Subject: Tanks? I meant thanks. (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2010-05-05 11:10:00 UTC
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Permission request by
on 2010-05-04 21:15:00 UTC
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I would like to request Permission to write for the PPC. Here's a link to a sample of my writing: My Livejournal. It's the story of how Toon became an Agent.
Here are my Agents:
Agent Silikat: She is a giant brown and black tabby cat, a Jellicle form the Cats continuum. Actually, she’s five foot two, so she’s small for a human but large for a cat. She was recruited from her home continuum by Agents Ekwy and Gecka, who stopped by there once in a while. Silikat has a permanent case of fleas, rendering her quite grouchy and irritable, although she is happy after the death of a Sue. She’s very sarcastic and prefers to work alone, so the S.O gave her a partner, Toon, who she detests but puts up with for the sake of killing Sues. She’s in the Department of Mary Sues, Freelance Division. Her Lust Objects are The Master, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy and Macavity.
Agent Toon: Toon was recruited from a badfic Silikat once entered. She was Captain Jack Harkness’ wife in a cut flashback, and fell through a plothole on top of Silikat. She, therefore, is not allowed on missions in the Torchwoodverse unbtil she has learned to control herself. She is annoyingly perky and optimistic and can be very naive at times. She has shoulder-length black hair, pale skin and hazel eyes, although this is her after the Sue part was taken out. She is quite stocky and plump, much to her annoyance. Toon is one of the only Agents who can be excited about going on a mission, but she hasn’t had too many yet, so that will most likely wear off. Her Lust Objects are Harry Potter, The Doctor, Jack Harkness and Neville Longbottom.
Here is the badfic I plan to kill as my first mission if I get Permission: Alexandra Pond
I would also like to know how to request an RC, since I have no clue myself, and how to adopt a mini from a fandom with no Agents in.
And...that's it, isn't it? Feedback on the writing sample is appreciated very much. Thanks! -
Permission granted, provided... by
on 2010-05-06 02:19:00 UTC
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... that you watch your dialogue tags and put line breaks between paragraphs and lines of dialogue from now on. For example, this:
The S.O. was sitting behind a desk, staring at them. Well, Silikat assumed it was staring at them, as it had no eyes and therefore no expressions. Apparently, it came with being a Flower. The sight of a Sunflower in a business suit made the Sue behind her gasp, but just made Silikat think about how bizarre her job was.
Silikat, what do you want? And is that a Sue? The Sunflower demanded, pointing a leaf at the pair.
“Brought this into HQ. Don’t really know what she is. She fell through a plothole.” The Jellicle explained, still aware that the Sue was staring at them slack jawed. Irate as she was, Silikat just wanted to get rid of her, sadistic as she was.
Did you think of asking it? The Flower sounded sarcastic, and Sili gulped. No, she hadn’t thought of that, but since when was an Agent capable of logical thought?
Should look like this:The S.O. was sitting behind a desk, staring at them. Well, Silikat assumed it was staring at them, as it had no eyes and therefore no expressions. Apparently, it came with being a Flower. The sight of a Sunflower in a business suit made the Sue behind her gasp, but just made Silikat think about how bizarre her job was.
Silikat, what do you want? And is that a Sue? [t]he Sunflower demanded, pointing a leaf at the pair.
“Brought this into HQ. Don’t really know what she is. She fell through a plothole[,]” [t]he Jellicle explained, still aware that the Sue was staring at them slack[-]jawed. Irate as she was, Silikat just wanted to get rid of her, sadistic as she was.
Did you think of asking it? The Flower sounded sarcastic, and Sili gulped. No, she hadn’t thought of that, but since when was an Agent capable of logical thought?
I used square brackets to highlight changes, and the red bit is repetitive language, which you also want to watch out for. {= )
Otherwise, I like the agents, I like the story (is it based on one you wrote?), and I'm interested to see what you do now. Go! Be free! {X D
~Neshomeh -
Permission accepted! by
on 2010-05-06 07:39:00 UTC
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I'll look out for that in the future. And reading back the bit you quoted, it did make me cringe a bit. *grin*
Thank you! *runs off to start writing missions* -
Nice. by
on 2010-05-05 10:52:00 UTC
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For you too a link on how to make lj-cuts: http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=75
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Tanks for the link - not even heard of them before today! (nm) by
on 2010-05-05 11:09:00 UTC
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Tanks? I meant thanks. (nm) by
on 2010-05-05 11:10:00 UTC
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Personally, I'd rather have tanks. (nm) by
on 2010-05-10 13:01:00 UTC
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True! by
on 2010-05-10 16:17:00 UTC
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But they are so tricky to steer...I demolished a wall.
*guilty look* -
The wall deserved it! (nm) by
on 2010-05-11 13:00:00 UTC
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