at coding today: http://anamiascorner.webs.com/loyalty.htm), and I would be delighted to get someone's opinion. Mostly, what I would like to know is whether it's worth going over some more and polishing, or, in other words, whether it makes any kind of sense to anyone else. Pointing out any grammatical and/or spelling errors would also be lovely.

Thank you in advance,
--anamia