Subject: Michel brushed the water out of his eyes.
Author:
Posted on: 2010-04-20 21:52:00 UTC
He bent down and picked up Dayn's abandoned bag of waterbombs. "Now then, monsieur, I am in a generous mood. Well, generous considering that I am soaking wet. If you leave now, and never throw anything at me again, I will not empty the entire contents of this bag over your head. You have to the count of three. Un...deux..."
*appears from nowhere and throws water bombs at all and sundry*
It's been a while since we've had one of these, and given the heavy mood of late, thought we could get a bit of silliness back on the front page.
For a bit of a change, how about we have this water fight in HQ with Agents. It's usually a water fight between Boarders, but I water fight in the halls of HQ should get an interesting reaction from the Flowers That Be.
*adopts persona of Agent Logan*
*pulls out a pair of water-filled mock-Uzis and starts spraying passers by*ElcalionLogan, mischievous.
A knock sounds on the RC door, and Randall opens it. He barely has time to see the smiling agents on the other side before they throw a bucket of water in his face.
"What is this!" he cries, stumbling back.
"A water fight. I wondered when I might need this," Alexis answers, pulling out a huge gun and filling it with water. "Take one, we're going hunting!"
A smile slowly spreads across the soaked agent's face, but is quickly dispelled. "What about the console?"
"That is the biggest reason to chase them. Here—this one's full."
Randall just managed to catch the gun his partner threw at him before it fell on the floor. He spent some time trying to get comfortable with it, and wound up pulling the trigger.
"Randall?" his partner cried, now wetter than he was. "You do notshoot your senior partner...at least not without expecting retaliation!"
The blast of water hit Randall in the chest and splashed across the small room. The console was somehow aware of this, and let out an alarmed-sounding BEEP!
"Let's take this outside. Here, give me that. I'll fill it up again."
When both water guns were full, the two agents carefully exited their RC. Randall's grin was quite predatory.
I popped my head out of my response center when I heard the yelling. I smiled, seeing that a water fight had broken out in the halls. I had taken the liberty of preparing myself for it this time. I pulled the AK-47 out from underneath my desk, and fingered the trigger lovingly, receiving a strange look from Leila, my partner. The DoSAT guy had demanded half a gallon of Bleepka in exchange for making it shoot bursts of water, but it would all be worth it soon. I ran out of my response center and through the halls. For once, the shifting corridors obliged me and I got to the cafeteria. I ducked behind an overturned table, and began blasting every agent in sight. Soon, I had gotten into a firefight with a guy from ESAS who had gotten the same idea as me, only with Uzis. I was hiding behind an overturned table, when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Leila charging through the cafeteria doors. She ran through the spraying water, and somersaulted behind my table. I didn't look at her, pretending to be focused on loading ammo. "I don't need the help!" I told her.
She grinned broadly at me. "I didn't come to help, matey!"
I didn't have time to cry out as the balloon hit me, because a second one came right after it. Sputtering water, I saw her charging off, giggling. I stood up, waving my gun at her. "I'll get you for this, Leila! I'll get y-"
I didn't have time to finish my sentence, as the agent I had been fighting with blasted me in the side. Sopping wet, I ran back to my response center, gunning down anyone in my way.
The machine gun hadn't been my original idea. The DoSAT guy had told me my original idea was rather unstable, so he had made the AK-47 to make it up to me. (I am positive that his generosity was due to my wonderful personality as opposed to the fact that I had my battleax with me at the time). In any case, he had also given me the prototype. Cackling, I grabbed the Panzerschreck. A Panzerschreck is like a bazooka, only larger and German. I also grabbed my backpack, which I had previously filled with water balloons. The halls seemed to have returned to their usual unhelpfulness, and it took me over ten minutes to reach the cafeteria. It was a madhouse, or at least more that usually so. I looked for my errant partner, and finally saw her, laughing with some of her friends from DoI as they pelted people . I ran up to them, lauching balloons. They screamed, and ran away, through one of the many corridors leading out of the cafeteria. I ran after them, smiling so widely it looked like my head was about to fall off.
I really should have been more suspicious.
A huge black mass slammed into me, lifting me off my feet. As it hit me, it burst, drenching me with water. I hit the floor, rubbed some of the water from my eyes, and came to my senses in time to see what was happening.
They had rigged up a Canon Catapult, and were loading it with a trash bag filled with water. I jumped to my feet, and started running towards them. I dodged the next trash bag, and jumped onto the arm of the catapault. I blasted the DoI agents again, and I could tell the screaming was genuine this time. As I was shooting, I didn't notice Leila running towards me. Before I could shoot her, she pulled the lever that fired the catapult.
I suddenly flew through the air, out of the hallway, and back into the cafeteria. Snarling, incoherent with rage, I grabbed my gun, sighted my partner over the barrel, and fired.
Pro tip: a Panzerschreck looks the same from both ends, and will fire even if you're holding it backwards. I had been holding it against my chest, and the blast knocked the wind out of me. Hazily, I saw my partner looking at me with a smug impression on her face. Her buddies were crowded around her. "Give up yet?" she asked.
I don't answer. Instead, I reach into my backpack with both hands and pull out a bunch of small balloons. "I didn't want it to have to escalate to this level," I sighed.
They lift their much larger balloons threateningly, not seeming very worried by my pitiful weaponry. "What kind of escalation do you call that?"
Instead of answering, I toss the balloons at them, turn tail, and run. I hear screams behind me. "WHAT IS THIS?"
Trying not to laught, I shout over my shoulder to the pursuing agents, "The Urple Bandits triumph again!"
Wow, didn't mean to make that thing so long. Sorries!
And, as Agent Silikat is an anthro cat, she is now severely annoyed.
"Okay, who was that?" she yelled down the corridor, but there was nobody in sight. Sighing loudly, she retreated back into her RC, only to be soaked again from behind. Silikat span around on one paw, fur dripping with what she really hoped was water.
There was nobody there.
"Bast!" Sili swore, retreating into her RC to get a water gun. Nobody soaked her and got away with it!
[Agent Silikat is one of the agents I have planned for when I get Permission. She's an anthro cat or Jellicle from the Cats continum. Just thought I'd let you know.]
Michel shook off the urge to speak in all caps as water from an unknown source dripped down his sideburns. "Who threw that?" he yelled again, with slightly more reasonable punctuation.
No one answered. Michel ducked back into his RC and snatched up the cache of water balloons that his partner had been saving for just such an occasion. "No one will confess?" he challenged, stepping back into the hall. "Then you will ALL face the penalty!"
He let loose a barrage of water balloons, aiming indiscriminately. "I am Agent Michel Javert, guardian of the peace and exorcist of bad slash! And no one hits me with a water balloon and gets away with it!"
There was a slightly giddy laugh from an intersection further down the corridor. A young man with pale purple skin, green hair, a red cap and the DOGA flashpatch waved cheerily once the barrage of incoming balloons stopped.
"Didn't mean to get you!" Dayn Aisenhek called, as he readied another waterbomb and lobbed it accurately at Michel. "That one did, though," he added, grinning.
Michel ducked his head into the RC again and seized two more balloons from Rouge's stash. He turned back to the purple-skinned agent. "Je vais vous apprendre," he shouted, forgetting to speak English, "a me respecter!"
The first balloon exploded spectacularly on the agent's shoulder.
He examined his drenched shirt ruefully for a moment, then grabbed a couple more waterbombs from his arsenal and leaned out, whipping them off one after the other. The first missed narrowly and left a large puddle on the floor, but the second managed to soak his opponent's trousers from the knees down.
"What did you say, sorry?" he called, carefully bouncing a third in his hand as he waited for the guy to either retaliate or approach.
"Rouge! If you have any more of these, fill them up!" he called through the open door of his RC.
He stepped forward, ignoring the sloshing sound coming from his saturated boots. "I will teach you," he growled, translating his earlier sentence, "to show some respect!"
He darted around the corner and hurled the final balloon at Dayn. It struck the agent on the thigh with a satisfying splash.
Dayn stumbled back, laughing, and flung the balloon in his hand in self-defence. It hit Michel directly in the face, and the Pyro dodged away, though he slipped on the now-wet floor and fell.
"Oof!" He rolled over, reaching for the little bag full of waterbombs that he had brought with him, only to find it out of his reach and the glowering Slasher standing between it and him. "Er. Oops?" he tried, with a disarming grin.
He bent down and picked up Dayn's abandoned bag of waterbombs. "Now then, monsieur, I am in a generous mood. Well, generous considering that I am soaking wet. If you leave now, and never throw anything at me again, I will not empty the entire contents of this bag over your head. You have to the count of three. Un...deux..."
"Okay, okay, point taken. Calm down. It was just a joke." He got to his feet and wrung out his shirt, still grinning rather unrepentantly. "Shame, really. You'd think two guys standing around in wet shirts was an invitation, really."
The cheeky-faced young man winked and raised his hands again. "I surrender, though. No more throwing stuff."
The petite agent sticks her head out the door and is immediately hit with the fallout of a high-powered attack by someone so soaked as to be unrecognizable. She blinks, grins, and withdraws her head for a moment, wiping dripping lavender strands of hair out of her face.
"Sis!" she yells into the depths of the RC. "C'mon, there's a waterfight!"
"There's a WHAT? Never mind, don't tell me, I don't care, I don't want to know, I want nothing to do with it and DO NOT CALL ME SIS!"
"So touchy," Kimmie muttered, and flung herself out the door, beaming.
"Oy! That's MY ammunition!" an unrecognizable sodden figure protested as she scurried past him.
"Sorry!" she lied, flinging herself around the corner and skidding an impressive distance on her rear, tossing water balloons willy-nilly behind her until she ran out and collided with something simultaneously. "Hello, Lux," she chirped, figuring that was a safe assumption given that the something had already gotten a hand under her first two layers of clothing. "Got any ammo?"
[Sidenote: This is Kimmie's first appearance; as I recall I don't need permission, right? She's a happy-go-lucky purple-haired gothic Lolita and is from an anime continuum. Hence the clothes and hair.)
'cause there's no tellin' whether that's actually WATER in my balloons.
Eh heh heh heh heh...
Agent Whatever finds some water-based rifles and gives them to Krisp and South. While he makes water bombs for himself, the other two start shooting randomly at everyone.
"YAY! A WATER FIGHT!" says Krisprolls.
South tints his own water red and shoots. "Everything's better with blood! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"South, you might want to tone it down just a little," says What' while he starts shooting hos bombs all over the place.
"No way. Unless you want to have a taste?"
"No, thanks."
"What's not to love in you two," says Krisp.
... they're fighting each other.
Next thing you know, they're back to bantering and watering the whole place, including its inhabitants, human or otherwise. This includes the Flowers.
haha, watering the Flowers, haha.
HIS bombs. (ok it's funnier the other way, but still)
*splash*
Agent Iodin spluttered as a very large water balloon came sailing in a ballistic arc and burst over her head.
The Chiss agent's glowing red eyes narrowed in annoyance and rage and she brushed her sopping blue-black hair from her forehead.
"Logan!" she yelled, but the shaggy-haired human Agent had already run away across the cafeteria, followed by new recruit Riboflavin, whom Logan had recuited as part of his water balloon rampage through HQ.
The pair aimed a volley of water balloons at Agent Kern, but the Jedi deflected the oncoming projectiles with a wave of his hand.
"This one's resisting arrest! Get him!" called Riboflavin.
From across the cafeteria, several Agents who had been involved in water battles now converged on the unfortunate Jedi.
"Quick, get one of the special water balloons," prompted Logan.
Riboflavin complied, producing a large balloon from their stash - a Bag of Holding. The balloon was emblazoned with a large "U".
"That's the one!" said Logan, lobbing the balloon at Kern, whose control of the Force was not sufficient to block every balloon. Unfortunately for Kern, he blocked two normal water balloons and let the "special" balloon through.
Said "special" balloon turned out to be filled with urple paint, a deluge of which covered Kern's blond hair completely and was dripping on his robes.
Flabbergasted, the Jedi stood in the middle of the cafeteria, a picture of woe, with his jaw opening and closing as he struggled for words.
"Sithspawn!" he yelled, running after Logan and Riboflavin. "I'll get you for that!"
"Mwa-hah! Urple banditry foreveeeer!!" cackled Logan as he ran out of the cafeteria, cloesely followed by Riboflavin, with Kern in hot pursuit right behind them.
The Nurses had finally gotten Kyle to turn loose of the piping on the ceiling for the fourth time this morning, and Cali noticed that there was a third rip in Kyle's new jeans. Apparently the de-glittering process plus chocolate had reacted in Kyle to produce both incredible energy and the incredible desire to climb. Cali checked that Kevin was holding Caster, the winged mad scientist in the form of a kitten, and Hannah was holding, the baby, Helen. He took Kyle's hand and opened the door of Medical.
Swoosh!
Cali stood, spluttering, as water poured off him. Whomever had rigged the giant bucket of water over the door of Medical had apparently been monitoring their trap, because mad cackles of laughter drifted down the hall to his left.
At the sound of pounding feet and splashes of water coming closer from the opposite direction, Cali stepped back into Medical and pulled the door mostly closed. One Agent ran past him carrying a large water gun, which he was firing back over his shoulder at another Agent who seemed to have a bag of infinite water balloons.
He smiled when the cackling of the booby trapper changed to squawks of protest amid the sounds of water balloon splashes. The Agent with the water gun came stalking back around by Cali.
Cali risked another soaking to poke his head out the door, and ask, "What is going on here?"
"All HQ water gun fight," the Agent said just before he squirted Cali in the face and continued his stalk down the hall.
Cali turned to tell the Nurses what was going on, but found that they had been listening the whole time. Fortunately they had caught Kyle when Cali had let him go.
"Maybe we should wa-" Cali began.
The Nurse holding Kyle by the collar, interrupted him, "You are taking these children to the Nursery, and you will do it now.
Note: Anyone can feel free to use Cali or the kids in their water fights. They are all on the wiki if you need to know what they look like.
Part II
"But the baby will get soaked," he protested.
She paused to consider this, and finally said, "We'll keep Helen, but you are taking the rest with you."
"You kids want to get wet?" Cali asked.
"Yeah!" All three of them shouted.
Cali looked around for Castor--this precipitated a five minute search for the kitten, while keeping a firm hold on Kyle's hand. There was so much technology in here that Cali was afraid to let the little mad scientist out of his sight for long. They finally found him in a supply closet surrounded by weapons that he had modified to fire water.
Kyle grabbed one and immediately turned it on the nurses around them. Cali scooped up Castor and as many of the weapons as he could carry, and made a break for the hall. The kids were just behind him. A blast of water helped them through the door.
"Why do they have a water hose that big in Medical?" he asked no one in particular. Kyle scrambled to his feet and ran off, giggling. Kevin followed his brother, but Hannah stopped to take a bedraggled and unhappy Castor, and give Cali a hand up.
"We better catch up to those two, this place is a maze." Cali said.
Hannah grinned and pumped up the pressure in her water gun. "Time to hunt?" she said.
Cali grinned and answered, "Yep."
Cali stuffed the extra weapons into Miah's magic backpack, and they set off after the brothers.
Cali ran around another corner, this time knocking another agent into a cache of water balloons. He took one look at the spluttering, wet agent struggling to regain her footing, and motioned Hannah to join him in running away. He ducked through a door into a water warzone. Tables were overturned protecting various groups of agents, urple-the nurses had told him the name of the awful color-paint splatters covered most surfaces and agents, bits of colorful balloons and shredded trash bags littered the floor, and draped across the heat and air ducts was Kyle, sniping the groups below.
The action stopped for a moment as everyone stared at Cali. Then the moment passed and entire group targeted him. Hannah, apparently having a better survival instinct that Cali, had immediately dove behind the nearest table, still holding Castor. By the time Cali had managed to join them water and urple paint ran off him in rivulets to form a large urplish puddle.
Kevin was also huddled behind the table, which Cali realized was right next to the pipes that allowed Kyle to climb to the pipes above the room.
"That's it!" he shouted. "Cover me," he said to Hannah and Kevin. Hannah giggled pointing to his normally wildly spiky hair that was plastered to his head and dripping urple pain, but nodded. With a final giggle she pumped her water gun and scanned the room. Without an obvious target the individual fights had broken out again. Cali let his gun hang on its sling, and climbed up the piping to the duct work.
"Did someone say wat-" *splash*
"Ok," said the Troll, "Whoevah got my hat wet is gonna get it."
*runs to find a water-based weapon*
*breaks out spud gun, starts filling water balloons*